Stages of Narcissist Abuse – Idealize, Devalue, Discard

Subscribe in a reader

it is well documented that all relationships with a narcissist go through the same three stages of abuse. Stage one is Idealize – here they make you feel like you are their soulmate and no one else has ever loved them the way you do, in this stage they will love bomb you until you see how much they care.

Devalue is the second stage of narcissistic abuse – here the narcissist is starting to slowly devalue you but it is usually quite stealth so most victims don’t realize things are changing. They might not call as often, they may be too busy to see you.

the last stage of narcissist abuse is discard – the discard of a narcissist is usually horrific and often leaves the victim asking what the hell happened.

Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!



The three stages of being with a narcissist are idealized where everything is great, and they love you and it’s going so well. They’ve got about things they do during that stage, but as they’re moving towards that, the next step is to value you, and they will pull things like make you feel crazy, they will insult you, and yell at you and get angry.

And then the next day is the discard where they’ve kind of managed down your expectations. So, okay, I’m not gonna text you a five times a day, I’m not gonna sleep over every week and I’ll make it a lot less often than that.

They manage on your expectations. And then the final this card. It’s not a race up it is a absolutely Nobody understands what the fuck just happened. And if you have that kind of ending I’m afraid that’s not normal..

Print Friendly, PDF & Email