Back from Australia lieselle has taken some time to chat with me about how forgiveness changed our lives.
She’s back. She’s here from Australia. For those of you who do not know the connection between us, maybe you’ve seen some of our videos, Lieselle and I dated the same person at the same time.
Lieselle: He’s actually, he’s not really ‘a person’, he’s actually a person, but you know that’s just stress.
Tracy: We call him He Who Shall Not Be Named, after so therefore no name, there we’re going. So we have been away. She lives in Australia and she’s back now for few days. She got to come to my meet up the other day when we talked about forgiveness.
Lieselle: Yeah, I watched Tracy’s video on forgiveness and if you haven’t watched it yet, I’m sure she’s going to put a link to the one before this one in this video. It struck me as I was listening to her speaking about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive, not for anyone else other than yourself, it also struck me that probably the biggest question people may have around forgiveness is, “How do I do that?”, because even if you are aware that you are caring, perhaps resentment or anger or pain caused by circumstances and life and other people, and you want to get rid of it, sometimes the most difficult part is you just don’t know how to. So we were discussing, perhaps, different techniques that you could take to do that and then if you want to add anything here. But there is one simple one that I was explaining to Tracy that I feel has helped me a lot. And, of course, as you can probably imagine, our relationship would not be this good if it was not for the fact of forgiveness. If that would was not more than a word in our experience, we wouldn’t be standing here right now because we had trouble between us. There was a lot of trouble.
Tracy: Triangulation if you must know, right? Triangulation.
Lieselle: Yeah. So for us that’s an important word, more than a word, it’s an action. I think the first step towards forgiveness is acknowledging that you carry something that you no longer wish to carry and that you’d like to give it away, or that you don’t want to live with that feeling anymore. Acknowledgement is key. The second part of that is setting your intention. Setting intention, “I don’t want to carry this anymore. How do I do that?”, and make yourself open for people showing up in your life that will give you the answers to that. But one thing that I do that I find very useful is I have a very active mind, essentially a lot of people do, but that sometimes gets me into a lot of trouble because if I follow a pathway in my mind I can make myself quite angry or sad, if I relive events I can go down some emotional path that is now in no way relevant to where I am right now. So what I do when I find myself doing that and when I feel a bit of bubble of anger, or fear, or pain, I just bring myself back to my breath, and it’s just acknowledging that I’m still alive, for one, and acknowledging that I’m in a space that is very different to the one that I’m thinking about. So if you can imagine that wherever you are right now is whatever you’re thinking about is actually happening in front of you right now. If it’s not, stop, take a nice deep breath, bring yourself back to the space over here when everything is okay, and again reset your intention about wanting to release that pain that you carry. Another good way of using your breath is to, in the morning when you wake up, is to breathe in all that is good around you at the moment. Breathe in everything that is good and imagine yourself exhaling the feeling that you have in your body, whether it’s be sitting here– I carry a lot of my stuff I keep going here and I’m sure you noticed that, but that’s where I carry my nervous tension. A lot of people do. A lot of people carry anxiety and nervousness around this area, yeah. So even if you sit in this position all day you can feel it’s sitting so breathe in, breathe in to that area even if it’s uncomfortable, and then imagine yourself exhaling that pain ash. Even if you have to do that fifty times a day, I mean, you’re breathing anyway hopefully. So even if you are doing– even if it’s fifty times a day that you have to stop and remind yourself, you know what, it will become less and less that you have to do that. Bring yourself back to this moment, right here, right now, and breathe in and breathe out what you’re experiencing if it’s not pleasant to you.
Tracy: That’s one of the things that we talked about after I recorded my movie the other day and in that– A long time ago, I was taught how to ground myself and then when I met her, she taught me how to ground myself and really get into that breathing. To refine having a panic attack, an anxiety attack, I’m afraid there’s something inside of me that isn’t right about this moment and I used to listen to this guy, and I wish i could remember his name. He has a Fear of video series. He’s like the world’s biggest fear expert and he’s talking about two different types of fear, fear is that a dog might bite you or you might get stung by a bee, and the other kind of fear is you just got stung by the bee and how is that going to affect you. That is different than the perceived fear by might getting bitten my a bee, so we have to look at that little tiny thing when we’re going back and we’re looking at this and thinking about why and as we’re sitting here and trying to breathe it out, think about, “Is that the perceived fear, or is someone banging on my front door right now?”
Lieselle: What that reminds me of is the movie, if any of you seen the movie, Clear and Present Danger. If it is not clear and present danger you can let them go right now because it’s either then in the past or it’s in the future, and none of that is relevant to you right now. This is right now to you right now. So if there’s something that’s endangering you in this moment, sure, you have all the equipment to deal with it, but you don’t need to be doing anything about that or about that in the timeline you’re in the here and then now.
Tracy: It’s been many years since I’ve seen this lovely woman and I call her sister and the fact that dating the same person that we believe and we see, some tendency is, for that Name I’m not going to say here, because he’s probably stalking us, but we– because we we’re united through that, and we heal together. It was the most amazing healing that we got because we were able to compare how someone masks themselves, how someone changes and morphs himself into what she wanted versus what I wanted, and we have a unique perspective on this whole thing but–
Lieselle: We too. Yes, and I would also say that the gift that forgiveness gave me and the gift that forgiveness gave Tracy was our friendship. So we’ve got a gift out of that and there’s a gift that you can get from your forgiveness. Even if it’s just being able to breathe a little easier, there’s a gift in forgiving. Nobody says it’s easy. It’s not easy.
Tracy: No.
Lieselle: There’s work we’ve done with everything, right? It’s not going to be necessarily easy but when you start with the intention that you want to have it happen, that’s the first step on your road toward it.
Tracy: And another thing, if you didn’t watch my other forgiveness movie that I just made the other day, forgiveness is not condoning what they did. You are under no obligation and take that out of the word forgiveness. This is not saying, “It’s okay. Whether that there’s any retribution that will come.”. You’re just saying that you can’t change the past but if you hold on to this you will be changed in the future. So keep that in mind.
Lieselle: Yeah. Both ways, if you hold on to it or if you let go of it, you have the choice here. It’s your decision.
Tracy: Yeah. We have to go to a party now.
Lieselle: Yay~
Tracy: So, this is Tracy. That’s all I got. Subscribe to my mailing list if you haven’t yet. We’ve got her for two more days and if you all leave a lot of comments she’ll do another meeting with me.
Lieselle: Sure , sure, absolutely. Love to do one.
Tracy: Alright. So, thank you!
Lieselle: See you guys.
