CRAFT Addiction Treatment and Codependency

Though powerless over an alcoholic-addict’s ultimate behavior, we can influence them to get addiction treatment using CRAFT. It’s a Community Reinforcement and Family Training program for addiction treatment developed in the 70s that has been effective in training “Concerned Significant Others” (CSO)s of treatment-resistant substance abusers to start treatment. The program has been more than […]

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Senior Sociopaths – How to Recognize and Escape by Donna Andersen

My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is now available in the Lovefraud store and on Amazon. Here’s the book’s take-home message: Senior sociopaths engage in antisocial behavior and abuse until they die. I wrote the book because I married a con man, James Alwyn Montgomery of Australia. He […]

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Is Your Person a Narcissist (or are You Crazy)?

If a tornado snapped all the trees in the woods but no one saw it, guess what?  It still happened.  You’re not crazy.  Like a tornado passing in the night, you don’t always see narcissistic abuse while it’s happening.  What you CAN see, once it’s gone and the light dawns, is the trail of destruction:  […]

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DARVO: Abusers’ “Victim-Blaming” Tactic

Abusers are long known for victim-blaming, because they never want to take responsibility. More recently a research psychologist Jennifer Joy Freyd gave this a name: DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. This is more than either “playing the victim” or victim-blaming, which we’re all capable of when conversations are misunderstood or not heard or remembered. Examples […]

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The Codependent False Self

Codependents don’t realize that they’re living from their false self. Because the false self isn’t real, you might feel anxious trying to be accepted by others or believe that they can see through you or are judging you. There’s an immediacy and aliveness in living authentically. It requires presence. Hence, depression and feeling disconnected are signs that you […]

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Losing Your Power in Narcissistic Relationships

The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. Narcissists put themselves first, and so do their partners. Due to their insecurities, they constantly scan their environments and monitor their interactions to see who’s on […]

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Processing Your Fears By Journaling

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real Emotions. They are intricate and they can be tricky. The swirling of emotions can create a downward spiral and your life may feel like it is falling apart; emotional irregularity is known to create a tornado that can be overwhelming. Emotional resilience is the goal that will set us […]

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Dealing with High-Conflict People

Individuals who are aggressive thrive on provoking and escalating conflict. They’re usually domineering and try to control the conversation. They’re distrustful, reactive, highly defensive, intense, dogmatic, and often, though not always, loud. They’re not open to alternative points of view, but are more invested in enhancing their power at your expense than listening to your […]

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The Narcissistic Parent

A narcissistic parent behaves as they imagine themselves to be—the king or queen of the family, or someone whose activities are more important than being part of the family. As a child, your parents are your world until you’re able to leave home. Your survival and self-concept depend on them. A narcissistic parent can severely damage […]

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