Is This Lovebombing By New Guy

Subscribe in a reader

Hi! My Name is Tracy A. Malone, founder of Narcissist Abuse Support and I’m here to help! 🙂

Transcription:

0:00:00.399,0:00:04.919
Hi there. This is Tracy and tonight. I would like to talk to you about

0:00:06.339,0:00:08.339
love bombing and

0:00:09.460,0:00:16.770
People often ask me when they’re getting involved with someone new after they’ve been abused by a narcissist gone the whole

0:00:17.050,0:00:18.550
like

0:00:18.550,0:00:20.199
Growth and

0:00:20.199,0:00:22.199
Understanding of what [a] narcissus it

0:00:23.019,0:00:28.439
And now they’re faced with a new person this person is showering them with love

0:00:29.260,0:00:31.260
They’re helping them

0:00:32.079,0:00:36.058
Understand what happened? They’re being so empathetic and carrying

0:00:36.760,0:00:39.540
their love bombing to the point of

0:00:40.540,0:00:42.540
Texts all day all night

0:00:43.390,0:00:47.579
First thing in the morning. There’s a smiling picture miss you click

0:00:49.510,0:00:53.010
Love bombing can happen at work they could send you flowers

0:00:55.750,0:01:03.509
When they love bomb you, and you’re confused as [to] if this is moving too quickly. Have you found your soul mate

0:01:05.379,0:01:07.379
if you’re wondering that

0:01:08.439,0:01:10.210
That’s good

0:01:10.210,0:01:12.869
This is a sign that you have begun [to] recover

0:01:13.689,0:01:15.490
from the last

0:01:15.490,0:01:21.869
Horrific narcissist in your life, and you’ve got this protection up around you that will

0:01:23.920,0:01:28.320
Guide you to make [sure] that you don’t make that choice again

0:01:29.979,0:01:33.508
But what you have to do to test the narcissist?

0:01:34.420,0:01:36.040
I’m sorry

0:01:36.040,0:01:40.889
The person I don’t know that they’re narcissists if [they’re] [loved] bombing

0:01:41.560,0:01:44.009
It could just be love it for [site] rate

0:01:45.820,0:01:47.820
It could be prince charming

0:01:49.090,0:01:51.930
Don’t think that there isn’t one and guys

0:01:53.560,0:01:56.070
Cinderella’s not really, [they’re] just saying okay

0:01:56.920,0:01:59.159
Well my lady is freaking out. Sorry

0:02:00.369,0:02:01.869
so

0:02:01.869,0:02:03.869
What I want you to do is slow it down

0:02:04.570,0:02:06.570
take it and

0:02:07.030,0:02:09.599
Tell him that you were not comfortable

0:02:10.709,0:02:12.709
Don’t just slow it down

0:02:13.470,0:02:18.019
Without letting him know I’m using him, but it could be him or her

0:02:19.080,0:02:21.080
When we slow something down

0:02:21.450,0:02:24.379
On our own accord as a test

0:02:26.579,0:02:29.719
the person doesn’t know they’re being tested and

0:02:31.140,0:02:33.140
They could get angry

0:02:33.299,0:02:35.359
That’s not the worst thing that happens, right

0:02:35.730,0:02:41.000
We want to test them do they get angry because I’ve said I want to be with my family this weekend

0:02:41.790,0:02:43.739
That’s okay

0:02:43.739,0:02:47.029
When this person loves mom you and makes you uncomfortable

0:02:49.319,0:02:51.319
It’s your job

0:02:52.410,0:02:55.819
[to] use your boundaries and tell them

0:02:56.459,0:02:58.459
Does that make sense I?

0:02:58.890,0:03:00.890
Didn’t know what boundaries were

0:03:01.379,0:03:03.379
And now I do

0:03:04.500,0:03:06.589
the important part about that is

0:03:07.140,0:03:13.729
Not just holding boundaries inside yourself because we all can hold boundaries within ourselves

0:03:14.700,0:03:16.700
That doesn’t tell the other person

0:03:18.030,0:03:20.809
This is the Boundary don’t cross this line

0:03:22.169,0:03:27.379
If you don’t start setting boundaries right now you’re in [for] big trouble

0:03:30.120,0:03:36.889
If the person gets upset with you because you need a little space or you want to go a little slower guess what?

0:03:38.129,0:03:42.168
They’re not the one. They’re not the one

0:03:44.549,0:03:46.470
the one that

0:03:46.470,0:03:49.789
Thinks you’re perfect and wonderful just the way you are

0:03:50.970,0:03:52.560
would [wait]

0:03:52.560,0:03:55.160
they would take time and

0:03:55.799,0:04:01.369
Care about your feelings if they’re rushing you too fast and you feel rushed, and they won’t slow down

0:04:03.000,0:04:09.349
Boundary is I need you to slow down or I’m out of here. You don’t know if it’s good. You don’t know if it’s bad

0:04:11.190,0:04:13.139
Don’t take a chance

0:04:13.139,0:04:15.139
Honor yourself

0:04:15.239,0:04:22.009
Say those boundaries try it turn on the mic clerk at the grocery store first

0:04:22.530,0:04:24.989
I don’t like the way you’re bagging my groceries

0:04:26.350,0:04:27.910
Speak it

0:04:27.910,0:04:30.719
we can’t get mad at someone for

0:04:31.540,0:04:33.540
crossing a boundaries

0:04:33.580,0:04:36.419
When we haven’t told them that there is a boundary?

0:04:37.180,0:04:39.329
We can’t really test someone

0:04:40.480,0:04:41.860
if

0:04:41.860,0:04:47.850
They don’t know [we’re] what we want and what we expect and if we don’t tell them what we expect

0:04:48.820,0:04:50.820
We certainly will not get it

0:04:51.580,0:04:57.960
This is tracy protect yourself from love-bombing if you’re questioning, whether new guy is

0:04:58.660,0:05:00.370
love-bombing you

0:05:00.370,0:05:02.370
Slow it down

0:05:02.470,0:05:04.450
Slow it down

0:05:04.450,0:05:06.400
until you are comfortable

0:05:06.400,0:05:08.140
speak up and

0:05:08.140,0:05:12.089
Tell them exactly how you feel that’s a test right there

0:05:13.540,0:05:15.959
[they’re] really mad at you and walk away, and

0:05:16.630,0:05:21.989
You dodged a bullet. This is all good. Don’t think of it as [a] bad thing

0:05:23.050,0:05:26.370
You’ll be fine. Just like my camera will look

0:05:27.130,0:05:30.089
It’s so crazy, and that is all I have thank you

 

Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!

playerfm

Print Friendly, PDF & Email