A guest post from Sue Riordan – As I am well on the healing journey I have started to think about the benefits of ending the narcissistic relationship and surprisingly there are many positives that I didn’t even realise. When in these toxic relationships you think you will never be happy again – however just look at some of the things you gain:
- You get rid of the ‘mind fuckery’, projection, blaming, shaming, stonewalling, silent treatment, ghosting and triangulation
- You get to learn you were deceived and it was never your fault. You fell for the illusion of the mask!
- You get to expose the narcissist through telling your story and become emancipated
- You learn to be grateful as you are have survived the narcissist
- Instead of being a ‘narc magnet’ you become a ‘narc repellent’ and also remove other narcissists from your life
- You get to nurture and reinvent yourself – You can live in peace
- You get to wake up and see the beauty in your life
- You make space for happiness to break through into your life
- You get to see that the narcissists smear campaign is because you have pulled the mask right off and they are unable to cope with being exposed
- You get to know that you are blessed because you can feel emotion and know you are the envy of the narcissist as they are void of anything real and authentic – They are fake
- You get to heal the wounds physically, emotionally and spiritually and become a champion for the child within
- You get to unravel the effects of CPTSD, trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance and you no longer feel like you’re going mad!
- You can learn to stop abandoning and rejecting yourself.
- You begin to learn trust and set boundaries
- You no longer need live with someone so defective
- You get your mind back and learn to feel your beautiful heart
- You get the opportunity to find yourself and live your life on purpose.
- You begin to feel pride in all you have overcome
- You learn you have a super power, an unfound strength and resilience
- If you were discarded, you learn you were not rejected you were being redirected
- You get to help others and shine a light on narcissistic abuse
- You gain freedom and restful sleep
- You are not dead like the narcissist wanted
- You get hope, joy and happiness back in to your life.
- You are the master and co-creator of your life and not the narcissist. You get to manifest your dreams and desires – you come out of the cocoon.
- You get personal growth
- You get to be thankful that you are no longer under the illusion of the narc
- You learn to trust your instincts and intuition
- You get to deal with and let go of anger – You get to shout and scream and honour your own feelings
- You go on a journey of self-love, self-care, self-soothing, compassion and kindness for self
- You learn to have fun, joy and make meaningful happy experiences
- You go through a metamorphosis, an awakening to your true authentic self
- You get to move on and live life on your own terms and break free from the negativity
- You learn to forgive yourself for not leaving sooner
- You learn to forgive your abuser and accept an apology you are never going to receive – Not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because you deserve to live a life free from the chains that bind you
- You get to live a life free from abuse, chaos and drama
- You no longer need to have sex with an empty vessel – your self-respect and self-esteem returns
- You get to choose mature, authentic and real loving relationships
- You learn you can’t give or receive love until you learn to love yourself – You learn to dive deep and do the inner shadow work
- You go on to have positive relationships, especially with your family and friends
- Your children are free to live in an abuse free environment
- Your family get to live a narcissistic free future without the worry they might also attract a narcissist when they grow older
- Your family is finally free from the toxicity and worry that you are being abused
- You and your family can become knowledgeable on narcissistic abuse
- You learn to accept and stop the intra-familial generations of narcissistic cycle of abuse
- You get to watch from the distance the karma of the narcissist – As the saying goes, if you stand by the river long enough you get to watch your enemies floating by – I have seen this so many times.
- You get to watch the narcissist decompose – the ‘narcissist’ I was with for 15 years had rheumatoid arthritis because in my opinion his body turned on him. This was due to his own level of internal and external hate, anger and toxicity that festered within him – He was ‘dead wood’
- You are no longer used as a pawn in the narcissists game
- You get to piss off the narcissist because you are the winner. They will always be a narcissist
- You get to pass on the baton to the next primary supply. YOU ARE FREE. Good luck, I hope you learn your lessons quickly, so you can get out as soon as possible and free yourself from the evil entity that has entangled and attached themselves to you the way they did me. God bless you.
It is amazing the transformation that begins when you step out, stay out and go no contact with a narcissist. Life can only improve, and you will go from strength to strength. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that you are ENOUGH and do not need a shabby evil entity in your life. The only way is up! I’m sure throughout your journey you have experienced other reasons and advantages to leaving or moving on from your narcissistic lover and please free to add to the list in the comments section below. You can always read and re-read this blog post when you need a reminder of why it is/was the best possible outcome for your life breaking free.
Guest Post by Sue Riordan visit her website www.sueriordanconsultancy.com