Learn how to stop being a victim of narcissist abuse. education is the number one way to stop being a victim. Once you understand the red flags and the patterns you WILL stop being a victim.
Transcription:
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Hello, everybody. This is lasalle [and] this is Tracy and
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What we’re doing is well. Tracy’s trailer. I would say we’re cooking dinner, but actually [the] truth if truth be told
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Tracy’s cooking dinner, and I’m her moral support right now
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Go Tracy go JC
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So tracy um has decked me out in this fine shirt and tracy why do you have two [of] these shirts I?
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Have two of these shirts
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and many others in my closet that my ex-husband the narcissist was such a
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Spendthrift that when we would go to stores shoe stores clothing stores. He was just like rip stuff off the
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Racks and make me try it on and if I said no he would still go and put into the counter and buy it
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so at least four or five times we’d get home, and I’m like I already have that shirt and
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He would be like well now you got [two]. So there’s thank you ex-husband I
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Don’t know [like] well. You know it were no. I do a little spoof here together for Narcissus
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How cool is it if we match?
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Mm-Hmm apparently Tracy said she’s the good one since she’s now wearing the wines am I wearing black yeah
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Sort of we decided it’s more thelma, and louise however. Yeah
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time for selfie yeah
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Exactly oh my God for matching but so good
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So tell [me] what you did today cuz you had something really did I did I am
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I have been writing a little bit of an article for elephant Journal
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so I’ve had a few things published with elephant journal before and it’s such a great platform for
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mindful living and for growth and for personal development and
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So I’ve been submitting an article. Well, it’s submitted
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An article that deals very much with um with our experience our shared experience, but also
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Coming out of that. You know moving forward now. What now, what are we going to do now and
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It’s been fun. I have very much trouble limiting myself to a thousand words
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Because obviously it’s a much bigger story than a thousand words
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but
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That’s cool, and it’s like it’s done now, so it’s it’s very exciting now wait what car wife to see it in print?
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I know well when it comes out because it’s going to you know hopefully soon. Yeah, we’ll put a link on it
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Maybe we’ll highlight it in some way just because elephant charles a great place to go and she taught me about it
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I didn’t even know until we see ya it’s a great resource as well
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And in fact even if you guys want to check it out, you should
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It has some wonderful articles not just on obviously on
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narcissists and impacts and that kind of thing
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but it’s really on moving forward on getting to the next stage of moving through pain and and
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Moving past the obstacles and the challenges of your life
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Yeah, and you what did you do miss Tracy? Well, I had a revelation
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last night actually
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Because of something that I did
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Really in this new healing stage in this new place of my life not living in fear
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And I’m going to take out your fall clothes um Gi your fall clothes
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And you have things in there and some clothing brings back memories
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so I had this wonderful pair of shoes that was my Ex aunt in law and
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I
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wanted to
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you know the memories came flying back and so I reached out to her and sent an email yesterday and
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Said I’m coming to New York
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I would love to see you [and] it was really spurred on by the fact that I had had this
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Thing [about] the shoe that she had given me and so I reached out and of course. I forgot that she is the sister
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My Ex-Father-in-law
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how could I forget that but I’m so innocent it was so just
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You know, but it really made me think in a way that I hadn’t in a while
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Okay, and action action so and maybe think about
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fact that my Ex family
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is probably going around and had flying monkeys and
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Sabotage and lied and told stories about me
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Just like it’s a smear campaign right that since I’m sure and because it’s been four years
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I really didn’t [even] think about that because I just learned about the narcissus with this jerk
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Let you know I’m up there um but yeah, I just learned about it so [I] can I’m applying all of these things
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I’m learning to 3x
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It never occurred to me that
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2x and his family did the same thing you just didn’t know it because I don’t care can I ask you a question
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Like just for me um can you tell me again? What a flying monkeys a
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flying monkey is is a term that they use it’s based on the wizard of oz that a
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Narcissist uses one of your friends to
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Almost re abuse you R
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‘victim eyes you by
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Telling them false stories kind of before you do before you get out and say your story because you’re so in shock
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they get out there and they start using these people to poison them against you and
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So you’re kind of taking someone just like the monkeys did the witch’s work?
