When Violence Escalates with a Narcissist: What Happens When You Call the Police

Living with a narcissist can often feel like walking on eggshells, never knowing when a situation might escalate into something dangerous. While many narcissists excel in psychological manipulation, some can also resort to physical violence when their fragile egos are threatened. When faced with such a situation, calling the police can be a necessary and […]

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The Difference between a Strong Ego, Weak Ego, and Big Ego

The term “ego” has gotten a bad rep, but in fact, having a strong ego indicates mental health in contrast to a weak or big ego. In Freud’s structural model of the psyche, “I” was translated to the Latin, “ego.” Unlike the primitive “id” seen in infants, the ego develops in stages and represents the […]

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When Your Relationship ‘feels like home’ Even Though Home Hurts

We all know that ‘click’ when we connect with that special someone, our heart races, we lean into whatever they are saying, we can’t wait to see them again. Attraction in adulthood is the activation of our earliest attachment patterns. It’s like our body saying ‘I know how to be the corresponding puzzle piece to this person’. […]

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Fueling the Fire: Why Confronting a Narcissist Doesn’t Usually Work

If you’ve been hurt by a narcissist, you’ve likely daydreamed about confronting them directly about their toxic behavior. Imagining finally speaking your truth and holding them accountable is satisfying. But in reality, confronting a narcissist often backfires. Their core traits make them unable to self-reflect, empathize, and hear feedback. Chances are, if you’ve tried calling […]

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The Agony of Disbelief: When Truth-Tellers are Silenced and Discredited

“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.” ~ Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence — From Domestic Abuse […]

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The Cycle of Narcissistic Relationships

Relationships with narcissists often go through a painful cycle that is a predictable outgrowth of narcissistic personality disorder. Central to understanding a narcissist’s behavior is that their relationships are transactional. Their impaired boundaries and lack of empathy prevent them from seeing other people as separate three-dimensional beings with needs and feelings of their own. Thus, […]

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Vindictive Narcissism: A Primer in Malicious Acts of Cruelty

Contemplating revenge or retaliating against those who have wronged us is bound to seep into consciousness at some point in life. After all, managing hurt and conflict by imagining avenging scenarios is a natural, albeit primitive aggressive impulse. The more disregulated and enraged one is, the more likely these spiteful fantasies will take on an obsessive […]

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Is Your Marriage a Relationship or an Emotional Hostage Situation?

It is generally assumed that marriage is based on a loving, committed relationship between two people who mutually strive to keep it strong and healthy. Everyone anticipates, upon entering a marriage contract, that there will be ups and downs. Everyone knows that disagreements are bound to happen. With the love and commitment two married people […]

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Dealing With An Abuser Or Narcissist

Narcissists are antagonistic and selfish and can be abusive. Dealing with a narcissist is challenging.  Whether the relationship is with a parent, sibling, or lover, love may feel out of reach. Do you feel emotionally abandoned or abused, vacillate between hope and pain, love and resentment, and staying or cutting off contact? Living together breeds […]

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