Classic Gaslighting real story

Subscribe in a reader

When we have a co-worker that seems to be willing to do anything to get ahead they get labeled ladder climbers. Narcissists at work do far more than that to destroy anyone that no longer supports them.

This week a friend told me a story about her co-worker that I could see the classic gaslighting that went on.

 

Transcription:

0:00:10.780,0:00:13.170
Hi there this is Tracy and I am

0:00:13.690,0:00:19.410
Driving, but I thought I would discuss something that a friend of mine, and I were talking about yesterday

0:00:19.840,0:00:22.559
She had someone at work that

0:00:23.500,0:00:25.500
Clearly to me

0:00:26.020,0:00:28.919
he had a lot of narcissistic things to her and

0:00:30.100,0:00:34.889
My friend has never experienced this and while she’s lived through

0:00:35.890,0:00:37.919
My dramas with me

0:00:40.030,0:00:43.650
She really didn’t think that this narcissistic thing

0:00:44.990,0:00:46.310
that’s

0:00:46.310,0:00:47.510
people

0:00:47.510,0:00:54.219
That you work with let me give you a rundown here. Have you ever worked with someone that?

0:00:56.219,0:00:57.730
– either

0:00:57.730,0:01:03.000
You might consider them a a ladder climber someone that would do pretty much anything

0:01:03.580,0:01:07.080
To get ahead and that anything is

0:01:07.810,0:01:09.010
certainly

0:01:09.010,0:01:11.429
using you and then

0:01:12.520,0:01:17.249
deciding that at some point you don’t have as much value and

0:01:19.760,0:01:23.210
Go on with these and then they started to like

0:01:24.330,0:01:27.830
devalue you and ultimately they will come along and

0:01:30.310,0:01:33.360
They will room you they will decide that okay?

0:01:33.460,0:01:38.820
I tried to be nice to them and then I

0:01:39.460,0:01:45.869
Started telling everyone how bad they were at work telling them that they had done things wrong

0:01:45.869,0:01:52.319
But was so amazing to me was when she was telling me last night about the gas lighting

0:01:52.840,0:01:55.530
That this girl did to her

0:01:57.159,0:02:00.999
My friends tillable leaves and since they’re going

0:02:01.579,0:02:08.199
Why would she say that about me? It’s not true, and I sat there trying to explain to her hey

0:02:08.539,0:02:13.749
That’s what they do if you are the most honest person in the world that

0:02:14.959,0:02:17.768
Honesty is something that they’re going to target

0:02:18.290,0:02:25.780
If you are amazing with customer service, and you just love your customers and they love you

0:02:26.420,0:02:31.059
She convinced my friend that all of her customers

0:02:31.519,0:02:34.629
Were afraid of her because she was to me

0:02:35.209,0:02:37.209
And now my friend is sitting here

0:02:37.760,0:02:44.019
like seriously citing whether she should stay in her career because

0:02:44.660,0:02:47.229
She doesn’t like the fact that people

0:02:47.959,0:02:51.189
Thought she was me the whole thing was a lie

0:02:51.190,0:02:57.069
And it was so hard to explain this to someone that has never

0:02:57.800,0:02:59.540
experienced or witnessed

0:02:59.540,0:03:02.140
This kind of behavior it

0:03:04.620,0:03:07.099
Confuses her brain, and she doesn’t know what to do

0:03:07.100,0:03:12.260
She has no idea how to process this this whole tried to ruin her at work

0:03:12.720,0:03:15.740
The other girl got fired not my friend

0:03:16.110,0:03:22.999
But it didn’t leave my friend without scars and wounds of the fact that

0:03:24.300,0:03:28.700
Someone could do this to you someone that you brought on your teeth

0:03:29.780,0:03:33.860
You train them, and you built them up, and you made them

0:03:34.620,0:03:36.620
Be able to do their to mop

0:03:36.990,0:03:42.169
And then they started backstabbing you and they started lying about you

0:03:42.890,0:03:46.270
That’s only half of it the other part is that?

