Hi! My Name is Tracy A. Malone, founder of Narcissist Abuse Support and I’m here to help! 🙂
Transcription:
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Hi there. This is Tracy and tonight. I wanted to talk about
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changing your language
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This is a language that you want to
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Think about and just really pay attention to when it comes into your head and you say things
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because
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in order to move out a victim we
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Have to accept accountability and and I’m not saying that what the narcissus did to you male or female?
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Was right was there?
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Was probably legal?
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What I’m saying is
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In order to heal. I want you to this listen to these couple of things that I’ve written down and
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See if next time you say something like this, you can turn it around
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because by telling yourself that
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it moves you out a victim does that make sense, so
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Instead of saying he made me do this
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Where he made me feel like crap
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How about if he changed it to I?
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allowed him
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To make me feel like crap right that’s just taking responsibility. It’s not
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Changing it because it’s still
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there, but it’s taking some accountability that
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We allowed this and we’re never going [to] let that happen again
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Think of that, this is so important
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How about he had me watch? His kid or he borrowed money from me
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instead of that you can say I trusted him so much that
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I allowed him to borrow money
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and he trusted me so much that
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I watched his child
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Instead of saying I packed his whole freaking house
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You could say to yourself. I packed his whole house for him because I loved him I
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Didn’t know what a narcissist was and I trusted I
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have to accept the fact that
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I made that choice to Pack his whole house
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if I keep blaming him for that
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He was just getting away with [murder]. I mean like
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That’s their deal right, so if [we] don’t take accountability for our part which by the way
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It’s like nothing okay, but in your [mind]. It turns it around to something completely different
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this was one that I said in a group this past week, and
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This was about my divorce and and narcissus number two
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He had me so upset that I didn’t even want to eat I
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Was like a pTSD
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Didn’t even know what it was I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep and I
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Didn’t know what to do
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but if you turn that around and
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Turn it around to you and say from this point forward
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I’m going to nurture myself and love myself and feed myself
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the way I want
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to be cared for care for yourself
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stop caring for
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People that don’t deserve your love
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stop caring for them when
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Their excuses don’t make sense stop believing them
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and
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Love yourself if you could love yourself
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Through the horrible things that have happened now
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Imagine how much better you will be
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when you get out of this hellhole
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we have all been injured, but one of the steps to letting go of
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blaming them is to accept responsibility because you know what a
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Narcissist will never accept responsibility
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And that makes you human
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So keep that in mind
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And try to turn it around the next time you say something. I know it’s in there
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Just turn it around in your head. If it doesn’t spit out the first time that’s okay to say wait
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I just said he did this or she did that she did this to me or she had me arrested
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Whatever it is
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Where’s your accountability?
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And in looking at that. I think you’ll not find that you’re gonna heal a lot faster. I
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Wish you well, that’s all I got tonight. Thanks
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