The acts of service. This they do to increase their public image and they tell everybody and everyone believes that they are wonderful.
They pretend that they have deep spiritual beliefs, yet they are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They don’t actually go to church. They don’t actually act like a Christian or whatever they are. They do things that are contradictory to saying they have deep spiritual beliefs.
Great stories. This means that they might have advance degrees. They might have great success but they lost a business. And it was someone else’s fault. So it is kind of like, you don’t really know who or what to believe because you want to believe them. And if you love them and they’ve got into that point, you believe what they are saying. But, start to look at the pieces and how they add together because if they say that they’ve done this, and they can’t do something that you would think would be part of that, they are probably lying.
They cheat, but they portray themselves as the best father, the best husband, someone who would never, ever, ever cheat. And that everyone else has cheated on them. It’s kind of funny how this is a recurring theme in a narcissist is that they all blame someone else for cheating on them.
They use other people story as their own. And these learned stories really don’t add up. So if you are smart, and you start to hear the story or something else that it is just not the right way, It is not the same as it was last time, A detail that might go unnoticed, start to notice those.
Money is one of the other common lies, that they are financially strong but they are not acting it. I do not want to go into details, but if they are saying this common lie, that they are financially secure, it is not true.
For narcissist, sex equals power and control. And that’s what they want from you. They are very happy to just get what they have selected you as for victim. And I know a lot of people that have had this experience and when a narc decides that they want you in their life for a supply for awhile, there is something that they want. If you are a therapist, they might need some for the mother of their children. If you have a business, they might need your help in support. If you are a great cook and a great entertainer, they might want to parade you around and have people think that they have this perfect life when in fact that’s only a part of their life. The rest of their life they’re off and maybe creating a different life. Remember in the days when there used to be people married to like three different people and no one never knew it? I am sure that those people are narcs. They live different lives. They live different stories and how they keep it straight, I don’t know. But that’s when the mask falls. That is the ticket for you. When they say something that doesn’t add up, think about it. Think about it and write it down. Keep a journal of all of these things that you are worried about. Because in the end when you pull that out, these red flags, these lies, these behaviors, are going to be part of the types of narcissist that are out there and if you are a victim once, if you are a victim twice, it is time for you to take care of you. In the same way, I am learning about me and I am learning about how to protect myself. I am learning about how to help others and I hope that I can help someone in my stories and my knowledge.