I made this video after reading an article on the Elephant Journal ? ?. This is an overview of a must read today article I encourage you to look up the article and read the amazing words written by Rebecca Lammesen the article title is – 18 Relationship Red Flags Every Woman Should Know.
Transcription:
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Hello, this is tracy um tonight. I am going to do sort of a thing that I’m
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Leaning towards doing more as I read things and learn things. I want to share [this] with the community that
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all of you that are in different places of your
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healing process over narcissist abuse elephant Journal Com
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it is a
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mindfulness
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Sort of a huffington post of
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Mindfulness articles, and so there’s things that are on relationships there are
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just
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Spirituality in general and everything kind of tied in that whole picture, so if you haven’t checked it out definitely
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Going on to it
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and you’ll find some very interesting articles my friend [luzelle] who I’ve made some videos with
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she’s got a bunch of articles posted there as well, so
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Today, I’m today. I was reading an article that is
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called 18
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relationship Red Flags every Woman should Know by Rebecca [lamb] [anson] and
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I’d like to paraphrase her her
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Article a bit but point you to it to go read it. I’ll put a link down below
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Go and look at this article because I’m just going to give you some of the top
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Points of each one [of] her 18 things that she’s written about I love her quotes. I love the things she’s saying and
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While she’s not addressing it as a narcissist type of bad red flag thing
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Everything she said is everything that we have learned about narcissus now her article points. This is about women
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dating men but men
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Same thing goes back and forth as I read this to you, so
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Our first line opens up with something that I’m going to quote directly which says their experience. I’ve learned
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What I am willing to accept and what I am [not]
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Right that is where we want to be?
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awesome
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Everything she said is so close to everything
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We now know so I’m just gonna give you a her 18 little points and point you there to elephant Journal to
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read the Rest I
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Just wanted to share before that one point this beautiful sunflower look
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You see how pretty it is
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all
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pinking and Wild colors I
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Painted the other day. Yeah, I picked the dead ones and then I painted it
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There you go pinter’s I’ve got an idea for ya okay
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So um the first thing that she said and the first red flag that we should watch out for is that um
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The relationship is one sided
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And if you find that you have done
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more than your share if
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In the beginning this person that you were with these are paraphrasing only her title there is what she said
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But I want to discuss these points, and I want you to eat her article anyway um
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when you’re doing everything and
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They’re not pulling their weight then it’s an indication that is a lopsided affair right it. It’s not right
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Did they introduce you to their family and their friends?
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because that’s a one-sided thing rate, so
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with their unwillingness to share
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Love never with holds and they are withholding
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That’s number one
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Number two is that he waits till the last minute to commit to a plan?
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if they cannot make a plan with you or
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Commit some kind of time
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Maybe they’ve actually used the excuse. I live in the moment. This is a direct quote from her
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real men make plans while honoring
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the moment that they are in remember that
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Number three have you ever actually been on a real date
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Sometimes you’re just hanging out you know Chillin staying back at your house
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let’s watch movies and cuddle up because I just want to be with you and
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then
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They’re not planning ahead there. They used to write for me
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I look back at my to narcissus and they used to plan my ex-husband would plan the most amazing trips
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and it didn’t matter if we were going on a picnic in the woods or
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if we were
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like
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Going to broadway. He made the effort and in the end now that I look back
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He stopped that a long time ago, and I have to plan everything I had to do everything
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So we go back to number one which is
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Uneven Volunteer, that’s it
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number 44
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Play what’s that
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She said only accept a man who is sensuous than patient?
