So often the hurt we have experienced leads us down a short rabbit ? hole. I will show you actionable steps and teach you how to do it right. Revenge hurts you and does not promote healing.
Transcription:
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Hi, this is Tracy and today. I’m gonna talk to you about revenge and getting a revenge on a narcissist and
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When I ask you does revenge equal closure or disclosure equal revenge, right?
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You will not need revenge if you focus on taking back your life
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your power
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your reality your self-respect
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and Europe reputation and independence
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If you learn to do this, you will be free
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But do you find yourself dreaming about taking revenge on a narcissist looking to expose or get restitution?
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Think about this are you looking for a comparative suffering?
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That is something that we all struggle with I think that no matter who we are
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It’s ingrained inside of us
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Today I plan on showing us some
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real-life
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actionable things that you can do when you’re thinking about taking revenge on someone and
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Hopefully show you that revenge with a narcissist is not going to help you heal I
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Ran into a famous quote the other day while doing research for this video, and it said when you’re seeking revenge
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Dig two graves
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One is for you
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For me. I think we have two different voices. You know the good one and the evil one they come up on your shoulder
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They whisper in your ear. They are part of us
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They are actually part of our warning system
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the system inside of us that tells us when we should fear something when we should
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Run when we should hide fight flight or freeze
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It goes back to our caveman days where we’re using that for survival
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But these two voices for me. There’s an evil one and a good one. They have always been there
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And I’m pretty sure they are there to protect me and teach me that
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We’re to balance things how to balance things
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The Evil one sits there and and it feeds anger it feeds
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hurt and
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Anger Brings feelings of hurt and
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And that breeds and Fester’s into revenge or the idea of wanting to take revenge
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But I’m hoping that that little voice the other one on your other shoulder. I’m hoping that that one
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That good voice is the voice of reason that tells you that this is not a good idea
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It’s a really bad strategy
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To think about revenge because it’s disempowering and we get stuck in angry
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And when we’re stuck in ingria, we run like a hamster loop. We are just going and going and going and
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There isn’t an end. We cannot get closure with a narcissist by taking revenge
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period
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The very definition of revenge is payback restitution
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Retaliation and vengeance do those words sound good. They don’t to me
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and that they’re like a form of justice and
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of evening the score in our own minds, but
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it increases anger on both sides and
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if we try to inflict hurt or harm on someone else
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this is not going to help you, but
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It’s actually normal to think about these things
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We live with revenge in our culture right an eye for an eye
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movies are always showing the revenge working out pretty good and
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If we look at the news they are always featuring the gang shootings, but children often die
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in the name of revenge
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remembered life as a teenager people were
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ridicule and Hurt and you wanted revenge
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It’s been there a long time
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So let’s see if you’re thinking of planning some revenge right let’s think about this
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What are you gonna? Do you’re Gonna Stalk somebody?
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They’re Gonna Key their car
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Flatten their tires
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Or maybe just warn the next supply
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And sometimes maybe you know secrets about them, but if they were exposed
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It would land them in jail
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Or maybe they lose their children, and that would be justice because you’ve got them didn’t you
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actually google the top things that people do for a revenge and
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Most of the things were similar to what I just used as examples, but some of the things I found that were
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interesting were litter bombs
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You could send somebody a glitter bomb
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That like they open it up and poof it shoots glitter all over their house, and it’s just annoying I
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Think that’s funny, but I don’t think it’s going to help you in any way so save your $20
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They even read that somebody poured water all over a frozen car of their girlfriend’s
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New boyfriend right just poured water over it on a frosty night and like left three inches of water to freeze over
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the car throughout the night
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creativity gets a point there, but
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What if they had gotten caught what if they lost their job because they got caught and went to jail?
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historically if we go back to some of the things again in my research of
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revenge
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We look at Lorena Bobbitt eight she’s the first one
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But not the last one the one we think of for cutting off a wiener and there were plenty of other copycat Errs
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Oh, I just totally knocked it like being stopped moving sorry
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Columbine was a retaliation
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vengeance
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the World Trade Center
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An eye for an eye then we can look at healthy healthy revenge how their revenge
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I think one of the best examples is one of my favorite youtube videos called united breaks guitars when a man named Dave Carroll
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had his guitar broken by united, and he created a song which has millions of views on it and
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it
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escalated to a point of
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Millions and millions of years and the United stock dropped 17 million dollars. That’s a lot
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but at the same Time I
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Want to say no one was hurt
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That’s a different type of revenge
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that’s
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Making people aware. I don’t know it to me. It’s not the revenge that we’re talking about where people are Gonna
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Get hurt. I want you to think about what would happen to you if
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The revenge worked how would you feel?
