First Christmas Alone Post-Narc Abuse – Kids, Loneliness, Strategies …

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#Narcissism #NarcissistAbuse #Holidayloneliness If you are struggling with rumination watch this recent video, I made with Bree Bonchey Narcissist always ruin holidays. Did yours? I want to talk to those survivors of narc abuse who may be struggling with their first holiday alone, their first holiday with the kids without the other parent. And I want to give you a tip if you haven’t finalized a divorce and parenting plan yet. How to protect yourself and children for holidays to come. Holiday culture of the big family dinner, happy people, cookies, trees and gifts puts pressure on everyone. To a narcissist there is no greater time to make you feel terrible, the narcissist knows how important it is to you. Remember Negative attention is still attention. The list of things they do is endless and you can see thousands of videos on the tricks and tactics, but I want to focus on you, your journey, your pain and look at some strategies to get through the season. Everything in narcissistic abuse is on a spectrum. So the way you may be experiencing the different ways that you may be experiencing or will experience a holiday this season with a narcissist in your life. Everything always has to be about the narcissist, and they don’t like sharing a spotlight even with their kids. IMPORTANT: Parenting plans for the shared holiday time If you are going through a divorce but have not yet finalized the parenting plan and decree, I offer you this nugget of a warning. Holiday schedules are often cookie cutter, lawyers do it because they have no idea what type of post-divorce abuse a narcissist can do. The normal line ‘you get the kids this year and I next year’ is not narc-proof and often gets abused. You must put starting times of when a holiday begins and ending times for when it is over, and the children must be returned. And example would look like Christmas begins at 9am on Christmas morning and ends at 8pm. In my new book DIVORCING… I talk extensively about the grey areas of a divorce decree and I share this holiday story. The traditional you get them this xmas I get them next was written into this gals decree. The very first holiday was his turn, he picked up the kids and kept them all the way through the holiday break (ten days!) he wouldn’t answer her calls, she called the police but no one would do anything because it didn’t specify when it started or ended. His answer from his lawyer when she finally got the kids back was – go ahead take him back to court, we will fight you and you will go bankrupt. Please if you are in this position get my book and learn the dozens of ways they can ruin not only your holidays but your life.



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