Learn how to stop being a victim of narcissist abuse. education is the number one way to stop being a victim. Once you understand the red flags and the patterns you WILL stop being a victim.
Transcription:
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Hi there. This is Tracy today. I want to talk to you about victim versus Victim Mindset and
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There’s been a lot of discussion in my world this week about being a victim
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and
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I
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think [the] difference between Victim and
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The Victim Mindset is the past and [the] future
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because in a way if we’ve been
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with a narcissist or sociopath
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We were a victim I
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Think that we must look at ourselves as a target. I think a target is a much better word than victim because
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Victim
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to me is something that we don’t want to be stuck in it is not something that we want to hold on to and
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Through education through learning about narcissists as you are doing if you are on a narcissist abuse
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YouTube Channel
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Through learning about that
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we need to not [only] learn about the red flags of a narcissist the behaviors and patterns and
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We need to suck that all in do not get me wrong. We need to understand that so that it never happens again
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Not so much so that it
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Gives any power to it because [that] was the past
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How you move forward is how you move out [a] victim if you can understand?
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after you learn all the accountability and
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all of the things that
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Brought you to being a target and a perfect target right? I’m [sure] that every single one of us can answer this and say
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Yes, I was a target. It’s a much better word don’t you think than victim?
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We have to look at this and understand that there are reasons that we are targeted by
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our vulnerabilities and
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In a great book I’m going to read a little paragraph right now
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Love frauds I donna
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Anderson raped
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great YouTube channel Great book and great blog love broadcom and
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Donna has done a lot of research more research. I think than anybody in actually
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surveying
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victims
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Serving people that have been in these relationships
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And what’s important to understand in this healing pattern is?
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the vulnerabilities that
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made you a Target and
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Please don’t think that. They’re bad vulnerabilities these are situations of life that
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have been there, but if we just don’t put [that] out there if we just
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kind of
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hold those things inside don’t make ourselves that we won’t be as vulnerable to the narcissist or
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sociopath
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I’m going to read some of the things that she’s written and
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Let’s see if any of them hold true for you. Let’s see if any of them have meaning for you
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Of her survey twenty percent say that they were wounded
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They say that they were vulnerable because they had [just] ended a relationship
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Maybe they were getting a divorce
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They were in a bad or abusive marriage or they had been in an abusive family of origin
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Sixteen percent said they needed love they were looking for love attention and a sense of connection
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They wanted to be protected and they needed to be needed. I don’t know about you, but
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So far. I’m a 242
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Lonely
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Fourteen percent said that they perceived emptiness in their life and that they had ended our relationships or been in a long-term committed relationship
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And their children were grown or no longer needed them so they were lonely whatever the reason was that
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attracted you
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to a narcissist and you became a Target
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You can’t not be lonely. We just have to under stand our accountability in this
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Empathy fourteen percent said that they were apathetic and caring they felt compelled to help other people and
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responded to appeals of sympathy
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We know [Narcis] is like to be the victims. They need sympathy and they play into this so
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if there’s a way that you can look at yourself and look at that the series of events that happened with your
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Narcissist if you can look deep inside and find
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another way to empathize with someone if they’re
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You don’t have to help them does that make sense you can empathize with them gosh
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I’m sorry that you know whatever it was but just don’t let them steal you into their story
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which as we know is just a story these aren’t real but
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[we] don’t know that um Eleven percent had low self-esteem
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respondents were
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Mentioned they had low self-esteem a lack of confidence in security Shyness and low regard for themselves now
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What makes us a perfect target is that they’re going to come in and build our self-esteem?
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They’re going to make us feel like we are the most special person and how could we have lived all her life without this person
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really something to look hard at
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Ten percent people wanted a relationship
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they [wanted] a lover a committed relationship marriage family, children and
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In some of our cases the biological clock was ticking
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And they wanted to have a family and they wanted to not be alone all [right]
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morning relationship
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How about trusting trusting seven percent of her respondents said that they describe themselves as a trusting person?
