To a narcissist, divorce is a game of psychological warfare. To win at this game, history must be rewritten, making them into both the hero and the victim. Conspiracy levels of the game escalate with false allegations and accusations of everything they themselves have been doing. These are confusing because they seem to be tales of an alternate reality to what their life really was.

Divorcing someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, or any cluster B disorder, is worse than you could ever imagine. There will be an advanced level of vindictiveness that you have never seen before. The false allegations will come at you in rapid fire, most holding no more than a speck of truth. The person you were married to is gone, morphed into an evil stranger ready for war. The missiles are aimed at your heart – first to throw you into a downward spiral and then to attack everything you hold dear. They will isolate, smear, lie and stonewall. These are the weapons in this game.

A narcissist leaves the gate hurling elaborate false accusations, which immediately sends your team into defense mode. This is not only hard to recover from, but it also makes it more difficult to expose the truth about them. To defend against these attacks, you will need to uncover the smoking gun that will prove the lies. Evidence will be your savior in this game and your job will be to gather all the materials necessary to prove your veracity.

Throughout the process, a jarring lack of empathy will be executed with zero regard for the accompanying false claims and how they will affect you. Expect diversion tactics, false allegations, and downright hurtful behavior to knock you off your game so that even your self-preservation becomes unstable. At no other time will you see such a huge swing in emotional detachment away from you. There is no concern for you and, in their mind, they’re entitled to treat you as if you were a stranger and an enemy. And that is exactly what will happen.

The primary goal is to win; the win for them means you lose financially, emotionally, socially and parentally. A massive conspiracy theory will be created detailing the years of abuse they suffered at your hands: the bipolar, alcoholic, cheating, thieving, child abuser. When asked why they never spoke up before, it will be because you were too controlling, and they were afraid. Linguistic masters, they will very rarely be without the perfect response.

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Divorce Videos

Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell. But her journey wasn’t always easy. Married at 19 the first time, she had 3 children by the age of 23 and then was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, a college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally.

William A. (“Bill”) Eddy is a lawyer, therapist and mediator. He is the co-founder and Training Director of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. Bill provides training on the subject of high-conflict personalities to lawyers, mediators, judges, mental health professionals and others. He has presented in over 30 states and ten countries. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, with 12 years’ experience counseling children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. For the past 26 years, he has also been a lawyer, representing clients in family court (as a Certified Family Law Specialist) and providing divorce mediation services.

7 Common Financial Mistakes in Divorce – Stephanie Vokral and Tracy A Malone When we divorce a narcissist our financial future may depend on the financial decisions we agree to during the process. Today my guest Stephanie Vokral a financial divorce expert shares the 7 common mistakes and how to avoid them.

Susan Guthrie, recently named as a 2018 Top Attorney in the USA in the fields of Family Law and Mediation by Lawyers of Distinction, is a divorce innovation specialist focused on helping couples to divorce and separate in a respectful and efficient manner. In her almost 30 years of practice she has worked with thousands of individuals and families, helping them to navigate their way through the difficult process of divorce in order to move forward with their lives in the best way possible. Susan, along with her co-host, fellow top attorney Rebecca Zung, recently launched the iTunes Top 10 Podcast, Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast which provides a fresh perspective on the divorce process and is revolutionizing the conversation about divorce.

Getting divorced is different than other areas of the law. For example, in most civil trials, you get to choose whether you want your case decided by a jury. Not so in the family section of the courthouse. Instead of your case being judged by a panel of your “peers,” when you get divorced you get to have it heard and decided by one judge. Not members of the community who may sympathize or relate to your situation, not a panel of judges… it’s just one judge. It is this judge who not only presides and decides the trial, but he/she will be the judge for every hearing, motion and conference leading up to the trial. To put it in other words, your divorce judge will get to know you and your spouse from the moment the Complaint for Divorce is filed with the court until the trial, if there is one.

Divorce to a narcissist is a game – they play to win, they play the games of smearing you, isolating your support system, they will lie and withhold everything that is asked of them. All this while attacking you for dumb and unimportant pieces. Today my Guest Dr. Elizabeth Cohen and I discuss how to heal after a narcissistic divorce.