“Shoulds”:  The Love Language of the Narcissist

Thank you Alisa Stamps for submitting another wonderful article! In Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages:  How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, he outlines the ways that individuals experience and express love.  He suggests that to “discover another person’s love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and […]

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10 Tips to Survive the Holidays with A Toxic Family

Thank you to Amy Marlow for sharing this great article with us! Ah, the holidays: The scents of roasted turkey, apple pie, and Christmas cookies filling the air. Snuggling up in a cozy blanket, gazing dreamily into the flickering fireplace as you sip on a hot apple cider or decadent eggnog. Pretty lights, rich and […]

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Is a Gray Rock Strategy Advisable?

Thank you Darlene Lancer for another great article! One strategy for dealing with a narcissist or sociopath is to act like a “gray rock,” meaning that you become uninteresting and unresponsive. You don’t feed their needs for drama or attention. You don’t show emotion, say anything interesting, or disclose any personal information. Nor do you […]

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The Startling Reason We Sabotage Love

Thank you Darlene Lancer for another great article! Most relationships fail and nearly half of American adults are unmarried. Why can’t we find love and why don’t relationships last? Paradoxically, as much as we want love, we also fear it. Fear of not being loved is the greatest reason we don’t find love and sabotage […]

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How I Recovered from Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome

Thank you Sherri Heller for sharing another great article! Mom’s stealth narcissism was obscured by her schizophrenia. Dad was more blatantly sadistic and malignant, yet he seemed to be the saner of the two. I can say now they were both comparably deranged, just in different ways. Life is so much clearer in hindsight. By […]

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Boundaries: A Narcissist’s Scorched Earth

Thank you Alisa Stamps for sharing this great article! “Scorched Earth is a military strategy used by a people when the enemy is advancing on their territory. Anything of use to the enemy such as houses, food, vehicles, utilities or equipment is burnt, leaving nothing which could help the enemy sustain their assault” (Simon, 2016, […]

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Has your parent ever given you the silent treatment?

A big thank you to Mel Crowe for this great article!   Have they done it a few times? Do they do it whenever there’s been an argument or disagreement, which means that instead of talking things through, clearing the air, reaching a compromise, or apologizing, they stop talking to you for a few hours, […]

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My Shame Experience

Another great article thanks to Darlene Lancer!   Sprawled on the hallway floor, skirt flying, hitting and kicking, I wrestled with Tina before a crowd of junior high school schoolmates, including a dozen boys from my class. Tina was a gang member who had recently transferred from another school. She and her cohorts had taunted […]

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Can Narcissism Be Healthy? Does It Differ from Self-Love?

Thank you Darlene Lancer, another great article!   “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance,” wrote Oscar Wilde. Known for his wit and irony, was Wilde referring to narcissism or real self-love? There is a difference. His use of the word “romance” suggests the former. That’s a key to differentiate the two […]

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