Intimate Partner Abuse and Divorce

Nearly half of all women in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner and almost twenty-five percent of all women have been the victim of severe physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. This is unacceptable and must change.

Many of these women have had their self-esteem eroded and have been traumatized and brainwashed by their abuser into a pattern of learned helplessness. This is a condition where someone has a sense of powerlessness over her own life and it is one of the underlying causes of depression. It is not her fault, but it is still her responsibility to take necessary action to protect themselves and their family and change their circumstances. She is the primary caregiver, and it is up to her to break the cycle of abuse. Many children of abusers either become victims of abuse as adults or abusers themselves because abuse is what they know and experience as normal behavior.

After a very contentious and protracted divorce, I wanted to give meaning to my life and what I had been through. Realizing that I had a unique skill set as a financial advisor who was abused, I decided to provide information and resources I wish I had during my own divorce to other abused women. In this pursuit, Breaking Bonds
was born, and what started as a website full of resources and articles developed into a comprehensive book to help other abused women who are contemplating or who have filed for divorce navigate a very difficult and potentially dangerous situation.

Because of my own personal experiences, I could offer them valuable insights by informing them of my good decisions as well as my mistakes. I also included a number of experiences of other women I knew. Some of their divorces did not involve abuse, but not one of them was amicable. I found that most divorce books are written by lawyers, the vast majority of whom are not experts in investments or taxes and whose clients frequently rely solely on their advice when making irreversible decisions.

Although there are plenty of books on healing after a divorce, my book is the only one available that is written specifically for the abused woman that gives her essential financial and legal information, stress reduction tools to get strong enough to deal with her abuser effectively, strategies to minimize the damage her abuser will try to inflict, and healing techniques to change her life for the better.

My comprehensive survival guide is now available for presale:

Breaking Bonds, How to Divorce an Abuser and Heal

Available to purchase onsite at and on Amazon.

For information about the Breaking Bonds online platform and me, please visit

–Rosemary Lombardy, founder of Breaking Bonds, a blog and resource hub for abused women, is a financial advisor with over thirty-five years of experience. Although her professional expertise is in financial matters, her perspective on marital abuse, divorce, and recovery is heartfelt and personal. She draws on decades of experience form her own marriage and from others.

Thank you Rosemary Lombardy for this great and informative article!

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