Tracy Malone talks of fears to come, fears vs faith. Completely free of any planning this just came out.
Transcription:
The this is Tracy and I just left church and we have a really good topic today, and I thought that would bring you up to my secret prayer spot every week after I go to church, I usually land even in the winter in this beautiful space, this beautiful place that hold me close to God holds me close to my beliefs and gets me more motivated and it helps me ground myself.
Before my narcissist. I didn’t go to church.
And I think that that was a really good gift that I got was to find God and to find another community to find peace and today’s discussion in church was on fear and it kind of hit accord for me. So, I’m going to share this with you and I hope that it helps. I had always been here in Colorado, I used to live on the East Coast and something that would always come up was the storm, the storm of hurricane. I lived through many terrible her cans. And there’s a fear that comes, in anticipating the storm, and there’s a fear of the unknown, there’s a fear of what could happen.
And I think that as my pastor just said, “the news media really crank it up. And he talked to us about three words that could perhaps in might are words that induce fear this could happen, your nurses could do this perhaps you’re experiencing that you might feel Desai, don’t wanna be a fear-monger. When I try to help people with my nurses videos, my goal is to share with you my experiences with hopes that in my experiences you can actually gain hope and hope brings me to another thing.
He brings me to. I actually named my car when I was going through my divorce with two X, I got a brand new car and I named it hope. And what I had learned through being in church is hope and faith are two completely different things. You can hope that you get past this, you can hope that it doesn’t go as bad as some of these people’s stories do. You can hope that everything will be okay, but when you have faith that everything will be okay, you have much more power. So think of the difference. I think of faith every time you’re in this storm because you are going to be in a storm and it’s not your fault, and it’s something that has happened because of the situation that you were raised in, probably you are not a big deal. That’s good, keep being nice, don’t give up that hope don’t give up that part of you don’t let them steal that from you. If we look at things that people are afraid of people are afraid of rejection and that’s like the number one thing who wasn’t afraid of rejection when you were a junior high school.
Who wasn’t afraid of rejection when you applied for jobs or met up a person, another that will they like me will they think I’m okay? Remember the high school, junior high, elementary school? The fear of not having friends not being part of a group, it didn’t matter if they weren’t the popular group, they mattered, that they were your friends, your peep you are circle. So all we need is one. But we’re afraid of rejection, no matter what it is. And when you’re dealing with the narcissist chances are that you’ve been rejected and so, there is fear.
We’re all afraid of failure, afraid of failure is just so mammoth that everyone fears it and no matter how successful some one is trust me, they’re afraid, they’re afraid and they’re afraid of failure. We all are, and when we’re in the relationship with a dark or coming out of it.
We’re afraid of that failure people are gonna know.
Oh, you couldn’t get you could even get back. I love you. Oh wow, you failed again. When I was getting divorced from two X, I remember walking around and you know, telling everyone I had like Loser thing, on my head and that I was a two-time loser two-time loser.
I get telling myself that. And I think they were just practice. And we have to get out of our head that we’re afraid of failure, in a relationship because it’s not our fault and if we hold it as our fault and we felt because it isn’t our fault, we’re good people and we’ve just been knocked down and we can’t be afraid of that.
We’re afraid uncertainty, what’s gonna happen next.
We afraid of that we’re afraid of what happens behind door number two, we’re afraid of things that are going on in our world that we have no control over and the uncertainty of our life. I had a US. And it probably isn’t even in the… Will I love again, yet it probably is how I trust. What will it take to get through this the uncertainty, it’s unknown, but if we have faith, if we believe we have much more strength. So I’m suggesting to you that you start to turn around the fears. They’re gonna be there with the best ways to be armed to be educated to be smart, to learn what to do and then you can’t fear it, you can’t fear it as much, if you know what to expect.
We’re afraid of change, change. Oh wow, what am I gonna do, I am I gonna provide for my family, how am I going to go on? We’re afraid of change, sometimes that holds us into our relationship. It very often does, right.
Sorry, there’s a lot of allergies, out here.
