BUY DIVORCING YOUR NARCISSIST BOOK HERE
Narcissist Abuse Support
  • Start here
    • What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
    • Who Are These Narcissists?
    • Stages of Narcissistic Abuse
    • Narc Speak
    • What is NPD?
    • How It Feels To A Victim
    • Early Warning Signs of Abuse
    • Traits of Supply
    • Stages of Recovery
    • Types of Abuse
    • Why do people stay?
    • Symptoms of PTSD
  • Red Flags
    • Personality Traits
      • Fantasies of Unlimited Power
      • Believe They Should Associate with Special People
      • Sense of Entitlement
      • Lacks Empathy
      • Arrogant/Patronizing
      • Charming
      • Chronic Lying
    • Idealize
      • Love Bombing
      • Rushing Intimacy
      • Soul Mate Scam
      • Mirroring
      • Friends Love/Hate Them
      • Narcissists Are Actors
      • Narcissist Masks
      • Inappropriate Emotions
      • Use Guilt & Pity Ploys
    • Devalue
      • Have Feeling Something is Off
      • Crazy People in Their Past
      • Reckless Impulsive Behavior
      • No Regard for Rules or Laws
      • Pattern of Instability
      • Control vacations/parties?
      • Triangulation
      • Gaslighting
      • No Accountability
      • Degrade/Humiliate You
      • Behavior Never Changes
      • Poor Financial Management
      • Fragmented Relationships
    • Discard
      • Cheating
      • Never Apologizes
      • Hoovering
      • Smear Campaigns
      • Stalking
      • What are Flying Monkeys?
      • You Feel You Might Be in Danger
      • No Contact
      • The Grand Finale
    • What Are Green Flags
      • Why You?
      • Why You Were Targeted
      • Learn Your Vulnerabilities
      • What Type Of Supply Are You
  • Who Is Your Narcissist
    • Covert Narcissist
    • Narcissistic Relationship
    • Divorcing a Narcissist
    • Co-parenting with a narcissist
    • Narcissistic Parent
    • Narcissistic Brother or Sister
    • Is your child a narcissist?
    • Narcissistic In-Laws
    • Narcissistic Daughter In-Law or Narcissistic Son In-Law
    • Narcissistic Friend
    • Narcissistic Co-Worker
    • How To Help A Friend
  • Coaching
    • Coaching
    • Online Groups
    • Online Workshops
      • Learn To Create a Narc-Proof Parenting Plan
      • Plan Your Exit With A Leaving Plan
      • Stop Attracting Narcissists Workshop
      • Learn To Set Boundaries
      • Learn To Set Up Your Own Support Group
  • Resources
    • Narcissistic Abuse Resources
    • Divorcing Your Narcissist Resources
    • Targeted Healing Journals
    • My Story Of Narcissistic Abuse Journal
    • Get Help – surTHRIVER™ Store
  • Learn More
    • Blog
    • YouTube Channel
    • Free Narcissist Abuse Quotes
    • Podcast
    • Newsletter Signup
    • Who Are We?
    • Contact

Inspirational conversations to change your life

UNDERSTANDING FEAR & YOUR INTUITION

Gavin DeBecker is a world-renowned expert when it comes to understanding fear. His book, The Gift Of Fear , has been influential to facilitate the way we look at situations to understand the dangers associated with them. I am sharing my favorite video of his as it intuitively taps into the fears we all face. He has given hundreds of moving interviews, including on Oprah. This video, in particular, includes content that you need to hear: it is all about listening to your intuition – something we all should continue to improve upon whenever the opportunity arises.

ADDITIONAL FEAR KNOWLEDGE

If this topic resonates with you, I strongly recommend the book, Feel The Fear and do it anyway , by Susan Jeffers. It was a major contributor to my recovery when I needed solid information.

HOW WILL YOU EVER TRUST AGAIN?

Almost daily, I have at least one client profess that they don’t know how they will ever trust again. I understand that fear and have felt its crippling effect – you feel that your entire world is untrustworthy which is brought on by self-blame that is nearly impossible to break free from on your own.

HOW DO YOU TRUST SOMEONE?

Most of my clients are like me: we have no criteria for HOW to trust someone. If someone is a mutual friend or a successful person, we blindly give them the trust we assume they deserve. Unfortunately, this is so far from the truth in many cases.

Being raised in a narcissistic home, I never learned boundaries or any standards for trust. Every member of my family abused me to some degree yet I was constantly told that I MUST trust them because they were family. This set the bar very low for me and I am now aware that these circumstances constitute a huge piece in my life that made me vulnerable to future abuses by narcissists.

Once I started my recovery, I learned that it was critical to honor and trust myself … and then I found Brene Brown’s video. Brene is an honest and brilliant shame researcher, author, and one of my heroes for her bravery and in this video, she gives us the word we need for our toolbox to implement those unspoken rules of trust: BRAVING.

BRAVING:

B – Boundaries
R – Reliability
A – Accountability
V – Vault
I – Integrity
N – Non-judgment
G – Generosity

This video will give you the strength and knowledge to change your perspective so you can trust again.

HOW DO YOU FIND THE COURAGE TO GO ON?

After a person has endured an abusive relationship, it is easy to just give up – the pain can be too much to bear. Anger, sadness, and hopelessness take over day-to-day living and there does not appear to be a way out. I get it, I’ve been there. Things suddenly began to change for me when I started doing what I needed to do to heal. I had been binge-watching videos about narcissists and I got the validation I was searching for when I watched someone share their story. It was so similar to mine and that was the moment I realized that I had not allowed myself to move forward. I was living in the past as a victim of abusers. I turned my attention from the information about narcissists to what I needed to do to care for the wounds I knew I had. I did the work to heal those wounds but I found myself needing an injection of courage, over and over. That was when I found this TedX talk.

When you watch this video, listen for her to say “10 seconds of courage.” Believe it or not, that is all it takes – 10 quick seconds – whether it’s to get away or to heal. If you are struggling to find the courage to go on, this phrase will ring in your ears every time going forward when you need to muster up that courage! Our mind can play tricks on us but we also can use it to our advantage. Knowledge is power and a mind is a powerful tool – combined, the possibilities are endless.

Narcissist Abuse Support

Boulder,
CO 
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