UNDERSTANDING FEAR & YOUR INTUITION

Gavin DeBecker is a world-renowned expert when it comes to understanding fear. His book, The Gift Of Fear , has been influential to facilitate the way we look at situations to understand the dangers associated with them. I am sharing my favorite video of his as it intuitively taps into the fears we all face. He has given hundreds of moving interviews, including on Oprah. This video, in particular, includes content that you need to hear: it is all about listening to your intuition – something we all should continue to improve upon whenever the opportunity arises.

ADDITIONAL FEAR KNOWLEDGE

If this topic resonates with you, I strongly recommend the book, Feel The Fear and do it anyway , by Susan Jeffers. It was a major contributor to my recovery when I needed solid information.

HOW WILL YOU EVER TRUST AGAIN?

Almost daily, I have at least one client profess that they don’t know how they will ever trust again. I understand that fear and have felt its crippling effect – you feel that your entire world is untrustworthy which is brought on by self-blame that is nearly impossible to break free from on your own.

HOW DO YOU TRUST SOMEONE?

Most of my clients are like me: we have no criteria for HOW to trust someone. If someone is a mutual friend or a successful person, we blindly give them the trust we assume they deserve. Unfortunately, this is so far from the truth in many cases.

Being raised in a narcissistic home, I never learned boundaries or any standards for trust. Every member of my family abused me to some degree yet I was constantly told that I MUST trust them because they were family. This set the bar very low for me and I am now aware that these circumstances constitute a huge piece in my life that made me vulnerable to future abuses by narcissists.

Once I started my recovery, I learned that it was critical to honor and trust myself … and then I found Brene Brown’s video. Brene is an honest and brilliant shame researcher, author, and one of my heroes for her bravery and in this video, she gives us the word we need for our toolbox to implement those unspoken rules of trust: BRAVING.

BRAVING:

B – Boundaries
R – Reliability
A – Accountability
V – Vault
I – Integrity
N – Non-judgment
G – Generosity

This video will give you the strength and knowledge to change your perspective so you can trust again.

HOW DO YOU FIND THE COURAGE TO GO ON?

After a person has endured an abusive relationship, it is easy to just give up – the pain can be too much to bear. Anger, sadness, and hopelessness take over day-to-day living and there does not appear to be a way out. I get it, I’ve been there. Things suddenly began to change for me when I started doing what I needed to do to heal. I had been binge-watching videos about narcissists and I got the validation I was searching for when I watched someone share their story. It was so similar to mine and that was the moment I realized that I had not allowed myself to move forward. I was living in the past as a victim of abusers. I turned my attention from the information about narcissists to what I needed to do to care for the wounds I knew I had. I did the work to heal those wounds but I found myself needing an injection of courage, over and over. That was when I found this TedX talk.

When you watch this video, listen for her to say “10 seconds of courage.” Believe it or not, that is all it takes – 10 quick seconds – whether it’s to get away or to heal. If you are struggling to find the courage to go on, this phrase will ring in your ears every time going forward when you need to muster up that courage! Our mind can play tricks on us but we also can use it to our advantage. Knowledge is power and a mind is a powerful tool – combined, the possibilities are endless.