A reading of a great book – The language of letting go. by Melody Beattie
Transcription:
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Hi there this is Tracy and the cell and we decided to make a second video
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So if you’re of noticing the same shirts the same position the same light
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We have decided she read a poem from her book that she’s reading right now
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and I have a book that I’ve been reading as well, and I’m going to read a page of it and
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I’m gonna open up by showing you the book
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It is the language of letting go
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Daily meditations on codependency by melody beetle and every single day. There is a
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balance a
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positive energy an
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empowering of detaching of controlling
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There’s a commitment there is something for every single day that is a direct message to you
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And you only have to read it’s about a half a page a day so
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If you want to move past the hurts this book is great
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And so I want to read this and then we’re just going to discuss this little
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Paragraph so this was from yesterday and was called word power. I know I’m controlling, but so is my husband
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Possibly more controlling than I am
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Each time I set out to leave him each time. I started to walk away
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He knew exactly what to say to pull me back in and he knew that I would respond he knew
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how to exactly say what I needed to hear
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To just keep me where he wanted me to be
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He knew what he was doing and he knew what I would do I
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know
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Because after we began recovering he told me so
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some of us are vulnerable are so vulnerable to words a
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well-timed I love you a
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Chosen moment where I’m sorry an excuse delivered in the right tone of voice a
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pat on the head a dozen roses a kiss a greeting card a
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Few words that promise love that has yet to be delivered can spin us into denial
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Sometimes it can keep us denying that we’ve been lied to mistreated or abused
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There are those who deliberately set out to sway us to control and to manipulate us through cheap talk
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Know anyone like that
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maybe
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They know they fully understand our vulnerability and at well-timed words
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They break through our nyah tivity
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They know what they’ll do II and they understand their impact on us
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Sooner or later. We all come to realize that if behavior doesn’t match a person’s words. We are allowing ourselves to be controlled
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manipulated and deceived
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She’s got a little bit more hair, but she always closes with an affirmation and suits today
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I will let go of my vulnerability to words
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God help me trust myself to know the truth even when I am being deceived
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Help me treasure those relationships where there is
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Congrats help me believe I deserve her gritty and truth in the behavior and words from the people that I care about
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Let’s open that up
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Show about the power of words for you um
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It’s so interesting cuz I’ve got to sort of start I got two things on everything really
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I’ve got like a tooshie sides to everything
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But when I feel you say that I you know I always tell people it’s Fisher when I talk to clients
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That it’s a word driven world and that words are so important
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But what I have come to realize is that actions are far more important, and so I think where it’s a wonderful
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and I’m a poet look so I I
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Love words, and I love putting them together, and I understand the impact and the power of them, but God helped me
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I just hope in the future for myself as well that I hope to recognize I
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hope to recognize that words are just words and
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They mean nothing until they’re acted upon
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And I think that pretty words
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Just as she describes. You know pretty words can when I saw ever and because if you’re a wishful thinking
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And I am I’m a wishful thinking
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I’m a hot a glass half-full kind of girl
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And and so I want to hear words that mean everything to me and take them on board
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But in my experience and in my in I guess and when I say that I mean in experience it sometimes hasn’t really served me
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um I
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Want to learn or at least I hope that I’ve learned that if that’s not backed up by
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the action that goes along with those words, then really they mean nothing I know yeah, I know there’s
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So much, I can look back on
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between my
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ex-husband and
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our narc and
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I
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believed the words
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And I believed them as you probably do I believe them because I loved them I
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Believe them because it’s a story that I wanted to hear
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Now I’m seeing that they were
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mirroring back what I wanted to hear and I
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Didn’t realize that I didn’t
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Understand that but I knew the actions were not followed up
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for example my ex-husband they were
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So upper-class that this is how the rich people do things
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darling
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very very
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Weird you know they thought they were better than everyone and and therefore you know I had to dress a part
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I had to look apart
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But their actions were anything other than then classy, and I’m not just talking about the divorce things
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They had done in their life that I just didn’t I was like scratching my head going okay
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That’s just slimy that’s mean. That’s horrible and
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Those were words they were words telling me that they were going to pay for my son’s education
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They didn’t back it up with words. I mean didn’t I back it up with actions
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How about you?
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Yeah, I mean
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my
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Earliest like my regular recollection of that particular what we’re talking about today is
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Is in my latest encounter you know with I don’t know that I like our knock
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But hey it’s true
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But that dude
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Yeah
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Everyone I call him in Campu. I don’t know it doesn’t matter you know who I mean, I just
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yeah, I’m
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And it’s interesting as well, what was this lady’s name again, let’s have another melody bTW
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I I love the fact that she used the word naivete
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That’s how I felt
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I felt my Eve very naive, but you know a certain part of me doesn’t want to give away my naivete
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It’s part of my way of seeing the world and and I like to be in awe of the world
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But it doesn’t mean if you’re naive that you don’t have to be a little bit smart as well
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You know there’s a way of seeing the world in awe and wonder
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But also being a little bit smart about what is being presented to you
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And I think that’s what it is it in the end. It’s going to be like action has to back up the words
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That’s what I’ll be looking for now in fact
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I won’t even be looking at words anymore as much as I adore and love them they can come later
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Show me show me
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Yeah, I just spoke with
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someone on the phone and
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If you’re listening this is for you, baby
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Her husband was not backing up his words
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He always wanted a child, but he wasn’t being a father and
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She was holding on to that idea
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As I did and you can make excuses for them we could sit there and we can make excuses until we’re blue in the face
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But that doesn’t mean the action isn’t there
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Well, what if he’s gonna change what if this?
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When when you have people and she does readings for people?
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What are the three questions that people ask you?
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Yeah, so I get asked we were talking about this the other day so on a daily basis. I get asked the three top questions
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Will I ever find the one or is he or she the one
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The second one is um
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Will he ever leave his wife for me
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That’s you know, and I don’t I’m not gonna even change that to will she leave her
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Husband for me because generally I get a lot of women asking that question not so much man
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I get woman asking that question which is interesting too?
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And we might discuss that later and the third one is is he going to call me
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Well tell you what if he was going to call you?
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He would just call you wouldn’t he you would not be on this thing
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Talking to me asking a stranger if this man is going to call you. He’d call you you would know
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Until that time you wouldn’t have to worry about it
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And I’ll usually say to people as well you will find the one when you realize you are the one you
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Are the one and then that third one about is he ever going to leave his wife for me again actions speak louder than words
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You know what?
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step away from the married man when he is a divorced man, and he sorted his business out mm-hm and
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He has promised you a lot of things. I know he has
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But when he actually acts upon that
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That’s when you believe it. Not the words not the words so
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If it helps I see it a lot, and it doesn’t vary very much. There’s a very rare exception
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I will say this as an intuitive. I have learned that the most important thing is to be faithful to
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One relationship at a time because in my work. I have just seen tragic tragic
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Triangles and triangles love triangles do not work, and if you’re part of that there
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There’s a person too too much in there
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you need to take that equation get that person out of it until there’s just two people and
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Yeah, right, and and I think on that will he leave his wife for me
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Will he leave his wife is really the question think about that
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If he leaves them for you
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Will he leave you for the next person think about that you do you want somebody
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That is going behind the back of
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their wife right now I
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Wouldn’t don’t settle for that and I’m gonna just add in yeah
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I know you feel it’s the real thing. I know you do you’re going. Oh my god. No
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I am the one and I get that I totally understand and get that
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Allow his actions to speak louder than the words take the words out of it
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Think about that for a moment take all words out of it and see what remains and there’s your answer
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That’s all we got for today, this is Tracy and gizelle, thanks, yeah
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You
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