Especially if you’re trying to heal after a relationship with one Everyone makes mistakes. All people are inherently good. He/she didn’t mean to hurt me. He/she didn’t know what they were doing. In an ideal world, all of the above would be true. In an ideal world, every single human would be good at their […]
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You’ve been in survival mode for the longest time. Not really living. Not thriving. Just existing as if in a vacuum. Nothing they do or say surprises you anymore – if anything, it just propels you further into numbness. You know when you react, they will loop you into an endless cycle of conflict and […]
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An opportune time to troll for supply. Holiday expectations can be challenging. Living up to the idyllic narrative of collective bonding and celebrations in which people everywhere are supposedly experiencing holiday rituals and get-togethers that foster well-being and intimacy can be anxiety-producing. For many folks, the seasonal lure of promised pleasure, coupled with the glitz […]
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The stress of the holidays triggers sadness and depression for many people. This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. People compare their emotions to what they assume others are experiencing or what they’re supposed to feel and then think that they alone fall short. They judge themselves and […]
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We can’t talk about narcissistic emotional abuse without talking about grief and trauma. Both of these will come up in your recovery. Each individual has their own unique losses to assess and to grieve if it becomes necessary to leave the relationship. Some of these may include: loss of a dream loss of an intact […]
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The truth is you may not recognize him or her at first because they will work overtime to make you feel like you are the answer to their prayers. They will make you feel like you are one in a million, larger than life, and floating on cloud 9 in an intense love affair. They […]
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Let’s talk about boundaries, baby… When I was a teenager, I knew exactly what a boundary was. It was that invisible line we crossed over when my parents drove us from Arizona on our way to Disneyland. Welcome to California! When my first husband came along in my early twenties, I held tight onto my […]
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I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]
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My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]
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When we first met, I told my husband I was very “adaptable.” I didn’t realize the price of being a chameleon until I started recovery and my journey of individuation. By then I was dead inside. I’d spent years adapting to abuse and belittling that I’d absorbed. I was detached from my feelings and needs, […]
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