free from toxic love

because you deserve it

5-Ways to Love Yourself Courageously

Enough to Walk Away

 

Staying in a situation and resenting someone for causing you emotional and physical pain, disrespecting you, and treating you like you are worthless makes no sense at all. Walking away from a toxic or abusive relationship becomes the only option when you respect and Love Yourself Courageously.

It’s impossible to find a truly loving, equal, and respectful relationship if you’re not in love with yourself. It’s time to invest your love in yourself, to fall madly deeply in love with you.

If you don’t love yourself deeply and completely, then you can’t ever be truly happy. It all begins with you + you in a loving relationship.

Courageous self-love is an equal mixture of confidence, values, and self-worth. They work together to create boundaries, and they’re what you reflect to the outside world. When you value yourself, your beliefs, and your desires, setting boundaries and sticking to them is a piece of cake. There is no second guessing your decisions when you know your value, your worth, and have solid boundaries.

When we prioritize the relationship we have with ourselves, everyone starts to treat us better than they did when we were putting them first.

Here are 5-Ways to Love Yourself Courageously Enough to Walk Away

1. Be Your Own Best Friend Everyday

We don’t hesitate to tell our best friend that she is being way too hard on herself and that she is a wonderful person. But when we are speaking to ourselves, the chat goes down the negative path. We can be extremely hard on ourselves.

We are our own Mean Girls and that needs to stop.

Our self-talk is extremely negative and focused on any little flaw we think we have or a tiny little mistake we may have made. Our negative self-talk stops us from moving forward. It stops us from seeing ourselves as a woman of value. It stops us from pursuing our goals, desires, and dreams. It stops us from living authentically and passionately.

What would happen if you stopped and asked yourself: “Would I talk to I best friend that way?” The answer is a big No!. Take that to heart and treat yourself like your own best friend. Someone you love without judgement and are happy and excited to hang out with. That girl who makes you feel good about yourself and ready to face the next challenge without hesitation. Be your own best friend.

Your Daily Best Friend Mantra:

I’m doing great and will keep moving towards my goals one step at a time.

I’m worthy of all that I desire and dream of.

I am worthy of my love, kindness, compassion, and laughter.

I am authentically Me!

Just for today, I forgive myself for any mistakes I might make.

 2. Boundaries are Your 5-Star Resort

“Boundaries are the borders that tell us and tell other people where our edges are. They are where we stop, and they begin, they define where we need space, energy, respect and personal power.” ~ Martha Beck

I know it may sound like a strange comparison but take a second and think about all that a 5-star resort offers you. While you’re there, all your wants, needs, and desires are met. You are pampered and cared for, protected and made to feel safe. There are fences but you have the freedom to leave and experience new sights, sounds, and places. You are secure in the knowledge that when you return, you will feel comfortable, peaceful, happy, and content.

Setting and maintaining your personal boundaries have the same effect. Boundaries protect, pamper, restore you while keeping you safe by meeting all your wants, needs, and desires. Personal boundaries set the tone for healthy relationships.

Boundaries are Rebel Self-Love.

When I first began to learn about setting healthy boundaries, it felt scary and difficult, but with a lot of time and practice, I’ve become comfortable setting and maintaining boundaries whenever I need to. Practice makes perfect and before you know it, your boundaries are a solid, integral part of you and when a situation comes up, you maintain your boundaries without a second thought.

5-Star Boundary Cheat Sheet

Create and write as many as you need. There are no limits on personal boundaries!

People may not ___________________________________

I have the right to ask for _____________________________

To protect my time and energy, it’s okay to __________________________

3.  Walk away from toxic relationships

I want you to take a moment to look at your life and the people and relationships within it. By this I mean all relationships, from work colleagues to family members, including both friendships and acquaintances and ask yourself:

• Are you in relationships where you feel bullied, criticised, unappreciated, or lonely?

• Are you holding onto relationships where you are emotionally or verbally or physically abused?

