Because of fear we often stay too long
spear a weakness or
Something that we must like conquer and fight
This is tracy when if you have been battling [with] fear or you’ve allowed fear to
Make decisions for you this video might help
Don’t forget [to] subscribe. I’m going to say it now so I don’t forget later victims of abuse
often fear the unknown
[sycuan] is we fear money, and how will I survive I?
Didn’t save enough
Maybe I wasn’t smart enough. I didn’t go to college
Or got out the work career
Which is of my children’s?
how I [survive]
You can also be afraid of the future
Where you’re going to live how you’re going to survive
What’s going to happen [to] your children insurance even food?
We just don’t know what’s going to [happen] next and that is really scary [I] get it
It is also
What I have realized is that I?
Look at life, and I like to control things
probably because I couldn’t control things most of my life and
So the fear of something we can’t control is very real at least for me
We’re afraid for our children
We’re afraid that just wasn’t what we wanted for them
We didn’t want them to be going back and forth between two families
We didn’t want them to not be with their mom and their dad on Christmas morning
it’s not how we planned it and
how they cope
[but] they go through emotional stuff that I’ll have to help them with
These are all the things that we [ask] about our kids
Will they be okay?
Will they end up screwed up later?
we very often
Turn our fear from those sort of external things that we don’t know they’re all unknown, right?
But we turn it to ourself and we wonder
If I will be lovable
Who would love me? What’s wrong with me?
We take it down and we say
Who will want to be with me now?
Maybe [I] haven’t saved for retirement
Maybe I don’t have a career. Maybe I’ve got three kids at and no way to support them
Who’s going to want me then will I be prime target for another narcissist?
Because I’m living out of fear. I’m living that I can’t take care of my family
Another thing is trust
We’re really afraid
Who will be trust?
Will we ever trust again?
This betrayal that we are experiencing is
[not] even fathom today. I was watching a Tedx talk and
the woman, I’m going to read a little bit from it, but it was on fear and
She really inspired me to make this video. So I wrote some things down that she said I’m hoping that they’ll help you
[I’ll] put a link down below to where you can see this ted. Talk her name [is] Karen Thompson Walker and
She was talking about
What if we didn’t call these things fear?
What if we call them stories?
These are unintended stories that we tell ourselves
She went on to say [that] fear and stories
Have the same architecture
There’s a beginning middle and an end
There’s an evil queen and there’s imagery of what will happen [next]
to me when I listen to that
that was like the best description of
What I keep hearing now, which is the old recordings right I?
never really heard that expression before and now I’m hearing it all the time and
These fears are stories
I’m afraid of this I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I don’t think I can be a provider
Well, you know what it might be different, but we will be providers for ourselves and our family again
we’re just like a little brain fucked at the moment because by the very meaning of
Fear it’s an unpleasant emotion
caused by the belief that
someone or something is dangerous and
It’s likely to cause pain or threat
fear can cause anxiety [on] behalf of itself
So if we look at us as victims and the brain Factory that we’ve been experiencing
That’s a really
Interesting way to put it that’s from [dictionary] [calm] and the word I called out with belief
We believe that these things are happening. [they’re] not actually happening right [now]
We don’t know what they [are] and that’s the uncertainty partridge. That’s a part. We don’t understand yet, but
But she said it’s when we dismiss our fear is really when we lose control
by allowing fear to like eat at us like some sort of
bug eating like a
gross thing on the ground
if we let it eat at us, and we don’t conquer it and
It will control us
So how do we can take control of our fear?
how do we take the mystery out of
It’s really only one way
We take the fear out of it. Just like we would if our child woke up and there were monsters under the bed
Instead of invalidating them. Maybe not saying you know that’s all in your head. There’s no such thing as monsters
What if we turn that around and told a different story?
The monsters you know are good, and they’re here to protect you
What if we told that to ourselves?
fear that comes inside of us
If we had an actionable plan and we planned
and how to plan to just
I’ll get a job. I’ll do this
What happens if I lose my house? I’ll find another
What happens if my children have to deal with an evil stepmother?
They will deal
We can’t control that there’s nothing we can do that will control
That fear so worrying about it isn’t going to help us out
Karen also said in that ted talk the fears are an amazing gift of the imagination
they’re like an everyday clairvoyance and a way of glimpsing the
Wow still having the influence
To change the way that it plays out
Breakdown Your Fears
Just do it
What am I afraid of and what?
If that happened how will you prepare for that?
Write [that] down
Just like I said I’m gonna have to move I’m going to do this. I have no savings. [I] have no insurance
You’ll figure it out. It will get taken care of because that’s the way we are. We do things we care
We love we’re not going to let it all fall apart. It’s just we’re afraid of it because we don’t know what it is
It’s unknown and it’s unseen
so don’t let it be
You know get into you don’t let fear take you away
Come back to reality
by writing down the fear and
Writing down what will happen if that fear comes -?
This is tracy, [and] [that’s] all I’ve got have a great night and subscribe. Thanks