In order to move on to the next phase of your life you need to go deep inside and really think. Get past all the shock, hurt, anger, fear, and confusion and look to see what did this narcissist teach me. You know everything happens for a reason and if we don’t learn it we will be taught it again.
Transcription:
Hi there, this is Tracy and I’m adding this extra piece to the video that is about to come after this little blurb. But I thought that I should say this. And in regard to the lessons that we should be learning and looking for in our nurses relationship once we get past the pain and the fear and the anger and the hurt and the confusion we need to look inside, we need to see what did they teach us? It doesn’t have to be great things, it doesn’t have to be that they taught us about love, they might have just taught us about assholes. But what I wanna remind you of is that sometimes when we ask God for a for patience, he gives us a line at the bank.
Seriously. So think of that when you’re looking at what lesson you learned with your narcissists, because in finding that Listen, you you will find peace if you don’t learn the lesson, and you don’t look deep deep inside, I guess, what you’re gonna get it again. And this is not that I listen, we want twice. I wouldn’t mind like a lesson on how I should be laying on the beach, and a way twice this ship, we do not need twice to search inside. As you’re learning all of this nurses of stuff such inside and see exactly what did you learn so that it doesn’t happen again.
Reenters asked between my mother, which I don’t talk very often, on a perspective. He is gone and she was an artist didn’t know what the office… so it’s in a lightning year, right? So my mother was an artist, and my second husband and my boyfriend since my marriage.
I just kill the buck the bright light are me and the logs are lying or it’s so cool. So, people are asking me to think about the three nurses in my life and in order to heal, I have to really get honest with myself, I have to get right down in the gutter and understand things that I didn’t understand my own life, but the exercise was to look inside and think of these three nurses and think of What did I get from them.
We’re gonna have enough we’re gonna talk about this over and over until we dont.
I have to get this all out, it’s okay, this is helping me, and I know that if you can find a support group, or if you can find some help then you will talk and talk and talk and remember all these things and get real angry. Or what we have to do, is we have to look at what did we learn from them? And I can think about starting with my mother when I learned from my mother what kind of mother I didn’t want to be, and it said to say, but every year on Mother’s Day and her birthday I struggled to find cards.
I would just like go up and down the Youth Day cards, or… so you are wonderful. Nothing made any sense to me about my mother. I couldn’t find a card that was me, I was honest.
Because I would end up getting her one that just was bullshit, it was funny, it blessed a card, and every mother dreamed up getting about how wonderful you are, and you’re my rock, and all that stuff. But you have to look at what they taught you. And she taught me what I didn’t want to be, and I knew that wait before I knew she was in areas when I was raising my son. He’s the do now, but when I was raising him and she didn’t see us very often, but no, she won very far away, but when she did see us… she would always tell me that I was, umm, cuddling him, then I was too nice and I was trying to be a best friend that I shouldn’t do the things I was doing in The Amboy party or make a Pokemon ate whatever it was, it was too much, I was gonna spoil him. He was a mom as boy and me, what she said there was a put down to me right, but I didn’t waver, I kept being the parent, I wanted to be, and I kept being a parent that I wish she had been… she hated it when I would compare her to Prince others, and I’d say, “Why can’t you come for Christmas? Everyone use grandchild. He’s opening presence, too, it’s such a cute age and she just wouldn’t care. She didn’t really wanna be a part of her lives. But I learned everything I didn’t want to be, and I was a better mother, because of it, so that’s in her now if I look at my first husband, and he’s not a arises, but I’m looking back and just kind of adding him into the bottle. Maria when I was pretty young, I was so young that I don’t even remember what kind of car I had at the time, but the mirror were hanging up and I just ran was like looked with the court and versus a swinging as I drove and it was like scratching the whole door-to-door head over a base theme and I just had it like that for a year, I didn’t care, I was three fricking years old, didn’t matter, it was jump record and it’s swinging. So when I married my first husband that was the first thing that he had to do, he had to get that car fixed, he had to get the married and the door because that wasn’t responsible in the end of the divorce. Ten years later, mother, his child, he actually came and added that expense of fixing my car when we first got married to his side of the table and he wanted it back, kidding, he really did. I have just been through the mail. But what I learned with that husband was responsibility.
And it wasn’t just the mirror hanging off my car. I learned to be a responsible adult.
It was great.
To x. I think I learned about the world, I had really never been far and coming from Connecticut down to Florida, but that was a big vacation that was a big trip because we mostly summered in Connecticut, and we Summered in the Adirondack so we didn’t travel much. My clean can ever remember being on a plane with my sisters or my parents. I could bring up say neither one. So I learn to see the world with two X and I learned that money isn’t important, and money doesn’t make somebody, they try to show me that money could buy you money makes a person better. I remember when I was first married to him, his parents told me that I could not use the T. I’ve been using for ten years, I had to use the family accountant and yeah, that’s because they were… so special they were very Lionel we would go to Argentina, a vacationing for Christmas and go for a few weeks to their flat. So when we were there in Argentina, its summer in December, so it’s really hot. And they would tell my son, who was a tenor, at the time that he would not allow to are short.
The entire country could be wearing shorts. It’s summer, it’s 90 degrees, but not the way they were. You see, we show the people how to dress, we by the example so that meant he had to wear “boshin shoes. The kinetic teenager wears to a graduation or a wedding and that’s it. They made him wear, that the entire time. Podemos sneakers. I could wear them to the pool or flip pops, but he could not or it anywhere else, he also to wear long pants and a bottom, not shirt I ever tried to have your teenager were a bit upset. I think he’s gonna rebel against up the rest of his free in life, and I don’t blame him anyway. That was two x. I think I learned about the world, and learned responsibility, and then my last lesson is three Cs. Be boyfriend from hell abusive and really, really durable person. What I learned, what I can look at is that because of his grandpa Ali because of his major brain Buck, I found myself, it pushed me to see the power in here. I don’t know, one to three, “what the hell are you doing girl? Do you not see that you should not let people treat you like this? And that’s what I learned from three certain didn’t learn about low. I didn’t learn about anything I knew everything before he got there, and I did learn to love myself in a different way. I would say I love myself, I would be like I love myself and I do a talk about self. I Queen just don’t picture it. Oh, free were, that wasn’t self-love, so well of was standing for yourself planning up and caring.
So when you think about your narcissist, I want you to look, what did you learn? Maybe I didn’t learn yet, but even if it’s not a positive thing, something like my mother, not wanting to be like her. If we can find hope inside of ourselves for the reason, but these people were in our life. There is a reason, it if you believe in God, if you believe in spirits if you believe in destiny if you believe that everything happens for a reason, there was a reason, maybe we didn’t learn it yet.
Maybe you have more to learn. Think about what this person thought you that won’t be good for you, but then this is good for you. It’s important that you see the value, if you keep gaining. Why did this happen? Why did I spend what it is open? You’re never gonna get it. You have to do the inside work and analyze. Why did this happen and what did I get from them go or bad? There’s a reason that you were in your life.
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