Though powerless over an alcoholic-addict’s ultimate behavior, we can influence them to get addiction treatment using CRAFT. It’s a Community Reinforcement and Family Training program for addiction treatment developed in the 70s that has been effective in training “Concerned Significant Others” (CSO)s of treatment-resistant substance abusers to start treatment. The program has been more than […]
Read MoreIf a tornado snapped all the trees in the woods but no one saw it, guess what? It still happened. You’re not crazy. Like a tornado passing in the night, you don’t always see narcissistic abuse while it’s happening. What you CAN see, once it’s gone and the light dawns, is the trail of destruction: […]
Read MoreAbusers are long known for victim-blaming, because they never want to take responsibility. More recently a research psychologist Jennifer Joy Freyd gave this a name: DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. This is more than either “playing the victim” or victim-blaming, which we’re all capable of when conversations are misunderstood or not heard or remembered. Examples […]
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Codependents don’t realize that they’re living from their false self. Because the false self isn’t real, you might feel anxious trying to be accepted by others or believe that they can see through you or are judging you. There’s an immediacy and aliveness in living authentically. It requires presence. Hence, depression and feeling disconnected are signs that you […]
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The core problem in narcissistic relationships is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. Narcissists put themselves first, and so do their partners. Due to their insecurities, they constantly scan their environments and monitor their interactions to see who’s on […]
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Individuals who are aggressive thrive on provoking and escalating conflict. They’re usually domineering and try to control the conversation. They’re distrustful, reactive, highly defensive, intense, dogmatic, and often, though not always, loud. They’re not open to alternative points of view, but are more invested in enhancing their power at your expense than listening to your […]
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A narcissistic parent behaves as they imagine themselves to be—the king or queen of the family, or someone whose activities are more important than being part of the family. As a child, your parents are your world until you’re able to leave home. Your survival and self-concept depend on them. A narcissistic parent can severely damage […]
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When your nervous system has been primed by trauma, you can overreact to perceived “dangers” that aren’t life-threatening, like when your boss questions you or someone cuts in line in front of you. When you’re a trauma survivor, your defensive states can hi-jack your brain. Instead of helping you survive, trauma responses can become dysfunctional. […]
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You won’t guess abusers’ dirty little secret – the one thing narcissists and abusers don’t want you to know. In fact, they find it so shameful that most of them won’t admit it even to themselves. They hide it behind their abuse and bluster, their braggadocio, and their arrogance. People are fooled by the narcissist’s […]
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Discover the concrete steps you can take to heal from the effects of abuse, presented by someone who understands all too well the courage and vulnerability it takes to heal. In the new book Resolve to Rise, Lilli Correll investigates fundamental reasons why it feels so hard to recover after deep suffering, and offers compelling […]
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