Breaking up with a Narcissist

Narcissists are so dangerous because they lack empathy, have a limited capacity for unconditional love. Sadly, their hearts either haven’t developed or have been shut down due to early psychic trauma, such as being raised by narcissistic parents, a crippling handicap both emotionally and spiritually. Hard as it may be to neither comprehend, these people have little insight into their actions, nor do they regret them.
Breaking up with a narcissist is never easy but, with the right intention and the willingness to let a few things go, it certainly can be done. The good news is that the “rules” of breaking up with a narcissist are completely different than the rules that apply to even the most dysfunctional of “normal” relationships. When you break up with a narcissist, there are a whole slew of things that you simply don’t have to worry about. You don’t have to worry about hurting his feelings because he doesn’t have any. Because he’s never around, you really don’t even have to tell him you’re breaking up. Even if you do break up in person, he’ll likely be so insulted that he’ll start giving you the silent treatment anyway. If you’re trying to break up with a narcissist, use these methods to get your power back.

Don’t Fall For Their Manipulations
They will use every trick in the book to get you back so be prepared. Narcissists are really convincing. When you are ready to leave, stick to your convictions and move on to a more positive future filled with real love.

Set Limits
Since narcissists have no empathy, nor can they really love, you must leave them cold turkey and endure the pain. Set limits and say “no” to them and in your heart. Then gather all your strength and keep walking into the unknown towards something better.

Focus on the Future
Once detached from a narcissist it is extremely important than you focus all your positive energy and thoughts on doing good things for yourself and the world. Don’t let your mind wander to the past or to what he is doing.

Be Kind to Yourself
Treasure yourself. Be very kind to yourself and know that you deserve a loving relationship with someone who can reciprocate that love.

Needless to say, the only reasonable way to end the sheer madness that is keeping up with a narcissistic partner is to end the obviously unhealthy relationship. While you are doing this for your own sanity, there are many ways that you are helping the other person, too.

1. Breaking up means freeing you from the burden. Narcissists are high-maintenance partners. They require more patience, understanding, and oftentimes a lot of enabling in order to float a boat that’s bound to sink in the end. Consider yourself a martyr if you’ve made it this far, but the bottom line is: you don’t deserve to be treated like crap. Going back to our earlier analogy, a healthy relationship must be in balance. That balance is give and take, not the narcissist taking the best of you and leaving you in ruin.

2. A break-up can initiate change in a person. While there is the possibility that a narcissist would think that you don’t deserve him/her after the breakup, they’re still humans who are prone to tiny wake-up calls such as break-ups. Breaking up with a narcissist might make him/her rethink life and how they might end up alone, should they not change their ways.

3. Breaking up with a narcissist allows breathing space for other people. One of the consequences of having a relationship with a narcissist is the possibility of alienating other people. Friends, co-workers, and family will certainly have developed apprehension for your choice of partner. Most likely, they have distanced themselves from you. Breaking up with your narcissist allows you to go back and mend your relationships with other people that your partner alienated from you. Because having a relationship with a narcissist is self-defeating in its own right. A narcissist only maintains a relationship with you because of the rewards they can get from it. If you think that putting up with their behavior is the ultimate form of love, you are very wrong. Narcissists are parasites, so to speak, and they take what they can and leave nothing behind. It will be good riddance to curtail this cycle by ending the relationship. Because if they really don’t care for you, the least you can do is to love yourself and stay away.

4. By breaking up, both of you can learn. Despite all the unpleasant emotional baggage that break ups bring, the ultimate consolation prize is the life lessons you can glean from the experience. As the saying goes, when things fall apart, all that’s left to do is to pick up the pieces.

5. Break ups don’t only shatter the relationship, but the people involved. You are a different person before and after. While it may not bring change automatic, a break up will certainly leave a mark on a narcissist. As for you, you’ll learn that self-respect is more valuable than selflessness.

Yes, ending a relationship with a narcissist is easier than you think because the reality of the situation is that you’ve been broken up the whole time! Just because the narcissist disappears without saying a word doesn’t mean he hasn’t broken up with you because he has. Silent treatments are just break-ups in disguise intended to make you imagine that the possibility that you haven’t been dumped for good still exists.

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