0:03:47.060,0:03:51.879
She she looked my friend to leave that

0:03:53.200,0:03:56.519
She is someone that her customers fear

0:03:56.560,0:04:00.839
And you know any little tiny bit of truth

0:04:01.209,0:04:05.729
That she might have been able to throw in there to throw it back at my friend

0:04:06.489,0:04:08.489
Just well we know they do right

0:04:09.220,0:04:16.410
That made it make more sense to my friend. Oh, maybe I was that maybe I did that

0:04:17.530,0:04:22.919
She wasn’t mean to her customers and her customers left her in fact she said

0:04:23.680,0:04:31.650
This girl had told her a specific meal of someone that yeah. He says he doesn’t ever want to talk to you again

0:04:32.260,0:04:38.609
So my friend email this client and said listen. Uh I want to work this out if you have issues with me

0:04:38.610,0:04:46.199
I would love to talk with you. I’ve been working with you for 15 years. You know please can we talk about this and

0:04:46.900,0:04:53.880
That customer sent her back an email saying I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think she’s like messing with your head

0:04:54.639,0:04:56.639
Because I never said any of that

0:04:57.039,0:05:03.929
Well that is my friends proof that this girl is making this up and going around and telling everyone these lies

0:05:04.060,0:05:08.789
And as I sat there trying to explain to my friend that she had the proof

0:05:09.340,0:05:15.449
That her customers don’t eat her and they don’t think bad things about her. She was holding the proof

0:05:16.550,0:05:19.329
believing the lie that the narcissist

0:05:19.790,0:05:25.299
Put on her and labeled her when she’s stuck in that and it’s so

0:05:25.910,0:05:27.020
unfair

0:05:27.020,0:05:28.880
and

0:05:28.880,0:05:34.149
it doesn’t help that you have never had this experience and

0:05:34.960,0:05:37.960
No, how many people in work situations actually

0:05:38.900,0:05:40.880
go in and

0:05:40.880,0:05:43.419
Look up narcissists appears

0:05:44.650,0:05:48.840
There’s probably a large number of that that do eventually

0:05:49.479,0:05:54.989
Get to that kind of conclusion get to that diagnosis to read and learn and understand it

0:05:55.270,0:06:00.449
but I think when there’s that kind of abuse in a workplace I

0:06:01.180,0:06:03.180
Think that most people

0:06:03.490,0:06:06.629
Call them ladder climbers you know cutthroat

0:06:07.629,0:06:10.499
backstabbers all of those things are

0:06:11.530,0:06:14.909
Possible at the workplace, but is when they use these

0:06:15.580,0:06:17.169
manipulative tactics

0:06:17.169,0:06:19.169
to

0:06:19.239,0:06:23.369
Devalue you to smear your name and then to turn around

0:06:24.309,0:06:30.118
And gasp like you into thinking that your own customers don’t like you

0:06:30.639,0:06:34.048
and that is so ingrained in my friends head because she’s

0:06:34.449,0:06:39.389
So not like that and so it hit her at the core of her honesty and her

0:06:40.119,0:06:43.078
great customer service and her great dedication

0:06:44.940,0:06:50.119
So if you’re going through something with a narcissist at work, please

0:06:50.730,0:06:53.840
Understand and I have a few videos on

0:06:54.360,0:06:59.090
Narcissist at work I suggest that you read them because this is a very

0:06:59.550,0:07:03.229
Powerful weapon that is so often

0:07:03.930,0:07:06.680
displayed in a work relationship

0:07:07.530,0:07:08.820
remember

0:07:08.820,0:07:15.079
Narcissist might be there abusing us as romantic victims husbands wives boyfriends girlfriends

0:07:16.260,0:07:19.640
But they have a job too, and they want to climb that ladder

0:07:19.640,0:07:27.350
And they don’t care who they step on right this is such a serious thing that I think we need to educate

0:07:28.320,0:07:30.320
HR departments and

0:07:31.240,0:07:36.479
Corporate offices to to understand that this exists so that they can better identify

0:07:36.729,0:07:42.299
It and they can better help the victim through this difficult time

0:07:42.610,0:07:48.300
Because for her to give up her career that she has been doing for over 30 years

0:07:48.759,0:07:53.519
Would be a shame would be a shame because it’s not true

0:07:53.669,0:07:59.219
And I don’t want any of you to think that this is normal behavior

0:07:59.889,0:08:03.899
What to do about it, we’ll talk about that in another video right now

0:08:04.449,0:08:08.429
That just stuck my heart. I was with my friend last night and

0:08:10.960,0:08:15.780
So classic classic classic classic so if you haven’t subscribed to my channel

0:08:15.780,0:08:20.429
Please do thank you very much, and this is Tracy peace out

0:08:20.430,0:08:26.969
I hope there’s good volume on this because I’m driving and there’s carnal ways right, so have a great day and

0:08:27.580,0:08:28.810
He’s out

0:08:28.810,0:08:30.810
That’s all I got

 

Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!

playerfm

Print Friendly, PDF & Email