So often the hurt we have experienced leads us down a short rabbit ? hole. I will show you actionable steps and teach you how to do it right. Revenge hurts you and does not promote healing.
Transcription:
0:00:00.250,0:00:08.069
Hi, this is Tracy and today. I’m gonna talk to you about revenge and getting a revenge on a narcissist and
0:00:09.340,0:00:15.420
When I ask you does revenge equal closure or disclosure equal revenge, right?
0:00:17.560,0:00:22.020
You will not need revenge if you focus on taking back your life
0:00:22.750,0:00:24.730
your power
0:00:24.730,0:00:27.449
your reality your self-respect
0:00:28.180,0:00:30.929
and Europe reputation and independence
0:00:32.169,0:00:35.009
If you learn to do this, you will be free
0:00:36.399,0:00:43.679
But do you find yourself dreaming about taking revenge on a narcissist looking to expose or get restitution?
0:00:45.610,0:00:49.889
Think about this are you looking for a comparative suffering?
0:00:51.039,0:00:56.339
That is something that we all struggle with I think that no matter who we are
0:00:59.620,0:01:01.620
It’s ingrained inside of us
0:01:02.649,0:01:04.768
Today I plan on showing us some
0:01:05.470,0:01:06.640
real-life
0:01:06.640,0:01:11.369
actionable things that you can do when you’re thinking about taking revenge on someone and
0:01:14.320,0:01:19.139
Hopefully show you that revenge with a narcissist is not going to help you heal I
0:01:20.860,0:01:27.959
Ran into a famous quote the other day while doing research for this video, and it said when you’re seeking revenge
0:01:28.540,0:01:30.400
Dig two graves
0:01:30.400,0:01:32.400
One is for you
0:01:33.280,0:01:39.299
For me. I think we have two different voices. You know the good one and the evil one they come up on your shoulder
0:01:39.299,0:01:42.539
They whisper in your ear. They are part of us
0:01:42.579,0:01:45.239
They are actually part of our warning system
0:01:45.460,0:01:50.820
the system inside of us that tells us when we should fear something when we should
0:01:51.100,0:01:54.119
Run when we should hide fight flight or freeze
0:01:54.369,0:02:00.059
It goes back to our caveman days where we’re using that for survival
0:02:00.790,0:02:08.279
But these two voices for me. There’s an evil one and a good one. They have always been there
0:02:08.869,0:02:13.909
And I’m pretty sure they are there to protect me and teach me that
0:02:16.440,0:02:18.949
We’re to balance things how to balance things
0:02:20.040,0:02:23.959
The Evil one sits there and and it feeds anger it feeds
0:02:24.750,0:02:26.750
hurt and
0:02:26.880,0:02:29.449
Anger Brings feelings of hurt and
0:02:29.910,0:02:35.389
And that breeds and Fester’s into revenge or the idea of wanting to take revenge
0:02:37.230,0:02:42.830
But I’m hoping that that little voice the other one on your other shoulder. I’m hoping that that one
0:02:43.380,0:02:49.279
That good voice is the voice of reason that tells you that this is not a good idea
0:02:51.120,0:02:53.239
It’s a really bad strategy
0:02:54.209,0:03:00.649
To think about revenge because it’s disempowering and we get stuck in angry
0:03:02.099,0:03:07.488
And when we’re stuck in ingria, we run like a hamster loop. We are just going and going and going and
0:03:08.250,0:03:15.259
There isn’t an end. We cannot get closure with a narcissist by taking revenge
0:03:16.440,0:03:18.440
period
0:03:19.230,0:03:25.429
The very definition of revenge is payback restitution
0:03:26.760,0:03:31.160
Retaliation and vengeance do those words sound good. They don’t to me
0:03:31.920,0:03:35.030
and that they’re like a form of justice and
0:03:35.670,0:03:39.170
of evening the score in our own minds, but
0:03:40.470,0:03:43.489
it increases anger on both sides and
0:03:45.060,0:03:48.380
if we try to inflict hurt or harm on someone else
0:03:51.600,0:03:55.799
this is not going to help you, but
0:03:57.580,0:04:00.870
It’s actually normal to think about these things
0:04:01.660,0:04:06.299
We live with revenge in our culture right an eye for an eye
0:04:08.050,0:04:11.939
movies are always showing the revenge working out pretty good and
0:04:13.810,0:04:20.130
If we look at the news they are always featuring the gang shootings, but children often die
0:04:21.130,0:04:23.130
in the name of revenge
0:04:27.490,0:04:30.540
remembered life as a teenager people were
0:04:32.260,0:04:35.670
ridicule and Hurt and you wanted revenge
0:04:38.080,0:04:40.080
It’s been there a long time
0:04:41.380,0:04:45.959
So let’s see if you’re thinking of planning some revenge right let’s think about this
0:04:47.260,0:04:49.589
What are you gonna? Do you’re Gonna Stalk somebody?