If you answered yes, I want you to explore what it would feel like if your life was free from these relationships.

• How would you feel?

• What would you feel free to do or not do?

• In what ways would your life be improved?

You don’t have to wake up one morning and declare these relationships over. Instead you can learn to protect yourself better and minimise the power you give away to people. Ultimately, this might mean ending the relationship, but in the short-term, simply explore what it would look like to spend less time with these people and share less of yourself in these relationships. Practice stating your needs and setting and maintaining boundaries.

And if necessary, love yourself courageously enough to walk away.

Is it Toxic Test

Wondering if a relationship is toxic, ask yourself these questions and you’ll know whether to keep or delete the relationship. And sometimes in not an answer. Be honest.

When I’m around this person do I feel content, peaceful, happy, and at ease?

When I’m around this person do I feel anxious, sick, explosive, frightened, nervous, abandoned, or lonely?

 

4. Recognize that You Are a Woman of Value

Do you believe you are a Woman of Value? If you’re experiencing an abusive or toxic relationship, you probably view yourself as valueless and I’m here to tell you emphatically, You Are A Woman of Value. You are worthy of kindness, love, compassion, respect, and happiness. Period. You are worthy of all your dreams, goals, and desires.

You are a valuable woman, and it’s time to shine your light on all your badass worthiness!

Standing strong as a woman of value begins when you celebrate your personal accomplishments. All of them – big, small, tiny, imperfect, funny, courageous. Every success that you have each and every day is worth of celebration.

Start your I Did It Success Journal and at the end of every day, write down all that you got done! All of it. Now celebrate how amazing you are. What a difference you make in the world. How you shine your light on others. Celebrate and then celebrate some more.

Celebrating your accomplishments builds your confidence and that strengths your I Am Worthy muscle. A woman of value knows without a doubt she is worthy of greatness and she will set solid boundaries and celebrate all her success as she moves along on her journey!

 

I did ____________________________________

I did ____________________________________

Now celebrate your accomplishments! You did it.

5. Gratitude is Self-Care

There is always something to be grateful for.  The smallest of things bring me the greatest gratitude.

When you feel you are “stuck” in your darkest moment, gratitude will provide the way out. During dark times, it’s hard to see positive forces when obstacles are blaring, and fears are looming.

The benefits of practicing gratitude are life-altering.  Gratitude puts situations into perspective. When we can see the good as well as the bad, it becomes more difficult to complain and stay stuck.

Gratitude helps us realize what we have. This can lessen our need for wanting more or looking for answers to why questions about the past.

Creating True Happiness Begins with Gratitude

Feeling grateful or thankful each day for the little things in your life opens the door to happiness and joy.

Pure Joy comes to you when you can wake up in the morning and say:

Thanks for this Day!

I Won’t Blow it

I Promise to Smile, Share, and Be Grateful

You will feel the positive effects on your outlook and your life as soon as you shift your focus to gratitude, gratefulness, thanks, and thankfulness.

Practice Morning and Evening Gratitude. Set up a journal or jar and write down at least 3 things you are grateful for. At the end of each week sit with a cup of tea or glass of wine or ……… and review your notes in your jar or your journal.

You will be pleasantly surprised by how much goodness exists in your life. Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have. That will build your momentum and keep you moving forward.

Feeling down? Best moment to practice gratitude. Look around. There is so much right there in front of you that is good. Smile and move forward.

I’m so happy I was able to share 5-Ways to Love Yourself Courageously Enough to Walk Away. Leaving someone you believed loved you or leaving what you believed to be your dream love, is a huge step in healing and moving forward to claim your big, bold, blissful life. You’ve got this, and you will be stronger, better, wiser, and happier on the other side.

Let’s keep in touch and I would love to hear from you.

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Website: www.susanball.ca

Email: susan@susanball.ca

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Community: Healing Narcissistic Trauma

Books: Courage & Grace, You + Joy – check out Amazon for all the details

*Thank you for sharing this information with us Susan!