Did your narcissist kick up the control on vacations? Even if they wanted to control where you went, ate or what you did. I hear this a lot as people start to unravel the reality of your fake life. Here is what I figured out this week.
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Hi there. This is tracy and today. I would like to talk to you about
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Traveling with a narcissist and I just occurred to me the other day as I was
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thinking about the trip that I had taken a few years back with my ex-husband and
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I’m starting to analyze just things when things pop into my head. I’m analyzing and thinking
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What did that mean and?
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I’m not making up meanings
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I’m trying to understand things and I’m encouraging you to do this as well as things come along that
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seemed normal before if we take that extra time to Pete down dive in and
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Think about it and what I’m thinking about was
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traveling with my
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Ex-Husband and his family and
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We did a lot of traveling for a married family
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with my in-laws and
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everything was
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Generally on
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their dime for one thing so then they had control and
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we didn’t have control of where we were going or where we were eating or
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Who we could see or what we would do everything
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Was controlled and I was told by my husband that that’s just the way
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That our family does it you you have to accept this if you’re going to come on this vacation
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Before I had met him they had been to places like Cuba before people could go there
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they’ve been to the galapagos, and you know rented a
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Private yacht and like slept with the turtles and all kinds of really cool things and so
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They opened up my world to traveling and doing things that I had never had the opportunity
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To do and I’m very grateful that the experiences that I had with them
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Enriched my life, and showed me a lot more of the world
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but as I look back that controlling kind of
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behavior of my mother-in-law in particular
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She controlled what we wore what we dressed in
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And a lot of the times we were going down to South America
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they had a
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Flat in Bono Saris, and so that was sort of our base point
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we would go down there for at least two weeks at a time and
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We’d stay there then we go to
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Uruguay and go to the beach there, or we’d go to brazil or we’d go to
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it gives you falls, which we did the brazilian mind and the
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Argentinean mind, so we have a lot of experience. We had a lot of fun, but
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Everything was planned to the minute. They’d be
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The clothing we had to wear
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When we were going how we were getting there, and I’m not complaining about this
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I’m just saying this is how it worked in their family
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the mother ship made all the plans and made all the decisions and
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Already knew what she wanted to do and where she wanted to take us, so of course we went along
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But it was in that control that
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There was always in fighting in fighting in the family in fighting with my husband and his parents over
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Them demanding that my son wear black shiny shoes and long pants in the middle of summer in Argentina
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because that’s the way rich people do it and we set the example, but he was nine and
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you know he wasn’t comfortable in the black shiny shoes and so my husband tried to voice that opinion to his parents and
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It wasn’t pretty there was fighting
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we always went with my sister-in-law and there was fighting and
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She was made to feel as she always is
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like a scapegoat like the unloved one not the perfect child like my husband was he was the
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Golden Child and so she would always
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Go into a deep depression crawling up into a little ball
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crying and stuff and
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It wasn’t a healthy place for me. I didn’t realize how much anxiety I had
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Until the first time I came back from that
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Two-week trip I got really really sick and I
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Think I’m just never experienced. I didn’t travel with my own family
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I’ve never been on a plane with anyone in my family except for my child
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but
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24/7 having somebody there it’s it’s kind of scary. It’s really like the control
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3x and I
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Have only been on four planes together
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But what I noticed in the airport
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And this goes back to be the empathy and the sympathy and the I’m really with you kind of a thing
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But we’re walking through these airports, and you know you’re rushing to your gate
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He would be 1/2 an escalator ahead of me, and I’m dragging my bag. He’s dragging his bag, but like
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No accountability to look back and like wait for me somebody cut me off
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So it was all about him it was all about control. It was all like he was this independent person and maybe
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Walking farther ahead of me in case someone in the airport one of his other girlfriends saw him
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It was really weird behavior to me
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I’ve been in airports with plenty of people plenty of friends and and you don’t like Abandon them. You don’t just like say oh
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I’m over here you’re over there. Are you together or are you not so there’s a control when you’re traveling with an ARc and there’s
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Always whenever you’re talking with anyone any kind of group. There’s just compromise there’s
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You know this is what we have in mind. You’re going to cook dinner this night. We’re going to do it this night
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We’ll all come together and make a plan
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but I think because
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Narcissists are so self-centered and so controlling that they have to control every single thing
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about a travel experience and
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I
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Don’t think that
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I’d like to hear if any of you have had this experience as well
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Because I could have just had like the most fucked up
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You know in law family
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but I’m pretty sure that all of the symptoms of being a narcissist such as
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You know no empathy no empathy that I was struggling a little bit farther behind
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No
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accountability to anything and lots and lots of control
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So I think because of that it made traveling I remember
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One time I went to disney with my son and his dad and my son was like five and so
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We wanted to get into the park. This was like a dream come true
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you know five-year-old you’d still be in a little stroller thing and we wanted to get in the park, but my
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controlling husband
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Couldn’t go
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Into the park until he pooped I know that’s such a stupid thing and I’m saying this like it
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But that was control that was like when my needs are met
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Then we can do that when I have everything I need
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Then I can open up and come in and enjoy Disney with my son
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So that’s just a little weird thing on why I threw that in there. It just popped in there, but it is about control and
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In these videos I would really appreciate your support. I have a patreon page, so it’s Patreon Tracy a malone and
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For those of you who are looking to see how you can help definitely listen to the ad at the beginning of the thing?
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Just to give you an idea of what that means to us is
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with about a hundred thousand plus
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120,000 views I got $100 so it’s not like we
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are getting like herbs and herbs of money for you to watch that commercial and
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so
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If you want to that’s a really good way, and I am available for private coaching
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You can find a link down below if you are stuck if you are just confused and you just don’t know where to go
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I can be your ears. I can be that person that
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Validates everything that you’re feeling
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Explain some of the things that are happening to you
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So if you are interested in that I would really love to talk to you you can find that information on my website
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I’ll put the link below
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narcissist abuse support comm and I
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Look forward to having many more videos with you guys if you can’t afford to support me even with a dollar that’s totally cool
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Too I get it. I’ve been there. I’m there but
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If there’s anyone out there that wants to buy me a cup of coffee
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Throw it onto a chair and I appreciate it. So have a great day
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This is tracy and let’s have a narcissist free day. Thank you
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