When you are a child of a narcissistic mother the hallmark holiday of mother’s day is always hard. Cards and gifts seem wrong unless someone finds a card that says what WE really want to say to a narcissist mother.
In this video I will share the answers to questions most commonly asked about a narcissistic mother.
Transcription:
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hi, Barry, this is Tracy and
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Tonight, I am sort of getting this feeling
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it’s may and Mother’s day is right around the corner and
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I don’t know
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About you whether you had a narcissistic mother I?
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Did and I didn’t know it all of this whole discovery about my life is it’s kind of coming
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to a head [here], and it’s it’s been about 18 months now since my mother passed away and
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I was just sitting here and kind of thinking. I saw a commercial for
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cards and and it flashed me back to
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The difficulty I used to have to pick a card for my mother for her birthday, or for mother’s day. I?
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think since I’m probably 18 and since I moved out I
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usually saw her I
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Would say two days a year for [a] lunch if that and um I?
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Always wanted [to] have that mother and have mother’s day and do normal mother’s day things I
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Loved my mother
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In fact I clawed and clawed and spent my whole life
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trying to
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Get her to love me
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Try to get her attention. I was like the shock-jock [of] the family when I was growing up
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when my son was born
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She lived in Mexico
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and
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I sent her a whole stack of pictures [of] my son
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And I sent a picture of his dirty diaper
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I printed it and and she opened them in front of her friends and was mortified
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but that was the kind of humor that I
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and I
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wished that she
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Would have appreciated it. [I] have two sisters a stepsister and a stepbrother and
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Stepdad and I have a son so I am a mother
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At this time of the year for most of my life, I have felt like Motherless I
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Kind of feel [like] it didn’t have a family. So when I was married to [my]
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Ex-Husband his family became my family and
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Now I know how incredibly crazy
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His family is and that
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that charade of
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Mother’s Day Glee was all pretense
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But I know for a lot [of] you out [there]
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This is a really hard time of the year
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when you have a narcissistic mother they
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Generally
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Treat you like crap
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Make you fight for their love nothing is ever right?
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Nothing, you can do is right nothing
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You can say is right the person you married isn’t right the way you’re raising your children isn’t right?
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and they’re really happy to tell you that and I don’t know if it’s because they
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Want to beat us down or that they are so unhappy with themselves that?
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they
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Choose to mother this way. I know that when I had my son, and I know about you. Do you have a kid I?
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Have gone so far to the left wing wing right wing of raising a child from what my mother?
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was I try to do the complete opposite and
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My mother would only criticize me and tell me that I was mothering my child and that
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He was going to go off to [college] and be attached to my leg
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she couldn’t be proud of me that I was a good mother and a cub scout leader and
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I
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Had a good time with my son. I read him books, and I don’t remember any of that with my mom my mom
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Saw her mother get killed by her stepfather
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murdered with a gun in front of her when she was like 12, and then she was put into dozens of Foster care homes and
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Very often when she would leave her school
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She [would] have to kind of take everything that she owned because she didn’t know if she’s going back to that house
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so she lived in this fear and
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Of course she had no role model, and so that is what I took
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my entire life as the
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cognitive dissidence of
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What I wanted and [what] she was and why she was this I post this to you I?
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think we have a Choice [I]
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Know I could have been her as a mother I could have
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Just let my kid play. I could not care if he fell I could
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Be completely self-absorbed
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But I chose chose to be a better parent, but don’t think that
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that
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Has anything to do with?
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her
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that has to do with me wanting to
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be a better mother and
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I’m not perfect. [oh], no, I
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Love my child and I have given him a very good life, and I know that he knows that
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he’s loved, but I’ve made mistakes and I know that my
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Ex-husband
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we called 2x I
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Know marrying him now really screwed up my son
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it was too soon after [I] had divorced my son’s father and
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my
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2x
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Was his stepfather for 10 of [eighteen] years
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[then] never talked to him again, and I know my son blamed me [for] that
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He almost wanted to drop out of college [for] the first two years. He was pissed and angry
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I’m so afraid that the things that I have done
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Loving and falling in love with the wrong people in my life because I was used to this abuse by my mother I
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Worry that it’s going to ruin him in some way I’m worried that
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He’s not going to know how to love I
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just I
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Know that mother’s day is a hard time for all of us, and this is what’s coming up for me
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so I just thought I would share it with you and
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Just see if anyone else has these feelings if you’re the mom with a narcissist was really hard this time of year
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some of you might have to go to like Mother’s day dinner at their house and
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You know it’s a credit great day for you, so I?
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Would love to know how you handle mother’s day
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This is tracy. That’s [all] I got a great night
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