Don’t Get Stuck on the “Whys, Hows, or Whats”

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist is so confusing. I remember talking on the phone for hours with my best friend trying to put the pieces together. “So he told my parents and me yesterday that he wanted us to get married and today he said he didn’t love me and was just acting […]

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Surviving the Discard?

The discard phase is so challenging for survivors. Due to cognitive dissonance, created by the love bombing and the good days contrasted with the evil hurtful side of your ex-partner, you are left so confused, hurt, and in so much pain. It is not uncommon during the discard to be willing to do anything to […]

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How are Your Boundaries in the Pandemic?

Maintaining boundaries is challenging for most of us. But the pandemic has made it even more difficult. People have been quarantined with a partner, housemate, or family for nearly a year. Normally, we could at least create physical boundaries by going to work, the gym, seeing friends, or even taking side trips. All that has […]

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What to Do When Narcissists Won’t Let Go

Breakups with narcissists don’t always end the relationship. Many won’t let you go, even when it’s they who leave the relationship, and even when they’re with a new partner. They won’t accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce. A research study showed that […]

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Why God? How God Helped Me Heal

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives”. – Genesis 50:20 NIV. I’d like to begin with this is my experience. I am not here to tell you how to think or feel. My story, while it may or may […]

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Echo ~ The Inverted Narcissist

For those who are desperate to break away from the surreal malevolence of a malignant narcissist, it may seem all the more disorienting to consider that there are pathologically codependent folks who adore and latch on exclusively to narcissists. Yet they do indeed exist. As a complex trauma therapist and survivor, I have both treated others […]

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Discarded by a Narcissist

To discard is to get rid of something that is useless and unwanted. In the context of a relationship, it is the ultimate form of degradation. A break-up with a malignant narcissist is characterized as a discard, because like a piece of unwanted garbage the victim of narcissistic abuse has lost their value, and the narcissist […]

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How Childhood Trauma Can Set You Up to Be a Magnet for Narcissists

Like many of the traumatized men and women I treat for narcissistic abuse syndrome, I too was a magnet for malignant narcissists. Throughout much of my life, the plight of brutal circumstances as a child raised by abusers set me up for subsequent victimization. The developmental disasters I incurred impeded the cultivation of interpersonal discrimination and […]

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Narcissist Abuse

Transforming Bitterness Into Acceptance

How Mindfulness Practices Help in Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse There is ‘nothing worse’ than being with someone who is bitter about what happened to them, right? Wrong. What’s worse is being the person who can’t find a way to rid themselves of bitterness. Bitterness, like anger and other uncomfortable emotions, can take a long time […]

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