Suicidal thoughts after a narcissist? Have you ever thought of killing Yourself after your abuse? Did you try? Many of us have including myself. I am grateful I did not, for many reasons, he wasn’t worth it, my life did go on, I would have missed my child growing up. Let’s talk about this…. take it out of the closet and really understand how low we were and share any advice to our sisters and brothers that may think of hurting themselves.
Transcription:
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Hi there this is Tracy and tonight I’d like to talk to you about
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The desire to what to kill yourself
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when you’ve been involved in a relationship, that’s failed and
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I
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don’t know about you, but I
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think that
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When you’re with a narcissist sociopath a
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Psychopath
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They have done so much crazy-making in your mind that
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You lose a sense of reality you lose the feeling that
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You’re worth anything they’ve taken that away from you so for me, I’ll tell you my story
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when my two ex-husband
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Asked me for a divorce clear out of the blue completely blindsided I
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Was
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Forced to move out of my marital home
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he moved to the other side of the country, and I was put through a horrific divorce I
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Was so scared of having to start again
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Having to love again. He was my second husband, and I thought the man of my dreams
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And I
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Didn’t realize until
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recently how
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uneven that relationship was and how much more I had given to the relationship I
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Was just kind of giving and loving and he had a very fake
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self thing that he would do to me which was to buy love trinkets and
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Whether they were
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You know baubles and clothes
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10 pairs of shoes at a time whatever it was he was like that was his way to show love and
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I was supposed to except that
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and I did I didn’t want you in the beginning, but then I did and
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That was this love bombing this this whole thing just came on like
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Exactly textbook
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But during that discard and during
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A night which ended up being the last night my son saw him
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They went out to dinner and left me in this new apartment
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unwrapping and opening all the boxes after had just moved and
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I held the boxcar to my wrist
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and googled how
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just let your wrist the best way like maybe less mass or quicker I
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wanted to know
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Sadly that stuff is out there on Google
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But as I sat there in my bed, and I knew my son would be dropped off soon I
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I
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call the suicide hotline and
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they talked me down and they and they
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You know really put the whole kid thing in there to the point where?
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You know what was like I wasn’t thinking
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what would happen when he found me and then they put that thought in my head, and and then I stopped and
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And I cried a lot, but I didn’t
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kill myself
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And I wonder how many suicides are a result
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Of
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Being with a sociopath or a narcissists, I wonder what the statistics are that?
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People that have been discarded in this horrific way
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And want to kill themselves try to kill themselves
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I don’t think that were weak. I think that we’re strong
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We’re here, you didn’t do it and I
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Just wrote on my support group. I wrote an answer to somebody and I said
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the best way to
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Think about
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That event
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possibly
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You know cutting yourself or or taking pills whatever you were gonna do to
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You know kill yourself
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if that thought comes back to your brain I
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Want you to really think?
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that
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That it didn’t happen
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because
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Maybe you’re just outside and the snow is coming down
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And there’s nothing like that quieted the snow right why is it so quiet?
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Everything is just this you don’t have that ever
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Or the rain is falling on your face, or you see a rainbow
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All of these things are things and reasons why?
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We should be thankful that we’re here
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But we need to learn that
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No matter what?
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We didn’t value ourselves, and we will never give that power up again. We will never ever
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let
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Our well-being be in the hands of someone who doesn’t deserve it
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That’s so important
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I’ve wondered how many people we could save if we just taught them this
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I
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Know for me
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Very few people I’ve told I tell you it’s like YouTube more stuff that my friends well know but like you know Facebook friends
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It’s a hard thing for people to admit
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But I’m really glad that I didn’t do it
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This is Tracy I
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Love it if you subscribed
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It’s been like the same number all week long
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and and that really just makes me sad because I like to watch that go up and
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I really appreciate that people are watching me, so thank you and uh
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Peace out this is Tracy. That’s all I got
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