You know what I’ve never heard? Someone saying about their narcissistic ex, “They just got better and better over time!” I’ve never heard it and you’ve never heard it because it’s not true. Narcissists don’t get better, they don’t improve. This is a fact, basic science, aka Shit We Know to be True. Like other […]
Read MoreIs It Love or Love Bombing?
Human beings have an innate desire for love and belonging. We want to know that someone else thinks the world of us and would love to spend their time and life with us. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as it’s how we are made. However, that NEED for love can be used as a […]
Read MoreThe 4 Truths About Narcissists You Need To Know
Especially if you’re trying to heal after a relationship with one Everyone makes mistakes. All people are inherently good. He/she didn’t mean to hurt me. He/she didn’t know what they were doing. In an ideal world, all of the above would be true. In an ideal world, every single human would be good at their […]
Read MoreYou’re Not Imagining It. Narcissistic Abuse Can Make You Sick.
You’ve been in survival mode for the longest time. Not really living. Not thriving. Just existing as if in a vacuum. Nothing they do or say surprises you anymore – if anything, it just propels you further into numbness. You know when you react, they will loop you into an endless cycle of conflict and […]
Read MoreNarcissist Holiday
Pathological envy is a trademark of the narcissistic personality, and they often love to display contempt toward others who are actually having a good time, because their own self-loathing does not allow them to feel emotions such as love or joy. Holidays in particular can trigger this type of personality because there is an expectation […]
Read MoreDehumanization: The Psychological and Sociological Practice of Destroying Others
On the heels of ending a long-term relationship with a malignant narcissist, Lauren vehemently and unceasingly blamed herself for ‘allowing’ him to sadistically debase her. Although she intellectually concurred with M. Scott Peck’s premise that genuine love is volitional, that true intimacy is contingent on honoring one another’s humanity and that another’s proclivity to abuse […]
Read MoreThe Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply
As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]
Read MorePlease Hoover Me, Narcissist. Why Aren’t They?
I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I feel sad for you, because I have hoped for the same thing so many times and it never ended well. I’ve had a crazy roller coaster ride of hoovers, so I’ll try my best to share my thoughts […]
Read MoreLove After Narcissistic Abuse: Sharing Real Intimacy After Being The Supply
My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma. Accordingly, having somehow managed to keep oneself glued […]
Read MoreTrauma Bonding is as Powerful as Heroin Addiction: Why It’s So Hard to Escape Toxic Relationships
Physically removing yourself is often not the most difficult part of getting out of a toxic relationship. What many people who have never been through it don’t realize is that once you’re out, an abuser’s voice remains in your head. Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, and staying out is even harder. […]
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