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He will make a lover for a lifetime because it isn’t about his penis. It’s about you
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red Flag number five
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He doesn’t have any close friendships
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She says he should have to close friends, or it’s a red flag
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And not the school friends Facebook friends
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Shady characters like you’ve heard of them, but you’ve never actually met them
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maybe they have like a shrine of
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Postcard saying look this person thinks I’m special
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To show you that they are someone’s friend
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You have to see it you have to watch how they react because if you don’t
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she said a friend is a indicator of how he’ll treat you and
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How you do one thing is how you do everything
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Number six he won’t introduce you to his family
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Nuff said
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He’s screaming that you are not important
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meeting the family is absolutely critical to understand his foundation and
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If he’s not showing you his family
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Then he’s not serious. He’s not ready to own you
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At any level like wife doesn’t matter any level
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This one’s a gate on
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if he’s a slob remember guys could be for girl too, but um
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This was written for women
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if there’s like dishes in the sink and food and
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garbage around the house if the bathrooms are disgusting
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that
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this is only going to be a reflection of
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How he’s going to be and you’re going to have to be his maid for the rest of your life
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Having a partner should make you make your life cleaner and not dirtier. You’re not a maid
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On the dirty filthy thing 3x was so disgusting that
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his bathroom was
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I
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Couldn’t even shower there. I would have to clean which is probably why he had me stayed there whenever he needed a really good cleaning
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Every time I show up dishes all over the counter food left out
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It was horrifying. I’m surprised he even had bugs
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number 8
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He gets up and leaves during an argument
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this means he doesn’t know how to cope and
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unconditional love remains present at all times
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There is always a way to get through an argument or a fight
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it just takes two people to
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Commit it to listening to one another
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I’m number gone
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Yes, I’m reading this it’s a lot to read
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Um I can’t say I love you number nine
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If a man cannot express his love for you, then he does not love himself
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Love is not a scoreboard and just because I said it now you have two is not really having someone. Love you
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all right number [ten] is
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everything that happens to him is
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Everyone else’s fault. What was that sound like hello?
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Narcissus we know this is you oh my God
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Pay attention to how he describes people in his past
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Does he blame others for the outcomes of his life?
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Mmm. Does he have no accountability?
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Is he insecure an immature?
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It takes awareness and Maturity to accept
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Responsibility and say I’m sorry or I forgive you
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Grand I never heard this one, but she has number 11 adds that he’s an eye roller does he roll his eyes
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an Avoid eye contact with [you] or smirks
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This means that he’s not capable of loving and creating a safe
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place for [you] and your love
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number 12
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He exaggerated omits and lies who does this sound like [I] am [telling] [you] she’s writing the nurses his hand book here
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um
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She said need I say more
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He’s not honest, and there’s no room for dishonesty in love
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no, not
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Um how about this one? He doesn’t like to work. It can’t hold a job
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it means that he’s got a lack of Commitment discipline and ambition a
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Lazy man
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Isn’t someone that you want and if he blames everyone else for it happening go back to that number?
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Okay, how about this one? She called it number 14 is is he a hustler and
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to me this described our
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charming narcissus that we know of they’re always wheeling and dealing and
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Kind of talking themselves in and out of things that just don’t seem quite right?
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number 15 how would he doesn’t like kids or maybe he hasn’t spent a lot of time around children and
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how a man acts in front of kids really reflects a lot about him so beware and
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Observant
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16
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um
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Dr.. Jekyll and Mr.. Hyde Syndrome does he switch personas yeah narcissus?
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Yeah, does he put on a happy face in front of?
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People smile and laugh and [Smooths] and does he flirt with women?
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Boy, oh boy. I didn’t just like hello
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Um but then when they get back home with you, they’re like
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Sullen and
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distracted and Withdrawn
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16 this one is number 17 that their words do not match their actions and
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They tell they can tell you all day [long] that they love you
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They can just be you know so sweet and I used to get a love call
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Like five times a day or text. This is even when I was married for [10] years
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When holiday king I would have like all these little trinkets
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Of love things love poems little books coupons. I mean
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Daggers and things with love notes in it fortune cookies handmade with freaking things about me
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Anyway, whatever there we go. So actions speak louder than words
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[and] the last one you cry more than you laugh with them
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Maybe don’t forget that [if] he doesn’t bring a smile to your [face]
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Every single day, and if he’s not smiling back
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It doesn’t matter who he is
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you
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