In church today yet another lesson in forgiveness and it got me to think about if I forgive the narcissists in my life. I am struggling with the stories of horrific abuse and murder and yet they forgave. Why is it I am stuck? Are you? It occurs to me that there are many different levels of forgiveness. I just don’t know if I can say it…
Transcription:
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Today, I’m going to talk about forgiveness forgiveness of a narcissist. What do you think?
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Hi there, and this is Tracy and today in church
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We had a discussion on forgiveness. It seems to come along a lot in church and
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the pastor told us a story of a
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man that he met a few years ago that when he was on a mission and
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The man and his wife were beaten
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because of their religious beliefs
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And the man was kicked repeatedly in the face until he was just about to go unconscious
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And he could see in the distance
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That his wife’s clothes were being ripped off and she was about to be raped
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And he went unconscious
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and when he woke up a few days later he found out that his wife was dead and
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before leaving the hospital
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He forgave the people that had done this to him
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and this very much brought a story up that our church again I
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Would say about two years ago we had a visitor and her name was Terry Roberts
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her son
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[Ten] Years ago was the shooter in the amish
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shooting or ton Ten young girls were murdered and
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this mother of the shooter Terri Roberts
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Came to our church and talked to us about
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forgiveness
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And it was a very powerful day. It was it was one of the most powerful
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Things I’d ever seen or ever witnessed was to listen to how
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She was forgiven by the amish people, and how they forgave her son
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And to me both of these examples are very extreme and you
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The people found it in their hearts to forgive and I know that forgiveness is
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Mercy it’s
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Having Grace and
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standing up and
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compassion for someone else I
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Know that Jesus forgave many along his journey
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and I
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Know that it’s about letting go
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it’s about letting go and healing for ourselves and
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I know that. There’s two different types of forgiveness if you can think about the forgiveness of
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somebody who
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A
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friend did something stupid and
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You forgave them they didn’t show up at the party. They didn’t do what they were supposed to do and
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you can find it in your heart to forgive them and
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You continue this relationship on with your friend when I look at for giving my Narcissus I?
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will never see any of them again in my life and
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That’s about as no contact as you can go um my mother is dead, so I’ll do the nashes I
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I don’t have anything that I can hold on to and I believe that I have forgiven
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her for
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her role in
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being a narcissistic mother
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and I think I can I can forgive her because
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she didn’t know does that make sense um I think I can forgive her because she’s gone and
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There’s nothing for me to gain by holding onto this now
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There’s nothing for me to gain by holding on to the the anger about my narcissist number three or number two
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But as I look at my life, and I feel like I’m not making them are on
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Being as wonderful as the amish people were
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Being able to forgive as that man whose wife was murdered. You know a few feet from him
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how he was able to just pick up and
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Forgive and I know it’s not about condoning
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the actions and
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It is about simply letting go
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but it’s about this time last year when I was battling the worst anger of my entire life and
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the
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Betrayal of 3x
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cheating on me
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all during January
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I was just working with the therapist and trying to figure out like how do I process
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someone you trust
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really repeatedly
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being abusive
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and
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On the day of my arrests when I went to his house, I went to forgive [him]
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Now we know [I] learned the hard way
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We don’t have to forgive them to their face. That is clearly
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Not what I’m [saying] I?
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think there’s a difference between
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forgiving people that
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Like your friend. You’re gonna see her again. She didn’t come to the party forgave her. She said something mean you forgave her
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When we are going no contact with someone
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To me, it’s a difference. It’s a different type of thing. It’s like
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We’re not going to have a continued relationship and again. I get not saying we have to do it to their face. I’m just saying
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There’s a difference between a continued
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Forgiveness like I forgave this son of a bitch four times, I broke up with him and I would take him back
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that’s forgiveness rate, but the actions of what he did and having me arrested and
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lying and
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his
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Absolute callousness I
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Don’t know what I’m feeling like I’m not Christian because [I] can’t just let it go and I know I have to let it go
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Every single day. I pull my angel cards, and I keep pulling a card that says
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forgiveness
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Yeah
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Why do I keep pulling this card because the spirits are saying you can’t move on unless?
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[you’ve] forgiven your heart
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And I’m trying
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And I’m handing it over to God let him take the vengeance
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Um I know that letting go of the anger and the resentment will
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Help me improve my health
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Help me get on with my life
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It is about forgiving
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Inside of Ourselves. It’s not make sense I
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Don’t know. I don’t know how to advise you on this. I’m just talking about what I feel like right now and
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Just seeing it and actually feeling it are two different things cuz I could say I forgive him. I could say I forgive them
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But if a house were to fall on them [hmm], I think it would be okay with that is that forgiveness. I don’t know
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So when you look about thinking about forgiving your narcissist
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If it’s your mother and she’s still here, and you’re gonna see her
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It’s a different level of forgiveness
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It’s more like tolerating
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Tolerating those things that you have to be at or completely deciding to go no contact right I?
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Don’t know how this chapter will run its course
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but I do know that I’m human and
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I don’t want to be judged by the higher power
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Because I haven’t been able
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To release the really really shitty thing that these two men did in my life
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But I do know that I will go on with my life and I
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Will never make the same mistake again?
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So this is tracy, and that’s all I got
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peace out
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