0:04:52.000,0:04:54.000
They’re Gonna Key their car
0:04:55.180,0:04:57.180
Flatten their tires
0:04:57.400,0:04:59.790
Or maybe just warn the next supply
0:05:01.960,0:05:07.889
And sometimes maybe you know secrets about them, but if they were exposed
0:05:09.100,0:05:11.100
It would land them in jail
0:05:11.290,0:05:17.670
Or maybe they lose their children, and that would be justice because you’ve got them didn’t you
0:05:19.420,0:05:23.009
actually google the top things that people do for a revenge and
0:05:24.040,0:05:30.179
Most of the things were similar to what I just used as examples, but some of the things I found that were
0:05:30.820,0:05:33.390
interesting were litter bombs
0:05:33.970,0:05:36.149
You could send somebody a glitter bomb
0:05:36.700,0:05:42.149
That like they open it up and poof it shoots glitter all over their house, and it’s just annoying I
0:05:44.020,0:05:51.089
Think that’s funny, but I don’t think it’s going to help you in any way so save your $20
0:05:52.660,0:05:58.080
They even read that somebody poured water all over a frozen car of their girlfriend’s
0:05:58.960,0:06:05.890
New boyfriend right just poured water over it on a frosty night and like left three inches of water to freeze over
0:06:06.500,0:06:08.500
the car throughout the night
0:06:11.600,0:06:14.109
creativity gets a point there, but
0:06:15.560,0:06:22.839
What if they had gotten caught what if they lost their job because they got caught and went to jail?
0:06:26.180,0:06:30.459
historically if we go back to some of the things again in my research of
0:06:32.600,0:06:34.600
revenge
0:06:35.180,0:06:38.709
We look at Lorena Bobbitt eight she’s the first one
0:06:39.050,0:06:46.630
But not the last one the one we think of for cutting off a wiener and there were plenty of other copycat Errs
0:06:46.630,0:06:51.399
Oh, I just totally knocked it like being stopped moving sorry
0:06:53.390,0:06:55.390
Columbine was a retaliation
0:06:56.240,0:06:57.920
vengeance
0:06:57.920,0:06:59.660
the World Trade Center
0:06:59.660,0:07:04.660
An eye for an eye then we can look at healthy healthy revenge how their revenge
0:07:04.660,0:07:12.249
I think one of the best examples is one of my favorite youtube videos called united breaks guitars when a man named Dave Carroll
0:07:13.160,0:07:20.949
had his guitar broken by united, and he created a song which has millions of views on it and
0:07:21.980,0:07:23.980
it
0:07:23.990,0:07:25.990
escalated to a point of
0:07:26.120,0:07:32.019
Millions and millions of years and the United stock dropped 17 million dollars. That’s a lot
0:07:33.560,0:07:35.560
but at the same Time I
0:07:36.530,0:07:38.530
Want to say no one was hurt
0:07:39.050,0:07:41.050
That’s a different type of revenge
0:07:41.810,0:07:43.400
that’s
0:07:43.400,0:07:49.660
Making people aware. I don’t know it to me. It’s not the revenge that we’re talking about where people are Gonna
0:07:49.660,0:07:52.779
Get hurt. I want you to think about what would happen to you if
0:07:54.590,0:07:57.699
The revenge worked how would you feel?
