thoughts and videos to help you learn

Are Empaths Codependent?

Empaths are more than empathetic. Like an HSP–highly sensitive person–they’re highly attuned to stimuli and other people’s emotions and energy, usually to a degree considered transpersonal or paranormal. They may be codependent and end up in abusive relationships. Let’s first consider some definitions. An HSP has a rich inner life and deep central nervous system […]

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Why I Used to Love Shopping…

I don’t know if many of you know this, but I have a 15 year old daughter. A fabulous, smart, out-spoken, every-thing-I-wish-I-could’ve-been at her age, daughter. She loves herself and sometimes doubts herself, but trusts herself most of the time. I didn’t have that, and still don’t some days. She and I recently went shopping […]

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The Double Life of the Narcissist…. How didn’t I know?

Living two, three, four, or more lives is typical for many narcissists. It truly is amazing how they can compartmentalize and keep everything straight for so long. Many do get caught, but they tend not to learn their lessons and just pick up a few more lives next time around. Finding out that you are […]

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Steps of Codependency Recovery

The overall goal of codependency recovery is to become a full-functioning individual. That entails knowing, valuing, and trusting yourself, and expressing yourself in your life and relationships. It involves a complete makeover that impacts what you believe and how you think, feel, and act. (See Stages of Codependency and Recovery.) Codependency untreated follows the same […]

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Learned Helplessness Is Not a Life Sentence

We can feel hopeless and helpless when we experience chronic abuse or repeated obstacles. You might feel stuck in poverty or an unhappy relationship. You could or be dealing with your own or someone else’s addiction that feels powerless to change. You might be experiencing a debilitating health condition or repeated school, relationship, or work […]

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Forgiveness

Do you find you are angry?  Hurt?  Confused?  Wanting to curl into the fetal position and just cry? Do you or have you felt like there was something wrong with you?  That you are broken? Have you asked or do you ask, why did this happen to you?  How did you get to this point? […]

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What do Addicts and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse have in Common?

This is a question I think about often because I have clients who struggle with addictions and I can really relate to some of the experiences that have been shared with me in my office. In my humble opinion as a therapist there actually are quite a bit of similarities between us survivors and individuals […]

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Don’t Get Stuck on the “Whys, Hows, or Whats”

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist is so confusing. I remember talking on the phone for hours with my best friend trying to put the pieces together. “So he told my parents and me yesterday that he wanted us to get married and today he said he didn’t love me and was just acting […]

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Surviving the Discard?

The discard phase is so challenging for survivors. Due to cognitive dissonance, created by the love bombing and the good days contrasted with the evil hurtful side of your ex-partner, you are left so confused, hurt, and in so much pain. It is not uncommon during the discard to be willing to do anything to […]

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How are Your Boundaries in the Pandemic?

Maintaining boundaries is challenging for most of us. But the pandemic has made it even more difficult. People have been quarantined with a partner, housemate, or family for nearly a year. Normally, we could at least create physical boundaries by going to work, the gym, seeing friends, or even taking side trips. All that has […]

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