Narcissistic Behaviors You Missed – Protect Yourself

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My new lens is picking up examples of narcissistic behaviors that I read about in psychology today. Then examples came to my head of things I missed. Picking through the garbage of your brain learn to identify so you can protect yourself from a narcissist. Four narcissistic behaviors as common as we now know they are were things we excepted as differences. We reacted, we were pissed but we listened to their excuses and forgave them. These memories have to be found. Dig deep

Transcription:

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hi there this is Tracy and tonight I

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want to talk about the fact that we

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probably saw more red flags than we knew

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because a narcissist can’t hide their

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behavior and even though much of it in

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the beginning is all sunny and bright

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they start to throw us kernels and of

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course what do we do we forget them we

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listen to their excuses

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and we don’t make them be accountable

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for them and that’s our fault that is

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our part of dis responsibility is that

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we didn’t set boundaries and they crust

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there was no crossing because we didn’t

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have that does that make sense I was

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reading an article in Psychology Today

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and they actually have four behaviors

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that we should always be aware of and

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I’m going to talk about these behaviors

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and I’m going to give you examples and

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I’m going to tell you how we have to

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protect ourselves so according to

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Psychology Today

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they actually used a term from the

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military say that this is the narcissus

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policy and this is the way that they do

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it they military terms called scorched

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earth right and what that means is like

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the villages blend there is no more

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village the narcissus comes in and

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doesn’t care what he got he just

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destroys besides lying we all have had

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allies and we have to look back and see

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what these were and how we accepted them

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and how we were tricked because there’s

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two parts to that Ray we were tricked

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and that’s the part that we accepted we

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accepted their lives so according to

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psychology today and they’re quoting dr.

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Craig Malkin I don’t know if he’s ever

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seen his book but it’s a great book he

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says that

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the narcissist plays emotional hot

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potato and what that means is that they

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project and they are very dismissive and

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they lack any kind of connections but I

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are all about that I think that they

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pretend that there’s a connection the

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other thing they say is that a

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narcissist withdraws and then he attacks

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if you make a demand on him and that is

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exactly what I’m going to talk to you

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about in a little while with some of my

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examples a narcissist is vindictive to

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the absolute max I mean they are just

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like they will get you in a divorce and

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destroy you for no reason at all so they

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are also indifferent to any kind of

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emotional outcome so if you’re going to

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be destroyed their children are going to

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be homeless they don’t care emotionally

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its snap on to the next they don’t

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really care so those are some of the

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behaviors and I have so many things that

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I can I can kind of nail down for you

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things that I should have known that he

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would always take me on dates to

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different places he would take me to the

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mountains he would take me to wine

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country he would take me to Denver to

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find the top ten cupcake places and so

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if I look back at that now why was I

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never about or I didn’t think I wasn’t

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allowed I just thought he was doing

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something really special then I met you

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know the next supply many of you have

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seen the videos of her and I together

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and she told me that all the times that

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she would come here and stay with him

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for up to a month he would never take

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her to the town that he lived in it is

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the cutest little town

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rooftop summer bars and he had never

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taken her there and then I look back and

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I think about I had some best friends

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come from Connecticut and we were right

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there down the street from his house in

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that town and he would not come and meet

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my friends and I thought that was weird

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that he did want to meet them anyway but

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it’s really that they were there because

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who knows how many other people he was

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with three that’s the part that we have

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to start to add two and two together and

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I didn’t so I’m using these examples to

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try to help you okay we’re going to talk

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about the withdrawing and I called it

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the darkness but there’s a lot of other

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names out there that people call it and

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to me it would always happen after we

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were like having a great time if a month

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had you know slipped in there and we

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didn’t do as much but then we met this

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whole weekend together and it was

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absolutely mind-boggling great then he

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would just disappear

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there was a time that I was it had just

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been after Christmas and I had spent

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Christmas Eve Christmas Day with him and

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his son and then I fell taking out the

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garbage like two days after Christmas

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fell and on the snow cracked my head

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open and had to go to the hospital for

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concussion he actually I called them and

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he said go to the hospital and I’m in

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hospital and I texted him and yet

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absolutely no empathy he had nothing in

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fact I came home from the hospital I

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couldn’t talk on the phone last abut I

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came home from the hospital and um

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reached out to him and reached out for

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him and it was three days before I heard

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from him this right after Christmas we

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were just together everything was

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wonderful and then I go to the hospital

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and he doesn’t even bother like calling

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me or returning my calls

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out he was with his child and he says he

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did a 72 hour marathon of playing video

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games like they didn’t go to sleep they

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eat pizza and drink Pepsi to stay awake

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and just kept bringing in the frozen

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pizzas and that is why he couldn’t check

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up up on me and when he you know finally

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came over I I was pissed and I know you

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could have come over and just say what

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what could I have done when you could

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have sat down next to me and held my

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hand and watch TV with me you know there

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doesn’t have to be a reason but you come

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over that doesn’t make any sense to me

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and I took it I took it I took it a

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ticket and it was like a big mistake

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because when he hurt himself I came over

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I had to go to the store I had to buy me

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brandt bands and ice packs and all of

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these things medicine and and I hadn’t

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paid for it myself

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and then sit there and make him dinner

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and take care of him put his foot up he

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was like a king and I was a servant

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these are the things we have to look

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back on what did you do for your

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narcissist if this was a romantic

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relationship on marriage you probably

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did a lot because we’re caregivers if

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this was your parent you probably did

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everything you possibly could to get

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them to love you you always did things

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right

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you you were always on the line of moral

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behavior and think about was that real

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narcissists and their behaviors we know

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about it wait long time before we start

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to research this we just block it out

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and I’ve got another video I am going to

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make right after this and it’s going to

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be about gas lighting and how you can

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prevent gas lighting and how you can

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save yourself this is Tracy I don’t know

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if I’ve mentioned but I have my

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narcissist abuse website

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it’s narcissist abuse calm and it is

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dedicated to supporting survivors it’s

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got all these resources by state lead up

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groups

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it’s got my favorite books my favorite

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issues there’s lots of stuff out there

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all the red flags are explained and

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people write blogs so visit my site and

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if you haven’t subscribed please

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subscribe

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I’m on a roll this is the best week

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ever thank you

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