My weekly top tips I learned to help us heal from the narcissist in our lives. These tips were gathered by talking to other survivors, watching YouTube’s and talking with professionals that help treat people that have been exposed and probably hurt by a narcissist. Every day I am lucky to interact with more and more people on YouTube and really get such different perspective on the broad reach that personality disorder of Narcissism has.
Either this is Tracy did they learn a few and got some insights on something else to think about? And I thought I would share that with you. One of the things that was discussed was whatever you are separated from someone, divorcing or with a narcissist and you break up the relationship, there’s always casualties of war. There’s always people that are going to go to one side or the other, but when you’re with a narcissist these are like casualties of lies because we lost people in your life, whether it’s plans or family and it’s really hard to take. And the feel was that we’re talking about it today, we’re discussing how we each could pick out somebody that we used to have in our life that was important to us and that we lost in a divorce or a narcissist, relationship. And I know that I’ve always been sad, that I lost talking to my niece and I know that my son was talking to a family. So I know that breaking up is hard to do, but when you’re with a narcissist and there is no other ending, but cutting it off and just… it’s dead when there’s only that then you, I don’t know, it feels different, doesn’t it.
Alright, another thing I learned about today as a rebel children that they have no ability to have any boundaries. When I was little, I used to get, I had a nice.
And I’m talking like under three, but my dad recently reminded me of it, my nickname was me and I would be running around the house meme has a middle child, and I’m pretty sure it was when the third one came that I was completely neglected and so I was named mind. We always want that attention, but a narcissist has no boundaries, and like they’re never gonna learn. You can teach a child that they have to use the potty, you can teach a child that they have to put on their safety boats in the car, but a nurse is doesn’t have those boundaries and they never will. So it’s like teaching a child and we can’t expect anything because if they haven’t gotten to yet and they’re probably not under five, then they aren’t ever going to.
So we just have to accept that. And I know many of us tried to help a nurses. It love arises try to fix them, make them better, so that really give part inside of them. And then one of that all the time we didn’t believe that this crazy, psycho person as he ended up to be was capable of anything that they were gonna do.
I learned today that silence is a negotiation, too, and that we can use silence to get people to listen.
Does that make sense? And sometimes, even though we want to talk, it’s hard to understand without the context but I found it really fascinating to use silence of tool and it’s mindful that’s my full of others to really let them be heard or whatever they have to say.
Come out. Another thing that I wanna talk about today, and I was talking about with my new art friends, is that we are a often get overwhelmed by the discovery, and by all of the information that were suddenly growing it or like something got is new to us and we become these detectives. I think it’s actually the best thing that we can do. I really don’t think there’s anything bad with just diving into it and learning everything that you.
Can you hear all these birds in E-on it, you play in this for you, alright.
As in, I want to talk about is something for you to think about something for you to make a list of and this is gonna help you in your recovery. Think of the things that you tolerated. I think of the things that you weren’t good and think really hard. Did you carried what did you slight under the road, what did you sell for? Did you lower your bar? I lowered my bar oh my God, I could have jumped over it in a flip-flop. I think it was so low, I was touching the ground, I kept lowering and lowering and lowering my standards and you know what happened, I got less and less. So I want you to take a piece of paper and write down some things that you tolerate. There have to be some… and we might not have thought we are taurine it then, but now as we do this new discovery work, we are going to see that we tolerated much more than we should have and we need to kind of set up that under… we need to start with this place. What did I set for and what don’t I everyone, so or less again, if we don’t have this list things are gonna get lower. In the word and, or so make that list. And a hill together. Okay,