To a narcissist, divorce is a game of psychological warfare. To win at this game, history must be rewritten, making them into both the hero and the victim. Conspiracy levels of the game escalate with false allegations and accusations of everything they themselves have been doing. These are confusing because they seem to be tales of an alternate reality to what their life really was.
Divorcing someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, or any cluster B disorder, is worse than you could ever imagine. There will be an advanced level of vindictiveness that you have never seen before. The false allegations will come at you in rapid fire, most holding no more than a speck of truth. The person you were married to is gone, morphed into an evil stranger ready for war. The missiles are aimed at your heart – first to throw you into a downward spiral and then to attack everything you hold dear. They will isolate, smear, lie and stonewall. These are the weapons in this game.
A narcissist leaves the gate hurling elaborate false accusations, which immediately sends your team into defense mode. This is not only hard to recover from, but it also makes it more difficult to expose the truth about them. To defend against these attacks, you will need to uncover the smoking gun that will prove the lies. Evidence will be your savior in this game and your job will be to gather all the materials necessary to prove your veracity.
Throughout the process, a jarring lack of empathy will be executed with zero regard for the accompanying false claims and how they will affect you. Expect diversion tactics, false allegations, and downright hurtful behavior to knock you off your game so that even your self-preservation becomes unstable. At no other time will you see such a huge swing in emotional detachment away from you. There is no concern for you and, in their mind, they’re entitled to treat you as if you were a stranger and an enemy. And that is exactly what will happen.
The primary goal is to win; the win for them means you lose financially, emotionally, socially and parentally. A massive conspiracy theory will be created detailing the years of abuse they suffered at your hands: the bipolar, alcoholic, cheating, thieving, child abuser. When asked why they never spoke up before, it will be because you were too controlling, and they were afraid. Linguistic masters, they will very rarely be without the perfect response.
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