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Now a flying monkey in the narcissist world is
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somebody that’s going to
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Say bad things about you or not be on your side. They’re basically trying to win them over by for you
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Ok cool
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Yeah
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What’s not cool, but you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, well, you know none of this is cool
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I think that we all need to kind of understand all the different pieces and for me not thinking about
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like the past and all of these things
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how I was a big one and and
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Just wasn’t what you’re thinking, but it’s all good really insulting it is all good for me. It’s been such an education because
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I may or may not have said on video before, but I know nothing about nice assistance or nice system
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my only
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exposure to that is through sort of mess or Mainstream Media and so
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When I when I hear terms like flying monkeys or and Tracy has used a couple of other terms
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I really have to ask what that what that is
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I do recognize it when when the description is given I see how it has played a part in
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behaviors in the Air in Behaviorism
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And I think what I love about that is that I feel a little bit more empowered
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And I feel a little bit more knowledgeable, and I feel a little enlightened
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so it’s kind of adding to my toolkit of
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Looking after the cell. I think I think it because it helps you understand that
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This wasn’t just the pattern of one this is the pattern of all of those
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psychopathic Narcissist and I
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Was reading a statistic in the love fraud book recently it was twelve percent of the population is
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most likely to have been thought of
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narcissistic or she calls it sociopath or narcissistic same same, but you know game, but
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if you think about that twenty four percent
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Having twelve percent when we double it because they’re each going to affect at least one person some will affect a lot more you know
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but
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Just think of that that’s then twenty-four percent of you know the world that is affected by this
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And that’s why [we] need to raise awareness because it’s it’s growing and if we don’t all the signs
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How do we know for the next time?
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Absolutely, so absolutely so what okay, what do you think is the most important thing you then today?
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What’s our lesson for today? I wasn’t today’s is definitely about the [um]
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you know just looking at the patterns of
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Things that have happened in your life, not necessarily just for that one
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narcissus that you might have resumed we had but okay like your parents or your siblings or
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anyone else that your boss somebody that
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You didn’t like their behavior if you start to look at those
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like red flags in other ways you’re going to get
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stronger because you’re going to see it and
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Don’t be like a Narc Paranoia, but you just kind of understand it. I think that’s my listen
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How about you? Yeah? I think for me. That was quite similar actually um I
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Feel so enlightened in being able to identify things that I couldn’t see before perhaps
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And something really
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Struck me today. I was talking to a friend and I realized that
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We really build up our expectation of a partner
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by filling in the gaps and not allowing that person to present himself than their fullness to
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So sometimes you know I know I’ve been a very fanciful person in the past, so when somebody appears in front of me
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And they’re giving me little bits of information and little snippets of themselves
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I tend to fill in the rest with my fanciful idea of what that ideal relationship looks like with them and
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I don’t or I have not in the past allowed it to
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unfold and allow them to be who they really are through their actions and not just their words and
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I have filled in a bit so prettily and I think the most important lesson for me today is to learn that
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I shall allow people to just present themselves as they actually are
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take a step back and know that if it’s meant to be able unfolding the time that it should and
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It will you can’t do yeah, and then if they they fill in blanks purses us in our brains
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I’m much more surprised really
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[like] oh
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And I thought you were that you know totally it’s like on on Jurassic park where they filled in the DNA with frog DnA
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Perfect is there a word for that because then we could mean what you just said that’s perfect
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I’m thinking around negative Lizella, Missoula and Tracy night market like a real missing link has been missing lee
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Give me fill it in so oh my God yeah, so we had good lessons
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Absolutely it was perfect now. I think my dinner Freddie. Good genus. Bye. Bye. See you later. Bye
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