Below the Surface of Narcissistic Abuse

Subscribe in a reader

So many of us survivors have the same mutual thought – we did not know we were being abused by a narcissist. That might sound odd to someone and may have questions asked like:
How can you say now that you were abused? You were happy and now you are just pissed off because you are no longer together!

There is so much more of the victims world that has been abused and a narcissist shows one face to the world and another at home. We as victims just write that bad behavior off with excuses… they are tired, they have so much on their mind… the list goes on.

Emotional abuse is very real and we need to bring awareness and educate ourselves and our children. Then we can work on the police and legal system.

 

Transcription:

0:00:00.310,0:00:06.089
Hi, there. It is Tracy and tonight. I would like [to] talk to you about

0:00:07.960,0:00:09.960
life on the surface

0:00:10.599,0:00:12.599
westlife look like

0:00:13.360,0:00:15.360
when you’re with a narcissist

0:00:15.879,0:00:22.259
Life to the average person your friend your neighbor was up the other soccer moms

0:00:22.900,0:00:29.760
Light on the surface being so wonderful with a narcissist because when they’re in public

0:00:30.789,0:00:35.039
They are so God damn charming

0:00:35.739,0:00:40.229
that they just wiegel our way into everyone’s heart and

0:00:41.590,0:00:47.549
For me. I know that when I was in public with to ask my ex-husband

0:00:48.910,0:00:54.660
He was the most doting loving husband you’ve ever seen he was actually

0:00:55.960,0:01:01.739
Seemingly a good step father he would put his arm around my son

0:01:03.070,0:01:05.939
Know them aboard this like they do it every day

0:01:07.390,0:01:13.019
But it was a puppet. I didn’t know it then but I’m a surface I

0:01:14.320,0:01:18.239
Saw what the people were seeing I wasn’t even seeing

0:01:21.970,0:01:25.709
The reality of what was happening at home I?

0:01:27.070,0:01:33.809
Didn’t see it slip away. It was so so when I was married for 10 years, but on the surface

0:01:34.840,0:01:41.759
Just four comma justice of my childhood and I was just at my therapist me cuz you’re going to get the bonus of that

0:01:42.130,0:01:43.869
um I

0:01:43.869,0:01:48.148
Was talking about on the surface of my childhood?

0:01:49.720,0:01:52.049
Boy, did it sound good?

0:01:52.990,0:01:54.369
I

0:01:54.369,0:01:57.209
told myself this over and over

0:01:58.329,0:02:00.009
Please look

0:02:00.009,0:02:02.009
What was really happy I?

0:02:02.590,0:02:04.739
didn’t know that I

0:02:05.530,0:02:09.539
Was being abused my whole Life I?

0:02:11.080,0:02:13.080
Didn’t know that people

0:02:14.770,0:02:16.770
that pretended

0:02:17.140,0:02:19.140
when they were in public

0:02:19.150,0:02:23.040
But they could pretend I knew that meant that they pretended like how could they pretend

0:02:23.260,0:02:30.090
You needa are in us and then you show something or you see that and I mean different play

0:02:30.090,0:02:33.780
He wasn’t like mad dog, Rooney, but when he went home

0:02:34.540,0:02:39.239
She started to slowly Erode and the fun and the excitement

0:02:39.940,0:02:41.940
started to be

0:02:42.400,0:02:44.489
and everything was a

0:02:45.340,0:02:46.900
bit sadder

0:02:46.900,0:02:50.580
He would sit on the chair and watch TV all weekend long

0:02:51.700,0:02:54.390
surround himself with like five different papers

0:02:55.450,0:03:00.270
he was so busy you mean, I don’t know what apparently talking to other women on the end or not but

0:03:03.640,0:03:09.660
Yeah, I didn’t see the surface. I did not see below it. So whatever he was putting out there for the public

0:03:10.720,0:03:13.229
that’s before my shock and

0:03:13.959,0:03:15.959
Now I’m realizing

0:03:16.840,0:03:20.340
That’s what I saw because after what I was used to when I was younger

0:03:21.519,0:03:27.179
You see we grew [up] in Connecticut and lived a very pretty utley aged life

0:03:28.630,0:03:30.630
and

0:03:33.160,0:03:35.160
On the surface it looked great

0:03:36.160,0:03:38.249
but I look back at it now and

0:03:39.010,0:03:41.010
I say

0:03:41.560,0:03:43.560
Why?