It all is in because we’re change what’s gonna happen, how do we do it? “We’re afraid for another take. And this is something that I encourage you to think about and think about only what you think about not what others think about you. We’re afraid that something bad is gonna happen.
And if you’re involved with the North, I don’t wanna be a fear-monger. But there’s a good chance that you’re going to have a battle you’re going to be hurt in ways you’re going to be. I think the word is be trail. I think that’s the thing that hits all of us nurses, as victims, the most is that we were betrayed. We trusted this person we love them with all our heart, and they betrayed us. So, trying to think of ways… Oh cool, a car alarm.
Do not have that fear here of your past, and fear of your future. I encourage you to face it and not just like that storm that storm that hurricane that’s coming in, it’s bearing down and it’s all these things that are gonna happen and the fear longing press is Erin, tells us about all of the things that could happen that might happen, and we become afraid if we look at the incidents that have happened. One, we could go today with the shootings in Orlando the press and the media have made it into something that makes us all afraid.
Were afraid to go to movie theaters here in Colorado, afraid, our children at school, I mean “Colorados one of the states I think that at the most shootings and mass murders in our country and we’re afraid, we’re… I’m afraid to go to large Niles I don’t wanna be there, it’s okay. We have to protect ourselves but we can’t live in beer. So I want you to remember a couple of words that are kind of the opposite of fear. I want you to remember grace, grace.
Oh, yes.
To have grace and dignity is gonna put you above your nor it’s gonna put you above where you’ve been, think of grace, and every time you get fear inside of you, I want you to think about that. How can I have grace? Grace is honoring yourself doing what’s right. But I don’t mean having it, I don’t mean go and give them everything they want when they’re fighting you to them. Now, grace means the dignity to stand up for yourself grace means don’t compromise your values, I want you to be brave, you’re in for fight ahead, you’re in for some pain you’re in for some lessons. And I want to be brave, embrace learning about nurses. impress that. It doesn’t happen again if you’re young, if you’re old, it doesn’t matter, your life is not over.
Our life. Expected. He’s like 79. I just heard that in church, 79 years old, is our life expectancy, and if I can look at my 55 years and say, “Oh my God, I don’t have that much left that.
You know what I do and I have to trust that I have to have faith that whatever is going to happen, I just want to happen for the best.
I think that this is only… ’cause I’m here at church, I’m gonna say this, but veer links back to a lack of trust in God, a Spirit, the divine whatever you wanna call it. If we don’t have trust that it will be okay we are fearful. So while I am sitting here and telling you all kinds of things that are gonna happen with your notes and all the red flags, these are preventative measures, these are meant to teach you how to understand what’s gonna be not, but I don’t want you to be afraid, I want you to embrace it, and I want you to feel the hope that having this form of education can give us.
Grace bravery, and no fear will help you combat the betrayal that you have.
One of my favorite poems is that people are here for a season, or reason or a lifetime. In fact, the C-liked it so much when I told him it we put it up on his wall.
And if we use that and we don’t judge ourselves for a failure of a narcissist relationship, we should be celebrating we should be really happy and I can promise you that through the storm you will be happy after the storm, you will be happy.
It doesn’t seem like it now. It’s pretty freaking scary. I know, but trust me, they were here for a reason. And I encourage you to look for the reason. Why were they here, what did you learn, how do you know if they were here for a reason, or a season or a lifetime? Don’t think they were here for a lifetime, the bigger ’cause the universe said no, they knew the universe, the being the gods in our life, the spiritual insights. Now that that wasn’t right, and we’ve just been spared from hell. You don’t even know it, but that’s what it was, it’s horrible and it hurt right now, but we’ve been spared we’ve been given another chance and if we let ourselves get caught up in depression, fear, of another relationship fear of the unknown, then they win. So they were not here to be part of your lifetime you might have torn that in Mohave said that up on your… I get married and I swear, and all that. I’m not even remembering what the hell they say during a wedding but till death. A part, I believe, is part of it. I think we should rewrite the house until we find out. You’re an asshole. I don’t know, just getting… that’s all I get.
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