The Codependent False Self

Codependents don’t realize that they’re living from their false self. Because the false self isn’t real, you might feel anxious trying to be accepted by others or believe that they can see through you or are judging you. There’s an immediacy and aliveness in living authentically. It requires presence. Hence, depression and feeling disconnected are signs that you […]

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Losing Your Power in Narcissistic Relationships

The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. Narcissists put themselves first, and so do their partners. Due to their insecurities, they constantly scan their environments and monitor their interactions to see who’s on […]

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Dealing with High-Conflict People

Individuals who are aggressive thrive on provoking and escalating conflict. They’re usually domineering and try to control the conversation. They’re distrustful, reactive, highly defensive, intense, dogmatic, and often, though not always, loud. They’re not open to alternative points of view, but are more invested in enhancing their power at your expense than listening to your […]

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The Narcissistic Parent

A narcissistic parent behaves as they imagine themselves to be—the king or queen of the family, or someone whose activities are more important than being part of the family. As a child, your parents are your world until you’re able to leave home. Your survival and self-concept depend on them. A narcissistic parent can severely damage […]

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How Trauma Reactions Can Hi-Jack Your Life

When your nervous system has been primed by trauma, you can overreact to perceived “dangers” that aren’t life-threatening, like when your boss questions you or someone cuts in line in front of you. When you’re a trauma survivor, your defensive states can hi-jack your brain. Instead of helping you survive, trauma responses can become dysfunctional. […]

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Narcissists’ Dirty Little Secret

You won’t guess abusers’ dirty little secret – the one thing narcissists and abusers don’t want you to know. In fact, they find it so shameful that most of them won’t admit it even to themselves. They hide it behind their abuse and bluster, their braggadocio, and their arrogance. People are fooled by the narcissist’s […]

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Learning to Rise Again After Abuse – with Author Lilli Correll

Discover the concrete steps you can take to heal from the effects of abuse, presented by someone who understands all too well the courage and vulnerability it takes to heal. In the new book Resolve to Rise, Lilli Correll investigates fundamental reasons why it feels so hard to recover after deep suffering, and offers compelling […]

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Our Legal System Fails Domestic Violence Survivors

Some perpetrators learn quickly not to stop abusing, just to change tactics. Posted December 5, 2021 on Psychology Today By Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS Domestic violence rarely makes the list of favorite topics for most of us. Even within my millennial-infused social circle, where pop singers praise their therapists, and mental health tips from TikTok and […]

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How to Cultivate Presence

When you cultivate being present, people notice and pay attention. You nonverbally communicate your self-worth, that you matter and expect to be respected. You gain presence that conveys self-acceptance. It enables you to be open and confident. Openness requires self-esteem that provides courage and allows you to be authentic and take risks. You’re not interested in hiding […]

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