0:08:00.080,0:08:06.729
In order to think about this. It’s really important to look at the players. There’s you and there’s a narcissist and
0:08:07.430,0:08:09.759
the Narcissists are soulless being
0:08:10.530,0:08:12.890
that have a mental illness and
0:08:13.560,0:08:15.560
they have had a lifetime of
0:08:15.840,0:08:17.840
perfecting the art of purposely
0:08:18.750,0:08:23.690
Destroying lives of anyone that got caught in their web, that’s just what they do
0:08:24.060,0:08:27.019
they’re like the vampires of our time and
0:08:28.080,0:08:30.830
they have no conscience to
0:08:32.430,0:08:37.520
ControL who they destroy. We’re not like that. We’re not professional liars
0:08:39.090,0:08:40.680
and
0:08:40.680,0:08:46.489
Their goal is to destroy you and to get supply so supply could mean
0:08:47.310,0:08:50.419
Good supply, you’re telling them. They’re wonderful and beautiful
0:08:51.090,0:08:55.879
Or supply could be that it’s negative. They know they’re getting at you
0:08:56.040,0:08:59.480
That’s so important for you to understand that by
0:09:00.420,0:09:02.420
Going in with this cheap trick
0:09:04.650,0:09:06.650
It’s only Gonna Destroy you
0:09:09.030,0:09:10.710
as a Target
0:09:10.710,0:09:15.829
We’re codependence. We’re people pleasing kind loving grateful honest
0:09:16.650,0:09:21.049
but during this time when the thought of revenge comes to us
0:09:21.420,0:09:24.860
It’s important to know that that’s not us right now
0:09:25.530,0:09:28.249
We are beaten down. We are confused
0:09:28.890,0:09:32.509
We are scared. We are Shaken. We have been smeared
0:09:33.120,0:09:35.270
Gaslighted we’ve dealt with isolation
0:09:35.820,0:09:37.320
Financial ruin
0:09:37.320,0:09:42.469
Betrayal and we’re probably on the onset if not full-blown pTSd
0:09:44.190,0:09:50.179
It’s important to know that we can’t fight fair and we don’t want to
0:09:51.030,0:09:53.030
That takes away us
0:09:53.250,0:09:55.489
Really try not to do that
0:09:56.400,0:10:01.429
They can’t be stopped no matter what we do they will repeat the same patterns forever
0:10:02.250,0:10:03.390
idealize
0:10:03.390,0:10:05.390
Devalue Discard
0:10:05.940,0:10:08.840
period They’re Gonna keep on doing this and
0:10:11.250,0:10:17.239
They count on us being quiet. They count on us keeping
0:10:18.750,0:10:21.080
quiet forgiving and moving on
0:10:21.740,0:10:28.270
This is our nature and they chose us because we’ve already proven to them in some way or form that
0:10:29.330,0:10:33.429
We will do what it takes to love and support them
0:10:34.310,0:10:36.310
but revenge
0:10:36.770,0:10:43.660
Extends the conflict. It doesn’t make it go away because you trauma bonded to that person and nothing is going to change
0:10:44.870,0:10:46.870
you will not
0:10:47.420,0:10:51.579
Change anything except for the fact that you have stooped so low
0:10:52.640,0:10:54.640
to be on their level, so
0:10:55.670,0:10:59.109
Don’t let them take one more minute of your life
0:10:59.960,0:11:06.100
When I talk to victims they’ve lost five years they’ve lost 10 years three months
0:11:06.100,0:11:08.920
It doesn’t matter they’ve lost that it’s not coming back
0:11:10.700,0:11:16.660
But if you plan revenge if you don’t look at how to heal yourself right now
0:11:18.590,0:11:25.780
You’re not gonna get it. It’s not gonna help you no matter what you do. You’re still gonna have to work through the pain
0:11:26.480,0:11:28.010
and grow
0:11:28.010,0:11:30.010
So here’s my idea
0:11:31.070,0:11:33.220
What do you do when you’re thinking about revenge?
0:11:36.350,0:11:38.350
doctors say that we want revenge
0:11:38.480,0:11:41.349
Because our trust has been broken but acts of revenge
0:11:41.870,0:11:45.700
cannot repair Trust or Establish Justice I
0:11:47.150,0:11:51.040
Want you to think about these actionable steps I talked about at the beginning
0:11:52.130,0:11:57.999
Gray rock this is a term that means going completely dark learn not to care
0:11:58.880,0:12:00.590
Learn to be alone
0:12:00.590,0:12:06.970
And learn to enjoy the lack of drama, but your life could and will have again I
0:12:08.360,0:12:15.550
Want you to be smart that means learn the techniques to protect yourself. I have another video on
0:12:16.130,0:12:18.130
recording conversations
0:12:18.260,0:12:24.640
just be mindful to not get trapped by another one of their tricks and
0:12:25.760,0:12:28.299
Use the police if you feel threatened at all
0:12:29.699,0:12:31.699
They’re stalking you
0:12:32.470,0:12:34.529
Call them call the police
0:12:35.709,0:12:37.979
get yourself protected because
0:12:39.100,0:12:46.499
It is against the law for them to stalk you and getting a restraining order is a legal way of getting revenge
0:12:49.839,0:12:51.839
forgiveness
0:12:52.569,0:12:59.729
forgive yourself first and grab a hold of self-love grab a hold of it and
0:13:01.299,0:13:03.299
Don’t let go
0:13:04.899,0:13:06.669
It happened
0:13:06.669,0:13:09.629
It sucks, and you were a Target
0:13:10.749,0:13:12.749
You showed your vulnerabilities
0:13:13.629,0:13:15.899
And someone took advantage of you
0:13:17.139,0:13:19.119
It hurts
0:13:19.119,0:13:21.119
It sucks
0:13:22.629,0:13:24.629
but next chapter
0:13:27.699,0:13:30.628
Exposing them is another way of getting healthy revenge
0:13:31.869,0:13:36.719
And you have to remember that there’s nothing more that a narcissist hates?