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and maybe even a little innocent or naive
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Some of them were young and inexperienced
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Most of them say they’re honest their moral the religious
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Had no
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Idea about sociopaths narcissists and that they could be a target of somebody
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Simply because they were a good-hearted loving person
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But this is the reality you [are] a target you were a target if you’re watching my channel by gosh, you were a Target
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Ha let’s go for a few more
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another six percent of the respondents said they had serious problems um
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Well and needed assistance
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maybe they needed money or a place to live they had disabilities or medical issues and
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here comes the knight in shining armor we
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Let’s do this flower wait
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They’re following you to help you and what a blessing. That is it’s a soul
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Mate in Heaven made here that just fix your problems
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But guess what nobody can fix your problems?
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But you and it is good to have someone [along] [side] for the ride it is good to feel needed and loved
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But at what cost and that’s really important for us to look at
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Five percent of the people said that they were struggling to be single parents and a long game
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the knight in shining armor and
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It made it a lot easier
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It isn’t kind of last
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the sociopaths usually buys gifts helps care for them
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takes them under their wing and
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Sooner or later you will find that they are taking control of the situation and trying to make it into something that it’s not
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Let’s see four percent of the respondents
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Say they’re dealing with Grief
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maybe they just been widowed or lost somebody a family friend a child they were looking to fill the void and
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The sociopath or Narcissist kind of swooped in to help you oh
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There’s so many things on here
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I could just go on and on but those are the basic things of what made us a Target
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Not a victim take the victim speak and gone [alright]. I don’t want to hear it anymore
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I don’t want to say it to myself I
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was a victim, but I am a survivor I
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Was a victim I was a target. It’s what you tell yourself in your head
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What was the lesson that you learned from this experience?
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There is a divine reason that this person came into your life and right now
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It sucks sucks sucks sucks
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I know that, but you have to look this is your homework you have to look
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What look lesson was what did this person come into your life for I can look at my two?
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Narcissus and I can say that they came in so that I have
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self-Awareness and
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that I
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Learned from from where I was this is a lesson for me to
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Build and grow and never make this mistake again. Look I did it twice, and I had a narcissistic mother
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These are patterns that are familiar and and patterns that that keep us in there
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How do we break that pattern we break that pattern by learning about it and by the story that we tell ourselves?
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If you get away from he should he did this she did that I gave him everything by my whole life
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There’s so much yes, these things happened. Don’t take it out there, but
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What were the lessons what were the gifts? There’s a gift in this stupidity pneus, but that’s not a word
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Sorry allergies are crazy out here obviously I am sitting here with some beautiful little
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Colorado flowers around me and man, that’s making my nose right sorry um
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Being lied to interact in my whole life
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to the point of the bottom hitting bottom and
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the disgrace
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It has put me in a place of self growth, and I have never experienced so thank you
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My narcissus thank you for helping me. I got it alright. This is never Gonna happen again
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But in changing the story I can say
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Let’s see. What is my story?
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Instead of he did this she did that I can say I
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have learned that I am worth Love I
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am I have learned that I am a good person and
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I
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Don’t need someone else to validate me. I don’t need this and I am not a victim I
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Want to encourage you to take victim out of your vocabulary and turn it around
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Right in affirmation for yourself about what you learned. I don’t care if it was a 35-year marriage
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There was a reason that person was here, and you know what there’s a reason. They’re gone
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That’s even better hold on to that you get another chance
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I don’t care if you’re 55 years old or your 20 you get another chance
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It’s like another lottery ticket
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so take it and
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Don’t hold on to the past hold on to the future and say I’m not going to take this anymore
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And I’m not going to be silent don’t be silent
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own
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What happened, but own why own how you can help yourself never have that happen again?
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There are so many beautiful things and if we take gratitude into our life
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Gratitude for this beautiful flowers the sky the Cornfield. I’m looking at
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If we take into this the hawk that is flying by God he is beautiful
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Thank you, and take away and stop thinking about the bad that is the only way we go from Victim to
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Survivor this is Tracy
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This is my Sunday morning message. Have a great day peace out
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