Nobody likes being played. And most people in toxic relationships – which we refer to better as “manipulationships” have no idea that this is exactly what our partners have been doing since the very beginning: using our empathy against us, and tapping on this wonderful quality to keep us “stuck,” or keep us coming back. One […]
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Let’s talk about boundaries, baby… When I was a teenager, I knew exactly what a boundary was. It was that invisible line we crossed over when my parents drove us from Arizona on our way to Disneyland. Welcome to California! When my first husband came along in my early twenties, I held tight onto my […]
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I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]
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Have you ever noticed how the goalpost keeps moving when dealing with a narcissist? The rules, expectations, behaviors, and conduct are consistently inconsistent. Narcissists use random and varied tactics of fear and confusion to condition their targets. The objective is to keep them from ever achieving a state of equilibrium; to render them defenseless, compliant, […]
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The most common question I get from my clients or readers is, “What if I’m the narcissist?” If you’ve asked yourself this question, it’s likely because your narcissist is accusing you of being one. But the simple answer is, if you think you’re a narcissist, then that means you are concerned about other people’s feelings, […]
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It is often said, “If you think being married to a narcissist was bad, wait until you divorce one.” Who said that? Me. Yours truly. Because unfortunately, I know. What is also unfortunate is I learned this the hard way. If divorcing a narcissist were a class, I failed it with a big fat F. […]
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Thank you Darlene Lancer for another wonderful article! Although we seek love, we may unwittingly damage or derail it. Surprisingly, our fear of not being loved, which includes fear of abandonment, loneliness, and rejection, can lead to eight common behaviors that sabotage love and relationships. When we lack self-love, although we may have relationships, generally […]
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Thank you Darlene Lancer for another great article! One strategy for dealing with a narcissist or sociopath is to act like a “gray rock,” meaning that you become uninteresting and unresponsive. You don’t feed their needs for drama or attention. You don’t show emotion, say anything interesting, or disclose any personal information. Nor do you […]
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Thank you Darlene Lancer for another great article! Most relationships fail and nearly half of American adults are unmarried. Why can’t we find love and why don’t relationships last? Paradoxically, as much as we want love, we also fear it. Fear of not being loved is the greatest reason we don’t find love and sabotage […]
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How to overcome your ex rejecting you A big thank you to Nancy Sungyun for this great article! Are you miserable and depressed because your ex is rejecting your wish to get back together? No matter what you say or do, he or she refuses to get back together with you. In fact, the harder […]
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