Does Couples Therapy Work with Narcissists?

All relationships have conflict. Every relationship has areas of difficulty. There will be some form of disagreement and hurt in every relationship. What determines a successful relationship is the willingness and commitment of each partner to find resolutions they can agree on. Agreements often involve compromise. Compromise requires flexibility and options. It does not involve […]

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The Winter Solstice — Christmas As A Time of Spiritual Rebirth

December 22 marks the beginning of rebirth — following the year’s shortest day. The winter solstice, since ancient times, represented symbolically the death and rebirth of the Sun, marked by a festive holiday on December 25th, Saturnalia, honoring the pagan sun god. This day came to be Christmas marking the birth of Jesus, who represented […]

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The Holiday Hoover

An opportune time to troll for supply. Holiday expectations can be challenging. Living up to the idyllic narrative of collective bonding and celebrations in which people everywhere are supposedly experiencing holiday rituals and get-togethers that foster well-being and intimacy can be anxiety-producing. For many folks, the seasonal lure of promised pleasure, coupled with the glitz […]

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9 Tips for Coping with Holiday Depression and Stress

The stress of the holidays triggers sadness and depression for many people. This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. People compare their emotions to what they assume others are experiencing or what they’re supposed to feel and then think that they alone fall short. They judge themselves and […]

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How to Feel Grateful When You Don’t

The expectation of feeling grateful can be challenging when we’re struggling with loneliness or relationship, work or health problems. It can be even harder to have gratitude around holidays when we see other people happily celebrating. When you’re discouraged or weighed down with negative thoughts, there are several things you can do. Why Gratitude Can […]

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Complex Grief and Trauma In Toxic Relationships

We can’t talk about narcissistic emotional abuse without talking about grief and trauma. Both of these will come up in your recovery. Each individual has their own unique losses to assess and to grieve if it becomes necessary to leave the relationship. Some of these may include: loss of a dream loss of an intact […]

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The Narcissist’s Spouse: Understanding Primary Supply

As a complex trauma therapist who specializes in treating trauma incurred through narcissistic abuse, I encounter many spouses desperate to escape from the perfidious torment of marriage to a malignant narcissist. Similarly, I work with adult children of mothers and fathers who embody malignant narcissistic traits or fit the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Narcissistic Personality […]

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Signs of Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. They both build and reflect self-esteem. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of individuating and becoming an individual and autonomous person. Boundaries are learned in childhood. Some dysfunctional families are enmeshed and your individuality and boundaries are ignored or openly disrespected in words or […]

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Recognizing An Emotional Abuser

The truth is you may not recognize him or her at first because they will work overtime to make you feel like you are the answer to their prayers.  They will make you feel like you are one in a million, larger than life, and floating on cloud 9 in an intense love affair.  They […]

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