Narcissist red flag – Rushing intimacy – if it’s too fast if you even question for one minute. It probably is? Be careful. A narcissist has three stages to the cycle they take with their victims. That feeling of being swept off your feet at first is an act, the narcissist is rushing things to confuse you, not allow you to process the speed at which this is moving.
Transcript:
There, this is crazy and tonight I’m going to talk to you about the number two red flag of a narcissist and there are many different versions of this, but it is called rushing into Missy. Or just falling in love with you so fast. I mean it’s just like you are just bombed. There’s not one dozen red roses, there’s five and there is not one text today but there’s a 100. you can’t live without you, he’s texting you from elevators from every single place that he is because it’s so darn cute, he’s driving down the road he’s thinking of you, maybe he mouthing “Be careful of snapped. Having men that don’t communicate any other way snap chatting then know that all the evidence of their conversations and there, you know, secret. I’m waking up in the morning and here’s my photo is going to be gone.
So it’s a lot easier for narcissists to use something like Snapchat to be aware of that. Another thing that you might find them doing is in everything that you have on Facebook.
Be careful of that that’s public. Your friends start to notice it. Everybody starts to wonder Who is this guy and what’s going on and isn’t this really fast, why does he have to come in every single thing that you do and react and then friends, your friends. I mean, that’s all weird asked fricking thing. They haven’t even met and they start to friend your friends. I am all about I meet your friends and they meet my friends and we can become friends. That’s how the world grows and how we all evolve. But if the person that you’re dating so never met your friends and suddenly, just because they’re commenting on everything, and then your friend start comment and they… to find your friends and you have to be really careful of that keep in mind that they are lying me and all of this love in the beginning. It’s not real and it feels real if you’ll like you’ve found your night in shining armor or your princess because they like everything that you like they be like Disney, they like Disney. If you like this, they want to do that. Everything that you do become something that they’re interested in and you have to be really careful because the odds of somebody actually liking everything that you do, it’s just weird. So be careful of these brushing intimacy things. The man that I just left, he had a key to my apartment within about three weeks and don’t have really know how it happened, but in the two and a half years. So that’s with him aside from watching his child whenever he went away, I’d never had a key, I ever my own key, but for him, he had to have my key rushing. Intimacy is a red flag. That obviously happens at the beginning, but you really have to question it and I don’t think that it’s not true that you can’t fall in love at per site, but look for the other signs, look for the other things that we’re gonna teach you about and that you can look up on YouTube. There are some amazing resources and the people that I have begun to follow are like lifelines for me. I never knew this existed. And of course, after I found that narcissism and socio-paths existed, I began to wonder how exactly have I picked two in a row.
I thought that my divorce from my second husband was wildly the worst in the world. How could someone be so cruel? No one understood because he was Prince Charming, umm, rushing into messy with him was very intense. He lived with his parents he moved out, we owned a house, together within six months, I was you know, fresh out of a divorce. And he gave me the family that I wanted, he gave my son, the father and, and the security that I was looking for, and it gave me everything I wanted and he also tried to change me. That was something that came later, but in the beginning that rushing of intimacy was so intense and really made me go like, Princess.
My friends actually called him a prince because he was a night turning armor everybody loved him. Both number two and three, that we’re talking about in this series were so Army, and so lovable and you love him and you hated him. I don’t think that met my husband that I was married to for 00 years, I didn’t see the narcissistic side I didn’t know any of these red flags, but I didn’t see it until I went through the divorce, and he was crazy, it was the worst.
But I see all of a science now… now that I know them, I went in pursuit to find this out for number three, and find… I wasn’t married to him, but in outwit the hell happened. And truth is, as I read and I watched and I learned on YouTube, and I learned from amazing people that this is all kind of their pattern and we… we, I forgot what I was gonna say. These guys are sick. And I know that there are women that are nurses. I don’t want to start the series. Not remembering that men are victims as well. Uh, I did not want to say that I’m a victim.
