Did your narcissist kick up the control on vacations? Even if they wanted to control where you went, ate or what you did. I hear this a lot as people start to unravel the reality of your fake life. Here is what I figured out this week.
This is my first time sharing my patreon info, this request is because I really want to build my website to be a better resource, help people create meetups ideas. Write a book, create an author donate program to provide leaders a copy of the book for the group. Really please do not feel like you are being pressured. (Codependent coming out right…)
Thanks for listening
0:00:00.450,0:00:04.920
Hi there. This is tracy and today. I would like to talk to you about
0:00:07.149,0:00:12.809
Traveling with a narcissist and I just occurred to me the other day as I was
0:00:14.080,0:00:19.920
thinking about the trip that I had taken a few years back with my ex-husband and
0:00:21.640,0:00:27.779
I’m starting to analyze just things when things pop into my head. I’m analyzing and thinking
0:00:29.349,0:00:31.349
What did that mean and?
0:00:31.630,0:00:33.360
I’m not making up meanings
0:00:33.360,0:00:40.110
I’m trying to understand things and I’m encouraging you to do this as well as things come along that
0:00:42.100,0:00:48.450
seemed normal before if we take that extra time to Pete down dive in and
0:00:48.610,0:00:50.999
Think about it and what I’m thinking about was
0:00:52.539,0:00:54.489
traveling with my
0:00:54.489,0:00:56.489
Ex-Husband and his family and
0:00:57.280,0:01:01.020
We did a lot of traveling for a married family
0:01:01.660,0:01:03.660
with my in-laws and
0:01:04.299,0:01:06.299
everything was
0:01:06.430,0:01:08.430
Generally on
0:01:09.100,0:01:12.839
their dime for one thing so then they had control and
0:01:13.240,0:01:17.699
we didn’t have control of where we were going or where we were eating or
0:01:18.670,0:01:21.390
Who we could see or what we would do everything
0:01:22.000,0:01:28.139
Was controlled and I was told by my husband that that’s just the way
0:01:28.600,0:01:33.989
That our family does it you you have to accept this if you’re going to come on this vacation
0:01:34.780,0:01:39.599
Before I had met him they had been to places like Cuba before people could go there
0:01:39.729,0:01:43.409
they’ve been to the galapagos, and you know rented a
0:01:44.079,0:01:51.239
Private yacht and like slept with the turtles and all kinds of really cool things and so
0:01:51.670,0:01:57.659
They opened up my world to traveling and doing things that I had never had the opportunity
0:01:57.939,0:02:03.449
To do and I’m very grateful that the experiences that I had with them
0:02:04.270,0:02:08.819
Enriched my life, and showed me a lot more of the world
0:02:10.660,0:02:15.419
but as I look back that controlling kind of
0:02:18.459,0:02:20.729
behavior of my mother-in-law in particular
0:02:22.360,0:02:25.589
She controlled what we wore what we dressed in
0:02:26.709,0:02:30.779
And a lot of the times we were going down to South America
0:02:31.450,0:02:33.430
they had a
0:02:33.430,0:02:38.520
Flat in Bono Saris, and so that was sort of our base point
0:02:38.520,0:02:42.119
we would go down there for at least two weeks at a time and
0:02:44.470,0:02:46.470
We’d stay there then we go to
0:02:47.080,0:02:51.899
Uruguay and go to the beach there, or we’d go to brazil or we’d go to
0:02:52.510,0:02:56.640
it gives you falls, which we did the brazilian mind and the
0:02:58.480,0:03:03.450
Argentinean mind, so we have a lot of experience. We had a lot of fun, but
0:03:04.690,0:03:08.729
Everything was planned to the minute. They’d be
0:03:09.519,0:03:11.519
The clothing we had to wear
0:03:12.100,0:03:16.649
When we were going how we were getting there, and I’m not complaining about this
0:03:16.650,0:03:20.130
I’m just saying this is how it worked in their family
0:03:20.709,0:03:24.779
the mother ship made all the plans and made all the decisions and
0:03:24.910,0:03:28.919
Already knew what she wanted to do and where she wanted to take us, so of course we went along
0:03:29.650,0:03:32.250
But it was in that control that
0:03:32.530,0:03:40.229
There was always in fighting in fighting in the family in fighting with my husband and his parents over
0:03:40.959,0:03:47.488
Them demanding that my son wear black shiny shoes and long pants in the middle of summer in Argentina
0:03:48.370,0:03:53.459
because that’s the way rich people do it and we set the example, but he was nine and
0:03:54.459,0:04:01.828
you know he wasn’t comfortable in the black shiny shoes and so my husband tried to voice that opinion to his parents and
0:04:02.140,0:04:04.380
It wasn’t pretty there was fighting
0:04:05.290,0:04:09.150
we always went with my sister-in-law and there was fighting and
0:04:09.760,0:04:12.480
She was made to feel as she always is
0:04:13.030,0:04:19.559
like a scapegoat like the unloved one not the perfect child like my husband was he was the
0:04:20.229,0:04:23.369
Golden Child and so she would always
0:04:24.099,0:04:27.289
Go into a deep depression crawling up into a little ball
0:04:27.930,0:04:29.930
crying and stuff and
0:04:30.090,0:04:36.290
It wasn’t a healthy place for me. I didn’t realize how much anxiety I had
0:04:36.870,0:04:39.350
Until the first time I came back from that
0:04:40.230,0:04:44.539
Two-week trip I got really really sick and I
0:04:46.200,0:04:50.479
