As victims of a narcissist we are totally confused and betrayed but holding onto the story is the hardest part to release – so my suggestion is to start changing the story in your head. I know this is something I still work on everyday but we must release it. You were a VICTIM – now what are you? Strong for surviving – yes!
Transcription:
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This is Tracy today. I
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Learned some things and I’d like to just record a few videos quick ones
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to share with you some of the notes that I took for my
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exciting Ted talks
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something about like clicked with me was
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Your story, right we all have one and we all have a reason that things have happened to us
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sometimes not our choice obviously
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but
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being in marketing for ears like you know nothing has been tell your story tell your story, but
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no one ever said
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You have the crayons you have the ability to tell yourself a different story
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there’s a great poet that spoke today and
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told the story of how he
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was
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when he was very young and in Elementary school
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they were doing some genealogy sort of find out about your tree and
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understand your Family’s history and
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He didn’t have any
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they couldn’t find any and
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he went home to his family and
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Yelled it up. He was in fourth Grade
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and he went home and yelled at them and said why didn’t you tell me I don’t have a family and
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What his grandmother said was?
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things like
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What kind of ice cream? Do you like?
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Like what does that have to do with me not knowing who I am everyone else has family and they know what they are
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And she said what kind of dinosaur would you be if you could be a dinosaur?
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And he picked a velociraptor
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Yes on all these questions that he has no idea what they meant his fourth grade
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but
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Because he had no histories. He was able to write his own. He was able to write what he believed
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And what he wanted to say to people
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And I think when we’re dealing with a narcissist when we’re dealing with abuse when we’re dealing with
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Painful situations in our life we so often get caught in this story
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we get so sick of listening to it get so sick telling it because
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it’s victim speak and
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After a while no one wants to hear it, and that’s discouraging all by itself to write we
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Just want to be acknowledged. We want someone to give us a cure
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But here’s a cure
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write the story
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Stop telling yourself. The same stories and rewrite it take a crayon and write something else
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What would you be if you have anything right now?
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What’s your story?
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Like about what you do to make yourself happy
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When’s the last time that you did something that makes you happy I?
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Didn’t realize that
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when I got divorced I
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Stopped doing everything that I loved to do
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Because I was a victim. I was somebody that had had things happen to her and I
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Stopped making dinners. I stopped having dinner first. I love to cook. I love to entertain and I just stopped I
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Stopped being a photographer. I used to take pictures all the time
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I’ve had many of my pictures published
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But I stopped I stopped the interests I became a very hard work holic
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Because I was in the survival mode I worked till 1:00 in the morning
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five days a week and
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Every single weekend, I still had fun. I still did things I still talk classes. I still went to things with my friends
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but I stopped doing what made me happy and
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I think that’s key for us is to understand and write it down
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Makes you happy what you like to do. Do you like to hike get out there and clear your head and hike?
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like to Ride your bike just
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do it
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Which is so often forget what we want and what our passions are?
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because we get roped into this story the story of
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Betrayal Anger and hurt and
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Victim speak right, I’m not saying that we aren’t victims. I’m telling you to tell yourself a different story
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Because we have the crayons which I had a prop of a crayon to show you right now
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I just thought of that I could have a V-8
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but we have the power and
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Just like that amazing poet today. Who had no story no
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Genealogy tree, and his grandmother just said be as a loss or after
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Your favorite ice-cream be a mountain be whatever you want to be
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You write the story?
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What has happened yesterday is the past we cannot do anything about that?
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but in this moment just
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like in that moment when I sat there that Tedx talk surrounded by Fear I
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Told myself. I’m okay. I’m okay right now
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Why sit here and worry about it? Why not just be in the moment and enjoy a magical day
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