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In order to think about this. It’s really important to look at the players. There’s you and there’s a narcissist and
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the Narcissists are soulless being
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that have a mental illness and
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they have had a lifetime of
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perfecting the art of purposely
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Destroying lives of anyone that got caught in their web, that’s just what they do
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they’re like the vampires of our time and
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they have no conscience to
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ControL who they destroy. We’re not like that. We’re not professional liars
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and
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Their goal is to destroy you and to get supply so supply could mean
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Good supply, you’re telling them. They’re wonderful and beautiful
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Or supply could be that it’s negative. They know they’re getting at you
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That’s so important for you to understand that by
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Going in with this cheap trick
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It’s only Gonna Destroy you
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as a Target
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We’re codependence. We’re people pleasing kind loving grateful honest
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but during this time when the thought of revenge comes to us
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It’s important to know that that’s not us right now
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We are beaten down. We are confused
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We are scared. We are Shaken. We have been smeared
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Gaslighted we’ve dealt with isolation
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Financial ruin
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Betrayal and we’re probably on the onset if not full-blown pTSd
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It’s important to know that we can’t fight fair and we don’t want to
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That takes away us
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Really try not to do that
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They can’t be stopped no matter what we do they will repeat the same patterns forever
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idealize
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Devalue Discard
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period They’re Gonna keep on doing this and
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They count on us being quiet. They count on us keeping
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quiet forgiving and moving on
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This is our nature and they chose us because we’ve already proven to them in some way or form that
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We will do what it takes to love and support them
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but revenge
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Extends the conflict. It doesn’t make it go away because you trauma bonded to that person and nothing is going to change
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you will not
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Change anything except for the fact that you have stooped so low
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to be on their level, so
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Don’t let them take one more minute of your life
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When I talk to victims they’ve lost five years they’ve lost 10 years three months
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It doesn’t matter they’ve lost that it’s not coming back
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But if you plan revenge if you don’t look at how to heal yourself right now
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You’re not gonna get it. It’s not gonna help you no matter what you do. You’re still gonna have to work through the pain
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and grow
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So here’s my idea
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What do you do when you’re thinking about revenge?
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doctors say that we want revenge
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Because our trust has been broken but acts of revenge
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cannot repair Trust or Establish Justice I
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Want you to think about these actionable steps I talked about at the beginning
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Gray rock this is a term that means going completely dark learn not to care
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Learn to be alone
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And learn to enjoy the lack of drama, but your life could and will have again I
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Want you to be smart that means learn the techniques to protect yourself. I have another video on
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recording conversations
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just be mindful to not get trapped by another one of their tricks and
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Use the police if you feel threatened at all
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They’re stalking you
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Call them call the police
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get yourself protected because
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It is against the law for them to stalk you and getting a restraining order is a legal way of getting revenge
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forgiveness
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forgive yourself first and grab a hold of self-love grab a hold of it and
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Don’t let go
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It happened
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It sucks, and you were a Target
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You showed your vulnerabilities
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And someone took advantage of you
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It hurts
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It sucks
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but next chapter
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Exposing them is another way of getting healthy revenge
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And you have to remember that there’s nothing more that a narcissist hates?
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then being exposed
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but you have to be careful when you do this because
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You have to be in a place that you have educated yourself and that
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You’re going to expose them in a rational
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Educated way you’re going to teach people what you’ve learned about narcissus
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That takes you out of the emotional issue of them doing this and you’re doing it back
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that is
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Educating people and removing yourself from the pain of a conversation you will be much more effective
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You will have people
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understand you and you can turn the tables of that on them and
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they will be enraged that you dare step out of the line and
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say these horrible things about them, but
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Count on this tactic to further enable them as the poor little victim
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That’s why you must know what you’re saying and do it without emotion
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the next thing is to learn to be happy to move past this to understand it to learn about it and
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That will drive them crazy. It’s awesome. All you have to do is be happy
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Not let it hold you down every second you let it/them
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Control you you let them keep you in your house you let them not have friends and family
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And they’ve wanted
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narcissus peed on the pains of others
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So don’t do anything
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That will further make you look like the crazy one cray-Cray is not a good hashtag
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And yeah, then the last thing I want you to know about is to harness change
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Help by changing the laws for victims
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sign some
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competitions on changes stop org causes causes org
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I’m Gonna put the link below
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to some people that are really trying to do some good stuff and change the laws so that our police and
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our legal system and our judges are
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aware of the tricks that the narcissist pulls
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Help get that change passed so that the people to come after you have some kind of legal
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understanding of the the torture that we’ve been put through
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Revenger the Narcissist is not a game that you want to play
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Keep in mind that the cost is high but you’re putting yourself in real danger so important
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The person that you’re seeking revenge on is a mentally ill person
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the Performers and they live lies
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They are professional con men and women you are not a match for them
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So whatever you think about know that the choice to take revenge is yours
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but it’s a choice that will be a statement about your
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Something that says I’m better than that I
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Hope that this helped
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Don’t get revenge
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Just get a knife and get back to it
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Life is calling you
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Peace out, this is tracy. That’s all I got have a great day