Think I’m just never experienced. I didn’t travel with my own family
0:04:50.480,0:04:54.769
I’ve never been on a plane with anyone in my family except for my child
0:04:56.580,0:04:58.580
but
0:04:59.100,0:05:06.409
24/7 having somebody there it’s it’s kind of scary. It’s really like the control
0:05:08.070,0:05:10.070
3x and I
0:05:10.140,0:05:12.679
Have only been on four planes together
0:05:13.320,0:05:15.619
But what I noticed in the airport
0:05:15.620,0:05:21.230
And this goes back to be the empathy and the sympathy and the I’m really with you kind of a thing
0:05:21.419,0:05:26.059
But we’re walking through these airports, and you know you’re rushing to your gate
0:05:26.640,0:05:33.379
He would be 1/2 an escalator ahead of me, and I’m dragging my bag. He’s dragging his bag, but like
0:05:34.380,0:05:38.719
No accountability to look back and like wait for me somebody cut me off
0:05:39.240,0:05:46.370
So it was all about him it was all about control. It was all like he was this independent person and maybe
0:05:47.010,0:05:52.549
Walking farther ahead of me in case someone in the airport one of his other girlfriends saw him
0:05:54.030,0:05:56.239
It was really weird behavior to me
0:05:56.460,0:06:03.590
I’ve been in airports with plenty of people plenty of friends and and you don’t like Abandon them. You don’t just like say oh
0:06:03.590,0:06:10.940
I’m over here you’re over there. Are you together or are you not so there’s a control when you’re traveling with an ARc and there’s
0:06:11.910,0:06:16.700
Always whenever you’re talking with anyone any kind of group. There’s just compromise there’s
0:06:17.700,0:06:22.700
You know this is what we have in mind. You’re going to cook dinner this night. We’re going to do it this night
0:06:22.700,0:06:25.609
We’ll all come together and make a plan
0:06:26.400,0:06:28.400
but I think because
0:06:28.710,0:06:36.289
Narcissists are so self-centered and so controlling that they have to control every single thing
0:06:37.050,0:06:39.569
about a travel experience and
0:06:40.599,0:06:42.599
I
0:06:42.639,0:06:44.639
Don’t think that
0:06:45.370,0:06:48.389
I’d like to hear if any of you have had this experience as well
0:06:48.639,0:06:51.179
Because I could have just had like the most fucked up
0:06:51.310,0:06:53.020
You know in law family
0:06:53.020,0:06:57.960
but I’m pretty sure that all of the symptoms of being a narcissist such as
0:06:58.240,0:07:03.030
You know no empathy no empathy that I was struggling a little bit farther behind
0:07:04.449,0:07:06.449
No
0:07:07.090,0:07:11.039
accountability to anything and lots and lots of control
0:07:13.720,0:07:18.029
So I think because of that it made traveling I remember
0:07:20.139,0:07:27.448
One time I went to disney with my son and his dad and my son was like five and so
0:07:28.870,0:07:32.099
We wanted to get into the park. This was like a dream come true
0:07:32.099,0:07:38.908
you know five-year-old you’d still be in a little stroller thing and we wanted to get in the park, but my
0:07:39.490,0:07:41.490
controlling husband
0:07:42.819,0:07:43.990
Couldn’t go
0:07:43.990,0:07:49.259
Into the park until he pooped I know that’s such a stupid thing and I’m saying this like it
0:07:49.870,0:07:54.449
But that was control that was like when my needs are met
0:07:54.849,0:07:58.468
Then we can do that when I have everything I need
0:07:59.009,0:08:04.318
Then I can open up and come in and enjoy Disney with my son
0:08:04.509,0:08:11.249
So that’s just a little weird thing on why I threw that in there. It just popped in there, but it is about control and
0:08:12.400,0:08:19.380
In these videos I would really appreciate your support. I have a patreon page, so it’s Patreon Tracy a malone and
0:08:20.740,0:08:27.599
For those of you who are looking to see how you can help definitely listen to the ad at the beginning of the thing?
0:08:28.330,0:08:31.740
Just to give you an idea of what that means to us is
0:08:33.219,0:08:36.599
with about a hundred thousand plus
0:08:38.200,0:08:44.189
120,000 views I got $100 so it’s not like we
0:08:44.949,0:08:49.649
are getting like herbs and herbs of money for you to watch that commercial and
0:08:50.230,0:08:50.930
so
0:08:50.930,0:08:56.079
If you want to that’s a really good way, and I am available for private coaching
0:08:56.240,0:09:03.070
You can find a link down below if you are stuck if you are just confused and you just don’t know where to go
0:09:04.180,0:09:07.089
I can be your ears. I can be that person that
0:09:07.790,0:09:09.790
Validates everything that you’re feeling
0:09:10.250,0:09:13.179
Explain some of the things that are happening to you
0:09:13.370,0:09:20.049
So if you are interested in that I would really love to talk to you you can find that information on my website
0:09:20.210,0:09:22.190
I’ll put the link below
0:09:22.190,0:09:25.659
narcissist abuse support comm and I
0:09:26.330,0:09:33.790
Look forward to having many more videos with you guys if you can’t afford to support me even with a dollar that’s totally cool
0:09:33.790,0:09:36.759
Too I get it. I’ve been there. I’m there but
0:09:37.610,0:09:40.959
If there’s anyone out there that wants to buy me a cup of coffee
0:09:42.080,0:09:45.550
Throw it onto a chair and I appreciate it. So have a great day
0:09:45.550,0:09:50.589
This is tracy and let’s have a narcissist free day. Thank you