Today I am going to talk about Facebook and I’m calling it Facebombing. They really start when they love bomb you. And when they love bomb you, it’s in many different ways but of course when they love bomb you and connect to you on Facebook, what they are doing is putting out this public persona of goodness. They are suddenly liking everything that you post. They are engaging with your friends, and they are starting to make connections to your friends. By responding to comments that they make by creating their own conversations that your friends will interact with. And what I wanna remind you which is kinda too late now if you’re reading this, but it’s good know for the future, is that this kind of love bombing or as I’m calling it, Facebombing, is designed to build that persona of how wonderful they are. How much a part of your life they are, whether they are or they’re not. This is what they’re showing people by doing Facebook and being in a public eye like that to all your friends. So, it’s important to know that they are going to use this against you in the end. So what they’re doing is they’re actually collecting flying monkeys right from the get go. And the flying monkey is someone that their going to use against you later. They’re going to friend them, and they’re going to friend your family and your close friends. And as they engage, they’re gonna be building trust with your friends. Making them their friends. So that when you do breakup ultimately, they’ve already got these people lined up as their friends. And they’ve got a window into your world to see what you’re doing after the break up and after you have blocked them.
What I want to tell you is something that I have heard from so many people and so many friends and myself, is we all like to stalk the person that we’re not with anymore. It’s just like human nature. And staying connected is sort of your window into the world of what they’re doing. But let me tell you that it will probably cause you a lot more harm than good. I have a friend who recently broke up and she can be doing pretty darn good after a couple of months now. And then, as soon as she looks at something on Facebook, she loses it again. She gets so upset. And that is so common, right? We subject ourselves to this. If you were to block him or her, lock them out. And, not saying just hide them in your feed, so that you just could just peek every once in a while. I am talking about blocking. No more connections. you have the control to turn it on and to turn it off. I wouldn’t say go turning it on and off just so you could peek. But what it does when you block someone on Facebook, is it actually it blocks everything they’ve said. So if they’re interacting with your family, your children’s Facebook, you can be the next comment. And you wouldn’t even see that they have made a comment or a like or anything. They’re invisible. And that’s what you have to do. And when you’re cutting off your narcissist, it’s very hard, I know it’s hard to just say delete. But if you can find this strength to do that, and tell all your friends, all your family, anybody that you know that’s connected to them to disconnect. Go gray rock on Facebook.
Don’t let them stay connected. You know, if your child’s connected to your ex-person, then make them get off. Just say this is not appropriate and I don’t want them seeing your life. Because if your child puts a picture of you and him, then the narcissist has access to seeing that. They have access and just like you were triggered when you looked at their profile and you saw that they were you know, off on some tropical vacation, and it pissed you off, because they’re with their new supply, they’re gonna have a window into your world with Facebook. And Facebombing is the way they start. Then they recruit flying monkeys, they find out, they become friends with your friends, and then they use it against you. So, you have the control. This is something that is really hard to do but I can guarantee you if you’re really interested in healing, then you need to do this. Just block them and make sure everybody you know blocks them. And if you tell somebody, you ask a friend to block them or disconnect from them completely, and they don’t? Chances are that that person has alliances to your narc and that they could be a flying monkey. So, if they choose not to block your ex, I would say there’s a reason and maybe block that friend. Even if it’s temporary. You need to keep yourself protected. And the only way that you can do that when it comes to social media, is to go completely off of their social media.
I have a lot of friends that say “I won’t be on Facebook anymore at all.” “I’m not gonna do that.” But guess what, you’re hurting yourself. This is a time when you can turn to your friends and get support and get loved and feel good about relationships in your life. If you choose to just go off of Facebook, and you were a Facebook person before, who are you’re hurting? You’re hurting yourself. So, don’t cut off your connections. Don’t isolate yourself just because of them. Just freaking block them. It’s really not that hard. And, in that you will have so much more power to heal than you did before.
So, Facebombing, they’re going to like everything that you do, right? Did your narcs do this? In fact, I started noticing patterns of three ex’s love bombing other women for like a year. I was like, “Why do you like everything she said?” Why is it?” “Oh, she’s just a friend.” “Oh, she’s just whatever.” It doesn’t matter. It’s a pattern he did with you, it’s a pattern she’s going to do with someone else. Love bombing is really prevalent on Facebook and we have to know that this is their pattern. If they did it with you, they’re doing it with someone else. Guess what? They’re grooming them to be their next supply. And they’re just like, isn’t it wonderful when someone just comes along and starts liking everything and you’re just like, “Oh, he loves me.”, “Oh, she loves me.” “Oh, it’s so much fun.” Well, it’s fake. And they’re just building this fake persona. So, protect yourself and block them right now. Take the courage to do it. Go on there and block, block, block. And I promise you, you will not suffer additional injury by watching and having that window into what they’re doing. It’s only going to hurt you.