Dealing With An Abuser Or Narcissist

Narcissists are antagonistic and selfish and can be abusive. Dealing with a narcissist is challenging.  Whether the relationship is with a parent, sibling, or lover, love may feel out of reach. Do you feel emotionally abandoned or abused, vacillate between hope and pain, love and resentment, and staying or cutting off contact? Living together breeds […]

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The Vulnerable Narcissist

The passive version of antagonism and entitlement “The manipulator portrays him or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy […]

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Why “Parental Alienation” is Not A Syndrome But Your Child’s Rejection is Real

According to the American Psychological Association, parental alienation is “a child’s experience of being manipulated by one parent to turn against the other (targeted) parent and resist contact with him or her.” It is one of the most predictable and threatening concepts coming into the conversation during high-conflict divorce and/or custody battles when there is […]

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When a Social Justice Warrior is a Communal Narcissist

Identifying when malevolence is cloaked in philanthropy When I was a kid, I was enamored with topical folk songwriter and political activist Phil Ochs. The abysmal circumstances I was born into were assuaged by his activism, brilliant lyricism, and melodic voice. He inspired me and gave me hope. Ochs was emblematic of what the ideology […]

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Why Narcissists Get Worse Over Time

  You know what I’ve never heard? Someone saying about their narcissistic ex, “They just got better and better over time!” I’ve never heard it and you’ve never heard it because it’s not true. Narcissists don’t get better, they don’t improve. This is a fact, basic science, aka Shit We Know to be True. Like other […]

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Anatomy of Abuse: How Predators Snare Their Prey

Episodic ruptures were peppered throughout their tumultuous relationship, but when seemingly benign texting commenced during the pandemic, Megan began to question if she was correct in concluding that her ex was a full-blown malignant narcissist. In fact, their friendly exchanges caused her to ruminate over how the early stages of their courtship were not defined by […]

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Dehumanization: The Psychological and Sociological Practice of Destroying Others

On the heels of ending a long-term relationship with a malignant narcissist, Lauren vehemently and unceasingly blamed herself for ‘allowing’ him to sadistically debase her. Although she intellectually concurred with M. Scott Peck’s premise that genuine love is volitional, that true intimacy is contingent on honoring one another’s humanity and that another’s proclivity to abuse […]

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The Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply

As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]

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Please Hoover Me, Narcissist. Why Aren’t They?

I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]

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The Subtle Abuser

Abominable, morally depraved abusers are easy to spot and always remembered. People such as Leona Helmsley (The Queen of Mean), Starlet Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest), knighted BBC notable Jimmy Seville, brutal Haitian dictator ‘Papa Doc,’ sex offender and financier Jeffrey Epstein, and Tele-evangelist Jim Bakker, whose empire fell from Grace due to sex scandals, addiction, fraud and theft of ministry funds, are but […]

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