Learned Helplessness Is Not a Life Sentence

We can feel hopeless and helpless when we experience chronic abuse or repeated obstacles. You might feel stuck in poverty or an unhappy relationship. You could or be dealing with your own or someone else’s addiction that feels powerless to change. You might be experiencing a debilitating health condition or repeated school, relationship, or work […]

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Forgiveness

Do you find you are angry?  Hurt?  Confused?  Wanting to curl into the fetal position and just cry? Do you or have you felt like there was something wrong with you?  That you are broken? Have you asked or do you ask, why did this happen to you?  How did you get to this point? […]

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What do Addicts and Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse have in Common?

This is a question I think about often because I have clients who struggle with addictions and I can really relate to some of the experiences that have been shared with me in my office. In my humble opinion as a therapist there actually are quite a bit of similarities between us survivors and individuals […]

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Don’t Get Stuck on the “Whys, Hows, or Whats”

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist is so confusing. I remember talking on the phone for hours with my best friend trying to put the pieces together. “So he told my parents and me yesterday that he wanted us to get married and today he said he didn’t love me and was just acting […]

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Surviving the Discard?

The discard phase is so challenging for survivors. Due to cognitive dissonance, created by the love bombing and the good days contrasted with the evil hurtful side of your ex-partner, you are left so confused, hurt, and in so much pain. It is not uncommon during the discard to be willing to do anything to […]

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How are Your Boundaries in the Pandemic?

Maintaining boundaries is challenging for most of us. But the pandemic has made it even more difficult. People have been quarantined with a partner, housemate, or family for nearly a year. Normally, we could at least create physical boundaries by going to work, the gym, seeing friends, or even taking side trips. All that has […]

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What to Do When Narcissists Won’t Let Go

Breakups with narcissists don’t always end the relationship. Many won’t let you go, even when it’s they who leave the relationship, and even when they’re with a new partner. They won’t accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce. A research study showed that […]

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Why God? How God Helped Me Heal

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives”. – Genesis 50:20 NIV. I’d like to begin with this is my experience. I am not here to tell you how to think or feel. My story, while it may or may […]

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Echo ~ The Inverted Narcissist

For those who are desperate to break away from the surreal malevolence of a malignant narcissist, it may seem all the more disorienting to consider that there are pathologically codependent folks who adore and latch on exclusively to narcissists. Yet they do indeed exist. As a complex trauma therapist and survivor, I have both treated others […]

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Discarded by a Narcissist

To discard is to get rid of something that is useless and unwanted. In the context of a relationship, it is the ultimate form of degradation. A break-up with a malignant narcissist is characterized as a discard, because like a piece of unwanted garbage the victim of narcissistic abuse has lost their value, and the narcissist […]

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