When we break up with a narcissist we are hurt, sad, confused and most likely wondering what just happened. The urge to not break that connection on social media with your X is so tempting isn’t it. Well it’s really important to go grey rock and totally disconnect from all social media and here is why…
And we just have a little word about social media. I am a social media consultant, I help companies and clients and people with social media, and one of the advantages of me being in this business is seeing how people use it for their personal use as well. I’ve studied it, I study how people engage with their friends and how they build community and we all turn to it, we all turn to social media. And when you’re in a relationship that has ended narcissistic or not the key is to disconnect Grey Rock on that too. I E-Gray Rock is not a term that Facebook recognizes it would be called block them, don’t just hide them hiding them as a joke that you’re playing on yourself, if you just go in, say “I don’t want notifications, but then at any given time, you can go in and take a peak. Trust me, I’ve done it. I know you can just peek let me just see. I don’t wanna see his stuff in my feed, but I want access. That’s where you have to learn to take a toll for yourself if you don’t take control. And don’t say I am committed to moving on with my life and by having that opening on social media, on Facebook, you are going to set yourself up for temptation, there’s going to be that little devil on your shoulder that’s going to call out to you all the time and say, “Well I wonder if they’re still in a relationship. I wonder if there’s pictures up, does it matter? Think about whatever it is that’s there.
It’s one, you don’t have to worry about it anymore if you put any energy into thinking about what he’s doing or she’s doing and you have that key to the car you have that opening that you can go and peak, that’s only tempting yourself if you cut that off, and you just say, “I’m taking control here and block them, block them now, and anybody that they were friends with first block them get rid of all connections. I had a situation where two X continued to have my old best man spying on me, and I didn’t even know I was still connected to this person because he stopped using social media just so that they could spy on me, so I didn’t close that door properly, and in the end, it came and hit me in the head. So make sure you disconnect all of the friends that are connected to that person, that is not just on Facebook, that might be on Linkedin that might be anything that you play in. If you’re Instagram, Snapchat, or Pinterest, I don’t care, you can say. How can they possibly care what I pin on Pinterest? They can hurt you, they don’t need to see what you’re doing and they probably aren’t going to care but you don’t need to see that you don’t need it rubbed in your face and it’s just too easy of a temptation to be connected to someone on social media if you’ve been involved in a narcissistic relationship and you are trying to recover Gray Rock is not enough blocking them. That is social proper etiquette from this point forward. I’m going to preach this, when I speak to people and tell them just cut it off, cut off every time, because any time that you have get a new job and you see it and it comes in an email, to you because of LinkedIn, how are you gonna feel.
There’s just too much out there just cut it off social media, just say goodbye. Just don’t even let yourself have that opportunity. I would block their phone number on your phone, I maybe even delete the contact, just say, “I don’t need that number any more. That person’s dead, think of it when someone dies, it’s a really hard thing to put on your phone and delete someone contact if you got them and they died. It’s like, do I remove them off the calendar to I remove their birthday remote that or they off your calendar and any other special days that you might have that remind you of your first kiss, or anything like that? Go in and take all that out because two months from now, you do not need an email reminder telling you that it’s their birthday or that at your first kiss, or your first date, get rid of all of that, that is your power that is you taking control, and that’s all we can do is take back control and no contact.
Go no contact.