0:03:43.720,0:03:45.720
Didn’t we ever go on a family vacation?

0:03:48.910,0:03:51.749
Why does I try to kill myself when I was younger?

0:03:54.310,0:03:56.970
Why was I so unhappy that?

0:04:00.010,0:04:02.010
I wanted to get away I

0:04:04.870,0:04:06.870
Didn’t think of those things

0:04:08.560,0:04:11.310
But now I’m really starting to open up this place

0:04:11.440,0:04:18.809
gee Ryan Pandora’s box of my childhood and up my life, and I see now patterns of

0:04:22.030,0:04:25.830
cognitive distortion of my life with Rosie

0:04:27.310,0:04:29.170
We had good stops

0:04:29.170,0:04:32.729
Here’s a nice house who lived on the water of the boat?

0:04:33.400,0:04:35.170
Life was good

0:04:35.170,0:04:36.940
but it

0:04:36.940,0:04:39.690
Wasn’t to get off that surface

0:04:40.630,0:04:44.339
My parents fought a lot my mother was a raging alcoholic

0:04:45.820,0:04:53.549
She never wake [up] in the morning to let us off the group school. It was pouring rain. She didn’t care. She wouldn’t get up

0:04:56.650,0:04:58.650
We never played games

0:04:59.800,0:05:03.030
We never just sat at a table and played Monopoly I

0:05:04.960,0:05:10.350
Think I’m gonna play monopoly with my son tomorrow by golly. When’s the last time I did that?

0:05:10.350,0:05:13.890
Oh, wait. We’ve been doing kurt against humanity

0:05:13.890,0:05:20.489
That’s a much better game and [Ne23] so it’s kind of funny that he knows more about things when I do

0:05:22.180,0:05:26.340
Anyway, I want you to look at the surface of your life

0:05:28.419,0:05:35.369
Did it look like great in [Grand] so we were fools we were conned

0:05:37.210,0:05:42.510
But I only have two with the neat service to see what things met how

0:05:43.510,0:05:47.819
That pattern that I formed as a young child

0:05:49.900,0:05:56.560
But that was a good life because I had things I got to do cool stuff

0:05:58.820,0:06:00.820
But I never went camping with my family

0:06:04.220,0:06:08.679
never I think we went skiing when I was like eight, but

0:06:09.440,0:06:13.690
We didn’t go on vacations. I’ve never been on a plane with any

0:06:14.420,0:06:16.719
members of my family except for my child

0:06:18.110,0:06:20.110
That’s weird, right

0:06:20.480,0:06:27.129
And I can’t say that I can remember the last time we had thanksgiving dinner. I

0:06:29.060,0:06:31.060
would say

0:06:32.090,0:06:33.770
40 years ago

0:06:33.770,0:06:39.909
40 years ago last time I had Christmas or thanksgiving with any [members] of my family, so of course

0:06:39.910,0:06:46.899
I’m going to adopt the narcissus crazy fucking ass family of course. I’m going to adopt that I one of the family

0:06:47.990,0:06:50.260
this is all command got a derby that’s

0:06:54.680,0:06:57.430
All I got this is tracy please subscribe to my channel

0:06:57.680,0:07:02.770
I am going to be making lots of YouTube and if you’re looking for some extra support

0:07:02.770,0:07:09.039
I have a Facebook group, and it is called narcissist abuse support and

0:07:09.620,0:07:16.510
You just put that into a Facebook group, and it is a closed group, and we’re growing or about 250 now

0:07:16.510,0:07:20.379
it’s still smaller than most of the other groups but

0:07:21.560,0:07:27.250
The people are amazing and they will help you and they will validate whatever you’re going through

0:07:28.040,0:07:29.960
so

0:07:29.960,0:07:33.040
Come join us. This is tracy. That’s all I got

 

Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider!

playerfm