The truth is you may not recognize him or her at first because they will work overtime to make you feel like you are the answer to their prayers. They will make you feel like you are one in a million, larger than life, and floating on cloud 9 in an intense love affair. They […]
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Let’s talk about boundaries, baby… When I was a teenager, I knew exactly what a boundary was. It was that invisible line we crossed over when my parents drove us from Arizona on our way to Disneyland. Welcome to California! When my first husband came along in my early twenties, I held tight onto my […]
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I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]
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My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]
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When we first met, I told my husband I was very “adaptable.” I didn’t realize the price of being a chameleon until I started recovery and my journey of individuation. By then I was dead inside. I’d spent years adapting to abuse and belittling that I’d absorbed. I was detached from my feelings and needs, […]
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After close to three decades and without any planning, I chose to escape a narcissistically abusive marriage. Wow! I wished I would have read Tracy A. Malone’s book, “Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!” because then I would have learned from her extensive research and experience about the “covert tricks they pull” […]
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Have you ever noticed how the goalpost keeps moving when dealing with a narcissist? The rules, expectations, behaviors, and conduct are consistently inconsistent. Narcissists use random and varied tactics of fear and confusion to condition their targets. The objective is to keep them from ever achieving a state of equilibrium; to render them defenseless, compliant, […]
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The most common question I get from my clients or readers is, “What if I’m the narcissist?” If you’ve asked yourself this question, it’s likely because your narcissist is accusing you of being one. But the simple answer is, if you think you’re a narcissist, then that means you are concerned about other people’s feelings, […]
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It is often said, “If you think being married to a narcissist was bad, wait until you divorce one.” Who said that? Me. Yours truly. Because unfortunately, I know. What is also unfortunate is I learned this the hard way. If divorcing a narcissist were a class, I failed it with a big fat F. […]
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First Christmas Alone Post-Narc Abuse by Tracy A. Malone They say that nothing is certain in life but death and taxes. I will add one more item to the list of things you can always count on: Narcissists always ruin holidays. The cliché holiday culture is the big family dinner with happy, loving people, cookies, […]
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