We all have core beliefs about ourselves. Sadly the things we have been telling yourself is not serving you any longer. How do you change the recordings in your head. What IS a recording in your head? Some might be
I am fat – I am unloveable – I am not smart…
this exercise might help you prove to yourself you are loveable, you are worthy and you are perfect just the way you are.
Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!
Are there, this is Tracy and it is fourth of July happy Independence Day, and I wanted to make this special video for some of my subscribers that are joining me in the co-dependency club. We are a co-dependence.
Most likely, if we have been a victim of a narcissist we are loving and kind, and we just want to be loved. There is absolute nothing wrong with being a co-dependent we just have to understand it, we have to understand why it made us make choices and why it made us be a really good supply for the narcissist to feed off of.
And something that I want to bring up that I learned this week was core beliefs.
I was in my narcissist support group and we were talking about Corrales and they gave us homework, they actually gave us a list of things that potentially we may believe about ourselves, and they might be… I’m un-lovable, I’m not good enough, I’m a bad person, I’m stupid, I’m ugly, I’m normal, I’m boring, I’m worthless, and I’m undeserving. Or maybe, I’mThat one would be leave these things. They’ve been in our head, deep, deep, deep down inside of our head, and it’s not that we walk around saying I’m on lovable or I’m stupid. And yet, we tell ourselves this story, because it’s been drilled into our heads for example, she made us choose one of them and write down what our negative core belief about ourself is from that list and we could add others, but from that list of nine, I first wrote I’m un-lovable and the second part of the exercise was to list three pieces of evidence that are contrary to that core belief. And she really made us look hard. You made us think about it.
And my pieces of evidence that were contrary to that, I’m on Lovable was that I have many people that love me and I work hard at being a good person and just because I’ve made bad choices, it doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve to be loved. And if you look at the contrary, kind of things in the way that we do ourself and the things that we tell ourselves, it helps us understand the co-dependency, because this is drilled into our head. And maybe it was Jolene. By someone that we love like our parents, and we wanted to be loved fromAnd maybe it’s just something retail ourselves as the group worked together in looking at this. I found another one that didn’t come to me right away, but it said mine was… I am stupid, and I always believed that, because I have two sisters both with Master’s degrees, college masters, and I went to school for one year.
I, I was a fuck up, I failed to him in college, it was really cold and there was no way I was gonna walk across campus with wet hair, it just wasn’t happening, so I just didn’t go, so I felt Jim seriously, and then I dropped out of college, I ended up being a self-taught person, I took courses I took, certifications, I found something that I love to do and I built it myself I paid for my own way to be tough. I am going to about five, ten conferences a year, to keep myself on the edge of my marketing career and I have built a business, I am a well-known, well-respected and I have people that I’m responsible for in a company that I pay their salary. And so where did that… I’m stupid, come in. That’s a old recording that’s been in my head since I am little because I think what I figured out is that I chose to be the fuck up in the family because I wasn’t getting the attention that I needed, and I was always smart, I just didn’t care, I was applying myself, the wrong things, I was applying myself, to things that weren’t good for me.
But the truth is that I am brilliant, I have built something so much bigger than my two sisters ever did with their degrees until I have to give myself a break. I have to understand that because of this co-dependency I’ve been telling myself these stories and I implore you to look at yourself and think about what core beliefs you have if you think that being co-dependent is a bad thing, and something that you should be judged for something that you’ve done wrong, you’re wrong.
We are all products of how we were raised, or the life that we chose and some time forms of the life chose us we didn’t start out by choosing it. So cut yourself a break, give yourself some slack and be kind to yourself, don’t judge yourself by lease core leaps.
Do the exercise.
Rewind is if you have toBut I’ll put the nine that we’re on this worksheet down below in the comments when I’m done with this video, and I want you to think about it, do the exercise. What core belief do you have that makes you think that some part of this narcissistic abuse that you have endured is any bit your fault?
And when you figure that out, and when you hold on to it, accept it, accept it for what it was. That was yesterday, you… I decided to buck up in school, that was my choice then, what I wanted to learn, I excelled beyond anyone’s expectations, and the same thing had happened for our love ability status. We have to remember that we were good while we wanted to do is love somebody. We were not the evil ones we did not cause pain we did not close harm, and being lovable as a human emotion. We are all lovable.
I have a YouTube video that I will also put the link to down below that I have probably watched a hundred times. It is by a woman named Tracy McMillan, and it is in the name of it is called the the person that you should have married and it’s about self-love. And she has been married three times, and she realized through her upbringing and her foster care, life of hers in twenty foster homes that all she wanted to do was be married and have a family. And every time I listened to it, it rings about… And it teaches me that instead of wanting to be married and find my perfect partner, find the perfect partner inside of you. You are there, till death do you part… All of that love and all of the things that you did for others do for yourself? Now it’s time to love yourself marry yourself watch her video and if you’re like me and a co-dependent like she is, you will find hope in learning to love yourself and wear you to forgive yourself for being a co-dependent. It’s not your fault. The fact that you’re here and you’re learning is great news, you are independent. This is independent state and we’re gonna put a hole in meaning that whole our fore fathers and all that American flag stuff that awesome, we can have fireworks but when you’re watching fireworks tonight?
Everyone that goes off every single one. Think of it as a new beginning for you or it’s gonna be a great new world because we’re so much smarter, we are educating ourselves and only we have the power to control what’s in our mind and change those corporates.
Because I am lovable and I am not stupid and until I did this exercise this week I had that recording, in there and every time, it comes back every single time it comes back into your head that you are unviable or it was your fault in some way.
Play the new recording, give yourself that evidence.
It’s contrary to that belief. Do the exercise, and I think that it will help you on the road to recovery.
Another quote that to me means and when you watch this video, you’re going to hear it.
She said a mistake is only a mistake if you don’t grow from it and you don’t learn from it, if you’re here, you’re learning, be proud of yourself.
Thank yourself for finally taking the time to understand and forgive yourself and love yourself the way you wanna be loved because if you don’t love yourself the way that you wanna be loved Prince, the door for people to love you, the way they have before narcissist pretending to love you, to love yourself first.
And another really good exercise would be to make a list of things that you like about yourself.
How do you care for yourself, if you care for yourself, think about things that maybe you like the way you dress, maybe you like your hair like girls. We call her ourHere, we actually spend time in self-love doing that. People that don’t care about themselves, don’t color their hair, they don’t get their nails done, they don’t make an effort to feel good about themselves.
If you care what you wear in the morning if you care what you eat, exercise, those are things that you love about yourself.
Don’t cut those things short, if you’re on this channel in your learning right now you’re doing it for you and you love yourself so start loving yourself the way you wanna be loved, and I promise you that person will come along, and they’ll love you that way because you already love yourself, that way.
This is Tracy piece out happy for July and let’s have a co-dependent club together.