As victims of a narcissist we are totally confused and betrayed but holding onto the story is the hardest part to release – so my suggestion is to start changing the story in your head. I know this is something I still work on everyday but we must release it. You were a VICTIM – now what are you? Strong for surviving – yes!
This is Tracy today. I
Learned some things and I’d like to just record a few videos quick ones
to share with you some of the notes that I took for my
exciting Ted talks
something about like clicked with me was
Your story, right we all have one and we all have a reason that things have happened to us
sometimes not our choice obviously
being in marketing for ears like you know nothing has been tell your story tell your story, but
no one ever said
You have the crayons you have the ability to tell yourself a different story
there’s a great poet that spoke today and
told the story of how he
when he was very young and in Elementary school
they were doing some genealogy sort of find out about your tree and
understand your Family’s history and
He didn’t have any
they couldn’t find any and
he went home to his family and
Yelled it up. He was in fourth Grade
and he went home and yelled at them and said why didn’t you tell me I don’t have a family and
What his grandmother said was?
What kind of ice cream? Do you like?
Like what does that have to do with me not knowing who I am everyone else has family and they know what they are
And she said what kind of dinosaur would you be if you could be a dinosaur?
And he picked a velociraptor
Yes on all these questions that he has no idea what they meant his fourth grade
Because he had no histories. He was able to write his own. He was able to write what he believed
And what he wanted to say to people
And I think when we’re dealing with a narcissist when we’re dealing with abuse when we’re dealing with
Painful situations in our life we so often get caught in this story
we get so sick of listening to it get so sick telling it because
it’s victim speak and
After a while no one wants to hear it, and that’s discouraging all by itself to write we
Just want to be acknowledged. We want someone to give us a cure
But here’s a cure
write the story
Stop telling yourself. The same stories and rewrite it take a crayon and write something else
What would you be if you have anything right now?
What’s your story?
Like about what you do to make yourself happy
When’s the last time that you did something that makes you happy I?
Didn’t realize that
when I got divorced I
Stopped doing everything that I loved to do
Because I was a victim. I was somebody that had had things happen to her and I
Stopped making dinners. I stopped having dinner first. I love to cook. I love to entertain and I just stopped I
Stopped being a photographer. I used to take pictures all the time
I’ve had many of my pictures published
But I stopped I stopped the interests I became a very hard work holic
Because I was in the survival mode I worked till 1:00 in the morning
five days a week and
Every single weekend, I still had fun. I still did things I still talk classes. I still went to things with my friends
but I stopped doing what made me happy and
I think that’s key for us is to understand and write it down
Makes you happy what you like to do. Do you like to hike get out there and clear your head and hike?
like to Ride your bike just
Which is so often forget what we want and what our passions are?
because we get roped into this story the story of
Betrayal Anger and hurt and
Victim speak right, I’m not saying that we aren’t victims. I’m telling you to tell yourself a different story
Because we have the crayons which I had a prop of a crayon to show you right now
I just thought of that I could have a V-8
but we have the power and
Just like that amazing poet today. Who had no story no
Genealogy tree, and his grandmother just said be as a loss or after
Your favorite ice-cream be a mountain be whatever you want to be
You write the story?
What has happened yesterday is the past we cannot do anything about that?
but in this moment just
like in that moment when I sat there that Tedx talk surrounded by Fear I
Told myself. I’m okay. I’m okay right now
Why sit here and worry about it? Why not just be in the moment and enjoy a magical day