Hi! My Name is Tracy A. Malone, founder of Narcissist Abuse Support and I’m here to help! 🙂
Transcription:
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Help me out here when life gives you lemons you
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Make lemonade right?
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Sometimes the lemons are fresh
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and sometimes there are lemons that are from our past and they they get stored in our brain and
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the lemonade is slow in coming and sometimes the lemons are colossal a big and
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Today I’m going to talk about this a lot giant lemon
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And we’re gonna call this emotional abuse
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Have you ever heard that victims of emotional abuse often say that they didn’t even know they were being abused I
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Never knew what narcissists abuse was until I was shell-shocked
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From the shame of being falsely arrested
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by an ex-boyfriend that had a very big lie to cover I
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Now know that I was a target before I was a victim
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He used his charm asking all the right questions to determine my vulnerability
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My personality type of being a codependent people-pleasing trusting soul
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And I’ve always held a special place in my heart for the weak, and I thought with enough love I could fix them I
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Now know that it’s not possible
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My journey has not been in vain
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And I know that I have sort of found my calling if you will and this is to help educate
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victims of the red flags the behaviors and the torment that we all share
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My story is one of hope and resilience
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And while being arrested was the worst day of my life
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Because of that day
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Bottom of the bottom I
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Was given a second chance to rise from the ashes
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So today I choose to educate you on what a victim of narcissist abuse feels like
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Let’s get started
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Confused
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Our abuser has always been different in front of people than when we’re with them alone and things don’t often make sense
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And we never got answers
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We feel isolated
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Over time they didn’t like our friends or our family, and they wanted to just be with us
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None of knew us knew that this is control training 101
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I
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Feel isolated because now we have trouble trusting and the crazy
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Gaslighting is a manipulation to make us feel crazy, so it’s mind control
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We feel embarrassed and ashamed why did we stay?
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How could it be not know better
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We feel anxious
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We have just learned how to walk on eggshells, and we’re reading for that sign that this is gonna get ugly tonight
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We fear sleep. We’re anxious when we lay down on our heartbeats right into our throats
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We feel depression so I start to sink in
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List for my life, I once had is
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now filled with pain and fear will I ever be normal will I ever be able to start again and
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Am I unlovable we feel defeated
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So tired of the battle, it’s like a rabid dog
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Just coming after you again and again
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And the police don’t care restraining orders are being laughed at as the narcissist baits and tests us every day
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And it seems like no one understands
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we feel lonely he isolated me from my family and my friends, and he trained you lated them to hate me and
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To the others a simple smear campaign was plotted
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But it was enough to put down in my friends and have them walk away because there was simply too much drama
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We feel numb
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Not like drugged numb, but like I’m floating over someone else’s life numb
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my opinion never mattered and that
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Invalidation has taught me not to feel
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We feel foggy, and we can’t seem to focus I wonder am I just forgetful
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Feel revitalized by the police and by the legal system as
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The narcissist laughs all the way home knowing that his false tales and victim status make his story much more believable
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That’s how a victim feels and here’s what I’ve learned that I share with my audience I
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Am NOT alone there are over a hundred and fifteen million victims in the United States alone, and I have just begun
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There are so many to educate
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Our children need to understand what healthy relationships are our police and judges need to understand that abuse victims
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Endure in the hands of a narcissist trying to abuse the legal system
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to further abuse their victims I
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Have learned my own
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responsibility in staying in two abusive relationships
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I stayed because I was abused as a child and I buried these memories deep inside
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Because of that I have abandonment issues and that fear kept me in these abusive relationships
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and I needed to learn boundaries because I was never taught them as a child I
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Learned that self love means listening to your intuition and that little voice inside
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that they’re actually warnings that I must start listening to I
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Have studied the power of forgiveness to heal wounds
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Not to erase or condone their actions
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But rather detach the emotional charge from these offenses so that the events do not
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Control my feelings or my life. I
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Learned that. I am brave and strong
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And when someone says to me look at the lemonade that you’ve made I say
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Screw lemonade I’m making a difference. This is Tracy that is all. I got Thanks
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