I did not want to say that I was at fault, but I… that’s what I was gonna say was I know now how I was at fault and my fault is that I’m a co-dependent and I don’t even know what that meant. Uh, no one ever understood how I was the only one in my family that… and have mental problems and the one interested how I survived, how did you become successful, how did you get a job and you have a child? Nobody really understood it. I think it’s all due to this co-dependent role that I took on when we were younger and I, I never looked, I always have my head in the sand. I never looked at my childhood, I just buried it, and then I just went about my life. I wasn’t gonna use that as an excuse to hold me back and in marrying it I didn’t know that, that the people I was selecting in my life, or Narcissus like my mother and my mother just passed and I loved my mother, I think she did the best she could… she did not have a mother, her mother was murdered in front of her when she was nine.
Now that I look back and now that she’s gone, I think I’m free see more about myself and I’m doing a lot of work, a lot of coaching, a lot of therapy and I’m really trying to understand.
My role in life, not just in this, it’s how do I pick the people, how do I keep them in my life and when you’re co-dependent, you don’t wanna hurt anyone and when someone shows you attention you take it for exactly how you would show attention and how you would give love someone that’s giving you that much. You know, love bombing in the beginning and rushing into mice right after that, you just think, “Wow this is great, I’m so happy I found my dream, but it’s never a dream. And most of the time what I am finding is, it’s a nightmare. And your friends are not going to understand, they’re gonna blame you, they’re gonna call you crazy, they’re gonna say that you were in it, and he was so happy you guys were so happy, everything was fine, and almost blame you when in fact it’s something that you just don’t know what happened to yourself. You’re sitting here, you’re just wondering What did I do, what just happened, why am I so lucky? Why do I unlucky? Why do I keep picking the same people… why is it that I’m taking less than I deserve, because I do deserve a lot and I thought If I just loved them enough that I would change them, and maybe not change them so much, but help them can’t help them can’t change them and you have to listen to their actions, much more than their words. They’re charmer their colors, and so when they say something, it is not real, and the only proof that we’re ever going to have about that is to look at what they do, not what they say. And if I had looked at what they’ve done and not made every single excuse because they have excuses. Oh, I went through a terrible divorce.
Oh, I didn’t know better. Oh, whatever it is, it’s bullshit. I spoke to three axes, ex-wife and he did the exact same thing to her and that was another thing he triangulated about was making me against her, so that we would never talk so that I would never find out the truth, and he didn’t win that one, and I have no regrets about talking to that woman and I am thankful that I learned the truth and I don’t think that many people approve of that decision that I made, but it’s my choice, this is my life.
I am the one flying every fucking day for a month? I am the one sitting here and a free to go outside a free to see my friends feeling isolated, alone, scared, and I’m making a video and I moving him by myself, and that’s weird by itself.
I spend all day long listening to YouTube videos all day, I work and then in the car on my way to places, I just plug in my iPad to my speakers, and I listen to another video and there’s some really good people out there and I’m gonna put the link in the bottom down here to who I recommend highly for you to get more information. I’m a newbie at this, I am a… as rock can be, “I am not healed, I do not understand it, I have so much therapy ahead of me, but I’m not gonna take this sitting down, I am not gonna let another person re-my life.
I think that that I’m guilty of is loving the wrong people not understanding the difference. Just like my mother, she didn’t understand what love is, she did not to be a mother. And a single way that I knew how to love, and I was back to my sport and I feel like I’m being re-victimized by some of my friends who have judged me and I’m here to tell everybody that he didn’t do anything wrong. And if you blow some parents because of being in a narcissistic relationship and may be falling apart like so many of us have, umm, that you’re not alone, and maybe those friends weren’t really good friends. Think about it, you’re in this narcissistic relationship with psycho-man, or psycho-woman and you’ve endured abuse.
You’ve endured it, over and over and you didn’t even know it. Rushing intimacy, love bombing. These are the first two and we’re gonna keep on going because there’s so many that you need to know about. And this is my story. These are true stories of the two nurses that I have been with, and I am a recovering not a beast person. I don’t even know the proper terms ’cause it’s so new, and I hope and I pray that if there’s any way that my stories meaning on to you or can make something that I said relate to what you’re going through all that matters and to just be with you and I will talk about red flag number three tomorrow.
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