This is a step in my journey to heal myself, my heart, my soul from narcissist abuse. Tonight I declare that I forgive myself, I release all feelings that I must have done something. Forgiveness never EVER EVER should happen with your narcissist, go grey rock and keep yourself safe. Many of us ‘surviver/victims are deep caring, loving people that have gone WAY beyond caring for these aliens. Yet we tend to blame ourselves for not knowing, for being so stupid to be conned in LOVE, and so many self fulfilling guilts.
I hope that this message stays in your heart and when you are ready you will be able to forgive yourself. You are great and loving and I want you to turn that love on yourself and hug your best friend… You
Transcription:
Narcissist Abuse.
I forgive myself, You should too.
Hi there. This is Tracy tonight. I’m going to talk to you about something that kind of just occurred to me. It’s a new revelation to my mind on this journey of understanding narcissist and the relationships that I have had with two of them journey has been long and I wanna say that my first narcissist which is two X was my husband for ten years. And I can honestly say that at the time, I did not think that there was any of these going on at the time I believed and as did everyone else because on the surface, in this, this presence of company, and family two ex-would co-show, and if we went somewhere just the attention that he gave me and the love that he showed me for ten years, but really real to me, it was something that, at the time… and I want you to think about this for you too, because this is a piece of forgiving yourself. In that time, that 00 years, I thought I had a good life, and it was enough and I wasn’t really being abused in the way that the normal person thinks of someone punching you or hitting you. But now that I look back, and I didn’t even become aware of two X which is now four years ago, until anyway.
I found out about nurses is… and then I started to figure out exactly how it tied into, not only to X, but the act, that’s how I started this journey. But I wanna say that in that time I couldn’t see abuse, when I forgive yourself. You didn’t waste ten years, you didn’t waste whatever time you just had during that time, they were good. Don’t forget that, because if you steal that from yourself because the whole thing was fake then… then you’re never gonna trust yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you know how to love, you honestly loved, that’s all you could do. You can’t help that you were conned by someone that does this as a sole purpose of being here on the Earth, you cannot judge yourself for that, you cannot blame yourself.
And you must remember. Oh yeah, there were good times and I’m sure they were shitty ones. Everyone has them, but the way to heal is to kind of get them out of your system and just say, “you know, we do have on the sucking in. And he sucked again in the end. The other one, the… that’s a nurse, Sister at the end of either one of them, I never sided but then when I saw it in to, I saw these eyes, these hollow eyes that I didn’t even see me, I just threw me away and just sat there like a pallet. I was some sort of crazy that he’d ever had a fight bidder that, very commonly that “narcissis titled all this up and make this grand finale, and a lot of the times the victims never had a thing with him. I thought I was alone on that. I thought that there’s a lot of people that are being verbally abused, and other things, but for all of the times that I had, I was never abused.
I know that there were issues. Now I’m learning more. I can’t wait to talk to my son when he comes from from college soon, and find accountability and hope that he can see that he wasn’t at fault, either. And I want you to know that the only way to heal is to get out of your mind at the mouth of your heart, and it’s not on a easy.
I’m not saying God I’m cured today. And I know that with education and learning about Narcissus learning about my role as a co-dependent learning what it could have been, it was with that. I’m getting “tongeren I’m gonna know a lot younger, a lot faster because this is something that happened and it must so catastrophic that anyone would not leave me in fact, they would probably think it was more normal for me to be under the table right now and hiding from the world because of what happened. And instead, I am educating myself, I am continuing with my life and my job, in my family, and grocery shopping. I’m maybe not doing laundry, as if in a… took plenty of gloves. I’m doing the best I can, and you will too, and hang in there, because was good and don’t deny yourself that because we found out a mistake to us. It was Prince terming and charming isn’t really there and yet, we all think that he’s out there and I think that… or Princesses up there, we find out about that. But for now, I just wanted to to tell you all the lesson that I just learned about forgiveness and for giving yourself. I don’t know that I’ll never forgive either one of them, in the sense to tell them.
But in me understanding I can release some of the hate and some of the hurt. And I was in a stronger and pretty much.
Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!
