Getting unstuck from an insidious cycle of penance and self-punishment “Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you” ~ Rupi Kaur (Milk and Honey) Many of the folks I see for complex trauma therapy are immersed in the arduous process of dismantling their bondage to a malignant narcissist (NPD). Although the […]Read More
IS IT LOVE OR OBLIGATION?
Although it is hard to make an exact definition of love, describing love by how it feels makes an understanding of love more accessible. I’m talking about deep, long-term love that is shared equally by both partners. The word love is often used to describe romance, attraction, and sexual energy — all of which […]Read More
Making Meaning of Narcissistic Abuse for the Spiritual Woman
I don’t think I am the only woman with a deep spiritual relationship, and values, who has wanted to bang her head against a wall trying to understand the crazy-making behavior of someone she loves. The crazy-making abuse, the lack of empathy, and the desire to hold on to it all for dear life, because […]Read More
9 Tips for Coping with Holiday Depression and Stress
The stress of the holidays triggers sadness and depression for many people. This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. People compare their emotions to what they assume others are experiencing or what they’re supposed to feel and then think that they alone fall short. They judge themselves and […]Read More
Complex Grief and Trauma In Toxic Relationships
We can’t talk about narcissistic emotional abuse without talking about grief and trauma. Both of these will come up in your recovery. Each individual has their own unique losses to assess and to grieve if it becomes necessary to leave the relationship. Some of these may include: loss of a dream loss of an intact […]Read More
The Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply
As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]Read More
Parental Alienation: What Is It and How Do You Cope?
After close to three decades and without any planning, I chose to escape a narcissistically abusive marriage. Wow! I wished I would have read Tracy A. Malone’s book, “Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!” because then I would have learned from her extensive research and experience about the “covert tricks they pull” […]Read More
The Narcissistically Disordered Family
The Narcissistically Disordered Family A Glimpse At The Grooming And Abusing That Occurs Within The Home by Rev. Sheri Heller, LCSW In a memoir piece I wrote about my disturbing relationship with my narcissistically disordered father I elaborated on how his neglect, sadistic mockery, objectification and abandonment nearly destroyed me. The proverbial silver lining of having […]Read More
Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers
Another great article, courtesy of Darlene Lancer. All children of narcissists suffer. Sons of narcissistic mothers suffer damage to their autonomy, self-worth, and future relationships with women. Narcissists lack empathy and ability to nurture their children. They don’t see them as individuals, but only as extensions of themselves. Their children’s feelings and needs are neglected […]Read More
Has your parent ever given you the silent treatment?
A big thank you to Mel Crowe for this great article! Have they done it a few times? Do they do it whenever there’s been an argument or disagreement, which means that instead of talking things through, clearing the air, reaching a compromise, or apologizing, they stop talking to you for a few hours, […]Read More