Friend or family member been in a relationship that left them confused, blindsided, hurt, sad, shamed, and my personal favorite Brain F**ked. Then they might have been with a covert narcissist. You might have thought this person was great and they could have been together for 20 years. But suddenly these stories out of your friend or family member don’t seem like anything you can believe. Here are some ideas that helped me. If you reallly want to help a victim of narcissist abuse then get educated and point them to these youtube videos. The community is amazing and helpful and quite honestly their best chance of getting back to themselves again.
Transcription:
Hi, this is these, and today I wanna talk about how do you help a friend when they’ve been through Narcissus abuse? It’s not easy to listen to. Most people don’t want understand emotional abuse or people don’t understand how you feel inside even if they listen to the story.
Now, it’s a pretty sky out there. What if they listen to your story, they don’t get it. It’s hard to relate it’s hard to be unless they’ve lived it, and we can only hope that they never do, but being a friend where a family member of someone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship.
The kids, it really does. And the most important thing is for you to listen is for you to care, it’s for you to show empathy and try to understand them be supportive, what they have just gone through it, so dearly, called the brain fog has put on a place that they do not know how to help themselves. Willingness confusion fear, sadness, hurt, anger.
It’s all around us, and every day, every moment that we spend every turn in the car look in that.
Skye face a fear, if you and your ex-shocked at Wal-Mart effect or when you shop, you help hands every time you go to Walmart, it’s going to be in your mind, it’s going to hurt you every time you lay in a bed that you used to lay in with them, it’s going to hurt when you turn out the lights and you used to reach over and get someone, it’s going to hurt as a friend. You always think that them telling you, and then you go home that they’re gonna be all right.
But I see memory in these things that had thus… and so, as a friend, as a family you have to make an effort to understand trauma. I have to try to support them no matter how you can, don’t abandon them and whatever you do, do not believe them, someone that they trusted someone that they loved whether you think it was a big relationship or not their hearts were in it.
And the worst thing that you can say to that is… why did you say why did you stay? I told you he was no good, I told you I didn’t like him. Something was creepy about him.
That was a really help. But that does is make them doubt their own decisions trust me, they know now they don’t know that that was a bad thing, they know that this person who was probably a line, certainly know now or they will some things that they leave to be true or… and that breaking, her. So if you have a family member that has been in an abusive relationship.
They don’t have to be punched for you to see the wounds, they’re inside, just hold their hand, give them space show them that you’re there for them any time they need you.
Offer your hope for your love.
Can remember them.
Remember them long holidays. Who doesn’t hate holidays, right? If you were with your nurses for a while, maybe you’re married to them. Every holiday, every Christmas tree that comes out every Easter basket that comes out is going to remind you of things that happened, and then you’re gonna think about how well we are and how we train to work. How could you have had some marvelous Christmas for 15 years, and then it was gone. Was that all fake, it’s going to bring it back up. So, don’t brokering of holidays, even by offering. They might not come, but it’s good to know that someone cares and I am telling you from experience, that holidays are really hard until it’s not.
Until you take back holidays, so you take back things take them back as your own, they’re gonna be triggers. May we go shopping somewhere else other than where are you shopped before? Maybe go to a different movie date, because every time you go to that one, you now look at that seat and remember that movie you’re gonna look over there and you’re gonna think about that which our memories that are etched in our mind and what we need to do it. But I wanna back up drive and just kind of them away for now they’re painful. Take Back locations to restaurants. If your friend has been abused and they used to go to whatever restaurant, whatever bar whatever place was theirs, maybe they had romantic dinners, maybe they had anniversaries there, maybe they were Mayor, there take them there. I have a really good time last… and only then will they have a new memory that replaces that have a family member or a friend that needs you is what’s important now.
So try to help them as much as you can on whatever you do. Do not say. Why did you say, what were you thinking? These are things we already know, we don’t need it from you, we don’t need to hear… we made a mistake, we are confused and we will realize that soon enough just be there for someone love them and let them know you’re there. That’s why you can help a friend who’s been emotionally abused as victims. We’ve been abused, we een’ bullied, even lie to We’ve been hurt, we’ve been a band and be treated in any given situation. Any one of these or mess with your head? But when it all happens with someone that he trusted.
How it hurts.
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