When you are learning about what happened and who this person really was that has caused you harm. Its very hard for family and friends who have no idea what you have been through to understand narcissist abuse. You need validation from a community that understands you.
Go to NarcissistAbuseSupport.com to get help.
Submit your story to our website to get the word out about what you have learned. Join meetups, facebook groups and get counseling from a qualified counselor.
Transcription:
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There this is tracy and today I’m going to talk to you about
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Getting validation, and how important that is for us as recovering
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abuse victims to
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Really find a community really find
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people that understand you and understand
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What it is to be within our system and the feelings that you’re going to experience?
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When you learn this there are different stages that we’re going to take
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that are going to be in the healing process and the education is a really big part of it, so
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What I’d like to talk to you about is the questions that I get asked all the time
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Now that I’ve got a Youtube channel and a support group
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people are always asking me am I with a narcissist is this person a
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Narcissist and
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the answer to that is
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We will probably never know
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But whether you’re with a narcissistic sociopath a psychopath cluster B personality type
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What you want to look at is actually?
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How do they make you feel you don’t need a label?
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To identify the behaviors of the person you’re with you just need to understand
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that
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They’re treating you like shit
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something sense because
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their label doesn’t make a difference their behaviors are so
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Intertwined jable and and the things that they do are so predictable that
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Does a label matter not so much right to me? I think the name [is] not important. It’s
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important that you understand how you feel you learn and understand that and
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when your friends and your family don’t understand that is when you have to take action to make some changes in your life, and
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After having your world collapse around you?
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being in a describe the struct of a relationship like this um
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You just need to understand and talk to people that don’t think you’re crazy because your friends and your family are going to [think] that
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particularly when you are in the beginning stages when you are just learning about
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narcissist abuse and you’re analyzing is my person a
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narcissist and what are the red flags and what are my vulnerabilities, and what are my accountabilities, so
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The best thing is to surround yourself with community
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It’s often I hear people that tell me that they can’t eat. They can’t sleep
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They don’t want to leave the house, and this is really important
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Because we really don’t know what happened. So let’s look at some of the things you could do to
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learn more about narcissist abuse and
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You can make the judgment. It’s not medical if you decide that your ex-husband is a narcissist
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there’s no proof and they will probably never ever go to a doctor or
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therapist that believes that about them I
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Have seen them go to
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therapists and as soon as someone isn’t on their side they abort and leave so he
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important thing to understanding that
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This diagnosis that you’re going to make his your own use
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you need to educate yourself and
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My journey started on YouTube and I can tell you that
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through the YouTube Community I
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Really got my curiosity
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Opened up. I learned things that I knew nothing about in my life before
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counseling is a really important thing now a
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Normal counselor is not going to necessarily know what narcissist abuse is so it’s really important that you find someone that really
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specializes in this kind of abuse
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Because having the right counselor having the right life coach
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whoever’s going to help you you want them to be apathetic and
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Maybe even understand it from a personal perspective
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Counselors can do more harm than good if they are really not aware, so please be [careful] of that
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There’s a plethora of books so many books whether you’ve been in a narcissist relationship or you?
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Have a work situation
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Or it was apparent our family of origin
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these are so important there are books on every single topic keep that in mind, okay, because
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even if you can’t afford to go by the book we have this thing called the library and
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They have books there that you can get and take out and learn
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There are courses online a lot of the youtubers have developed their own little courses
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love fraud
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Calm has little one-off $25 courses
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And I highly recommend if there’s a specialty area that if you’re going through [a] divorce that you just hyper learn everything
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Learn to protect yourself really key and really important
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There are [Facebook] groups that can help you I have one for my narcissist abuse support group
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We’re just building but there are some like antioch anson has one called spam
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And it’s a closed group, and it is a safe place
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It is a place where people
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Can go and say I really miss him today
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And you’ll get people that will talk to you about what to do and how you’re feeling, they’ll validate
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Exactly how you’re feeling because they felt it, too
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so use that Facebook group as a really good place to hold yourself and feel safe and
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Validation that what you’re going through that you are not alone really key there are forums out there
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I have one on my narcissist abuse
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support.com website again
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It’s a brand new thing and I’m learning how to use it and how to be able to interact with everybody
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There are meetups in your area on my website narcissist abuse support calm. I’ve created a list of
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All the YouTubers that I can possibly found if you find more, and you know of other ones, please let no
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It’ll add them to my list
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I’ve added all the meetup groups from around the country and that’s important because it’s in person
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It’s it’s one
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in a group and you’re there for a common cause
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so
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important to understand that power
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when we’re looking at Youtube or we’re looking at a support forum I want you to look at the comments below because
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Those comments could be the answer for you if you want to engage
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very often the community
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You know comes back in and helps you and offers you support
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They do understand it male or female
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They understand [what] you’ve been through, and it’s it’s important that you look at those comments
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interact with those comments
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that’s how you’re going to heal and
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The last thing is to write your story
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Whether you write it, and throw it away, whether you write it and submit it to be put on my narcissist abused website
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I think our stories are what help other people heal, we all can relate to different things in our life
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We can all relate to different people in our life different age groups and different
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personalities, right
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But the story is a story if your story is about divorcing a narcissist
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More power to you
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let’s tell others the journey that you have come on and the journey of what you done to learn about it and
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How your story can help others?
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Take a little shortcut
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Maybe not make one mistake that you made
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So share your story with me share the story on my website anonymous or not
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But just know [that] together in a bigger number. Oh
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We will help each other here
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so if you’re looking [for] validation these should be some really great ideas on where you’re going to start and
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That’s all I got thank you
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