0:13:37.839,0:13:39.839
then being exposed
0:13:41.499,0:13:44.428
but you have to be careful when you do this because
0:13:45.850,0:13:51.059
You have to be in a place that you have educated yourself and that
0:13:52.299,0:13:55.019
You’re going to expose them in a rational
0:13:55.899,0:14:00.958
Educated way you’re going to teach people what you’ve learned about narcissus
0:14:02.289,0:14:08.129
That takes you out of the emotional issue of them doing this and you’re doing it back
0:14:08.739,0:14:10.119
that is
0:14:10.119,0:14:15.869
Educating people and removing yourself from the pain of a conversation you will be much more effective
0:14:16.389,0:14:18.389
You will have people
0:14:18.999,0:14:24.029
understand you and you can turn the tables of that on them and
0:14:24.970,0:14:29.309
they will be enraged that you dare step out of the line and
0:14:30.069,0:14:32.188
say these horrible things about them, but
0:14:33.759,0:14:38.969
Count on this tactic to further enable them as the poor little victim
0:14:39.999,0:14:44.999
That’s why you must know what you’re saying and do it without emotion
0:14:47.140,0:14:53.760
the next thing is to learn to be happy to move past this to understand it to learn about it and
0:14:54.790,0:14:59.399
That will drive them crazy. It’s awesome. All you have to do is be happy
0:15:00.190,0:15:03.089
Not let it hold you down every second you let it/them
0:15:03.550,0:15:08.909
Control you you let them keep you in your house you let them not have friends and family
0:15:09.820,0:15:11.820
And they’ve wanted
0:15:16.090,0:15:18.360
narcissus peed on the pains of others
0:15:19.510,0:15:21.510
So don’t do anything
0:15:21.700,0:15:27.870
That will further make you look like the crazy one cray-Cray is not a good hashtag
0:15:29.590,0:15:34.320
And yeah, then the last thing I want you to know about is to harness change
0:15:35.230,0:15:38.399
Help by changing the laws for victims
0:15:39.040,0:15:40.930
sign some
0:15:40.930,0:15:45.299
competitions on changes stop org causes causes org
0:15:45.300,0:15:46.870
I’m Gonna put the link below
0:15:46.870,0:15:52.169
to some people that are really trying to do some good stuff and change the laws so that our police and
0:15:52.270,0:15:54.690
our legal system and our judges are
0:15:55.840,0:15:59.070
aware of the tricks that the narcissist pulls
0:16:00.550,0:16:07.680
Help get that change passed so that the people to come after you have some kind of legal
0:16:08.890,0:16:12.210
understanding of the the torture that we’ve been put through
0:16:14.710,0:16:17.820
Revenger the Narcissist is not a game that you want to play
0:16:19.150,0:16:27.090
Keep in mind that the cost is high but you’re putting yourself in real danger so important
0:16:28.540,0:16:32.849
The person that you’re seeking revenge on is a mentally ill person
0:16:34.330,0:16:36.960
the Performers and they live lies
0:16:37.660,0:16:42.389
They are professional con men and women you are not a match for them
0:16:44.170,0:16:50.339
So whatever you think about know that the choice to take revenge is yours
0:16:52.390,0:16:55.590
but it’s a choice that will be a statement about your
0:16:57.210,0:17:00.590
Something that says I’m better than that I
0:17:03.570,0:17:05.570
Hope that this helped
0:17:08.310,0:17:10.260
Don’t get revenge
0:17:10.260,0:17:12.710
Just get a knife and get back to it
0:17:13.530,0:17:15.530
Life is calling you
0:17:15.870,0:17:19.699
Peace out, this is tracy. That’s all I got have a great day
Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!
