thoughts and videos to help you learn

Why God?

Written by Anonymous. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives”. – Genesis 50:20 NIV. I’d like to begin with this is my experience. I am not here to tell you how to think or feel. My story, while it […]

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What to Do When Narcissists Won’t Let Go

Breakups with narcissists don’t always end the relationship. Many won’t let you go, even when it’s they who leave the relationship, and even when they’re with a new partner. They won’t accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce. A research study showed that […]

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Echo ~ The Inverted Narcissist

For those who are desperate to break away from the surreal malevolence of a malignant narcissist, it may seem all the more disorienting to consider that there are pathologically codependent folks who adore and latch on exclusively to narcissists. Yet they do indeed exist. As a complex trauma therapist and survivor, I have both treated others […]

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Discarded by a Narcissist

To discard is to get rid of something that is useless and unwanted. In the context of a relationship, it is the ultimate form of degradation. A break-up with a malignant narcissist is characterized as a discard, because like a piece of unwanted garbage the victim of narcissistic abuse has lost their value, and the narcissist […]

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How Childhood Trauma Can Set You Up to Be a Magnet for Narcissists

Like many of the traumatized men and women I treat for narcissistic abuse syndrome, I too was a magnet for malignant narcissists. Throughout much of my life, the plight of brutal circumstances as a child raised by abusers set me up for subsequent victimization. The developmental disasters I incurred impeded the cultivation of interpersonal discrimination and […]

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Narcissist Abuse

Transforming Bitterness Into Acceptance

How Mindfulness Practices Help in Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse There is ‘nothing worse’ than being with someone who is bitter about what happened to them, right? Wrong. What’s worse is being the person who can’t find a way to rid themselves of bitterness. Bitterness, like anger and other uncomfortable emotions, can take a long time […]

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Narcissistic Gifts

Why it’s Hard to Receive

Often many people, in particular codependents, find it hard to receive. Codependents are more comfortable giving or even self-sacrificing than receiving. Yet they wonder why they’re in relationships with “selfish” or narcissistic partners. They might fantasize receiving, but keep right on giving and not suspect that their predicament is not just due to their partners’ […]

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break free from narcissist abuse

Take control of your life to bring in a Happy New Year – Videos to Watch

GAVIN De Becker, the gift of fear Jim Carrey’s Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation 10 Seconds of Courage: Life Lessons from a Fighter Overcoming guilt and shame after abuse Listening to shame | Brené Brown Sheryl Sandberg Gives UC Berkeley Commencement Keynote Speech Gaslighting and Narcissistic Abuse – How to heal with Amy […]

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Book of the Month The Abandonment Recovery Workbook

A powerful workshop-in-a-book for healing from loss One day everything is fine. The next, you find yourself without everything you took for granted. Love has turned sour. The people you depended on have let you down. You feel you’ll never love again. But there is a way out. In The Abandonment Recovery Workbook, psychotherapist and abandonment expert […]

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