Our Codependant core beliefs - Narcissists can see...

Now that I better understand what a narcissist is and have looked back on three relationships in my life I am at a much better place to understand what made me an easy victim of narcissistic abuse, and to share my tips for healing with you.

We all have core beliefs about ourselves. Sadly the things we have been telling yourself is not serving you any longer. How do you change the recordings in your head. What IS a recording in your head? Some might be I am fat – I am unloveable – I am not smart… this website might help you prove to yourself you are loveable, you are worthy and you are perfect just the way you are.

According to Wikipedia, Codependency is defined as “A type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.”

Narcissists and Codependents commonly end up together and it’s not that hard to see why. A Narcissist puts themselves first before anyone else, always they are the most important regardless of what is going on. On the other side of the spectrum a Codependent will put others before themselves. This is fuel to the Narcissist and gives the codependent a false sense of identity. This “dance” between codependents and narcissists can be very destructive and is almost always toxic. If any of this sounds familiar to you, it is important that you learn to recognize what part you play in this destructive dance and what you can do to protect yourself in the future.

Taking a mirror to the codependent many common behavioral traits include:

  • A sense of responsibility to others that is exaggerated and excessive.
  • Confusing love and pity, having a sense of love for those they pity and feel they could help.
  • Difficulty making decisions.
  • Fear of being alone or abandoned by others.
  • A need for recognition and approval from others.
  • End up doing more than their share.
  • Becoming hurt when others don’t recognize their efforts.
  • Etc.

Much of what is discussed on Narcissist Abuse Support relates directly to the codependent and can aid you in recovery. Additional resources are available and listed on the site, so don’t be afraid to reach out and gain extra help if you are struggling. We are all in this together and more than happy to help!

My journey, my story with a warning and solution.

– Tracy A. Malone